South Park Page #2

Synopsis: The curious, adventure-seeking, fourth grade group of boys, Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny, all join in in buffoonish adventures that sometimes evolve nothing. Sometimes something that was simple at the start, turns out to get out of control. Everything is odd in the small mountain town, South Park, and the boys always find something to do with it.
Genre: Animation, Comedy
  Won 5 Primetime Emmys. Another 10 wins & 78 nominations.
 
IMDB:
8.7
TV-MA
Year:
1997
22 min
2,792 Views


CHEF:

(To Cartman)

Oh, was it the ones with the big

long heads and the black eyes?

CARTMAN:

(PETRIFIED)

AH!

STAN:

They took him on their ship!

CHEF:

Ooh... Did they give you an anal

probe?

CARTMAN:

AGH!

STAN:

What's an anal probe?

CHEF:

That's when they put this big metal

hoop-a-joo up your butt.

KYLE:

Woa! They gave you an anal probe,

Cartman?

CARTMAN:

(Defensive)

No! I mean... Uh... Why would they

do that?

STAN:

Dude, they DID huh? Aliens stuck

stuff up your ass!

CARTMAN:

NO!

IKE:

Ana Pobe!

CARTMAN:

SHUT UP, DILDO!

CHEF:

Well, I gotta get to the cafeteria.

You children watch that fat boy now,

he could be under alien control.

Chef turns to get back in his car and Cartman notices that

the back of Chef's shirt has an EXACT image of the alien he

saw, and the word 'Believe'.

CHEF peels off.

KYLE:

We told you they were real Cartman.

Sorry to hear about your ass.

CARTMAN:

(Extremely angry)

God Dammit, they didn't do anything

to my ass! It was just a dream!

The school bus pulls up and the boys start getting on.

KYLE:

Why are you walking so funny, Cartman?

CARTMAN:

Shut up!

Little Ike tries to follow his brother onto the bus.

IKE:

I'll bla bblaa blaa

KYLE:

No, Ike! Go home!

Kyle gets ready to kick his brother.

IKE:

Bla Wa Wah

KYLE:

This is it!! This one's for the game.

IKE:

Bllaa aaahh haah

KYLE:

Kick the baby.

Kyle kicks his brother through the school bus window, and

Ike flies into a snowbank.

The boys quickly get on the bus. Ike pulls his head out of

the snow and looks around for his brother.

INT. SCHOOL BUS - MORNING

The kids walk past their mean old bus driver, MS. CRABTREE.

STAN:

Good morning, Ms. Crabtree.

MS. CRABTREE

Sit down! We're running late!

Stan and Kyle walk to the back of the bus and take their

seats. Cartman and Kenny sit up a few rows. Kyle looks out

the back window to see Ike still standing at the bus stop.

KYLE:

Dammit, he's still there!

STAN:

Oh, don't worry about him.

KYLE:

No, dude, if something happens to

him my parents are gonna blame me!

MS. CRABTREE

SIT DOWN BACK THERE!! AAHHHH!!!

STAN:

Yeah, whatever you fat b*tch.

MS. CRABTREE

WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

STAN:

I said I have a bad itch.

MS. CRABTREE

Oh.

Stan and Kyle sit down and the school bus moves on. Kyle

turns around one last time to look at his brother.

KYLE:

OH MY GOD!!!!

EXT. BUSSTOP - DAY

A group of VISITORS, with large heads and almond shaped eyes,

surround Ike.

INT. - BUS

KYLE AND STAN:

VISITORS!

Scared, Kenny pulls his hood shut.

KENNY:

Mph mprmhpm bmarmphs!

KYLE:

Ike!!!

EXT. BUSSTOP - DAY

The visitors lead Ike to a large space craft hidden in the

trees.

INT. BUS

KYLE:

STOP THE BUS!

Kyle runs to the front of the bus.

KYLE:

Ms. Crabtree, you have to stop this

bus!

MS. CRABTREE

Do you want an office referral?!

KYLE:

(SCARED)

No.

MS.CRABTREE

Then sit down!

KYLE:

But I....

MS. CRABTREE

AAHH!!!

KYLE:

AAHHH!!!!!

MS. CRABTREE & KYLE

AAHHHH!!!!!

Kyle runs to the back of the bus and hopelessly looks out

the back window again just in time to see the spaceship take

off.

STAN:

Cartman, are those the same Visitors

you saw?!

Rate this script:4.5 / 4 votes

Matt Stone

Matthew Richard "Matt" Stone (born May 26, 1971) is an American actor, animator, screenwriter, television director, producer, singer, and songwriter. He is best known for being the co-creator of South Park along with his creative partner Trey Parker, as well as co-writing the 2011 multi-Tony Award winning musical The Book of Mormon. more…

All Matt Stone scripts | Matt Stone Scripts

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Submitted by acronimous on May 17, 2016

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