South Park

EXT. SCHOOL BUS STOP - MORNING

STAN, KYLE AND KENNY wait in the snow for their school bus,

holding their lunch boxes and debating.

KIDS:

(Singing)

School days school days, teacher's

golden-

Kyle's little brother, IKE, bounces into frame.

KYLE:

-Ah damn it, my little brother's

trying to follow me to school again.

IKE tries to talk.

IKE:

BaBa Simi

KYLE:

Ike, you can't come to school with

me!

IKE:

BaBa Simi ba baa.

CARTMAN:

Yeah, go home you little dildo.

KYLE:

Dude! Don't call my brother a dildo.

STAN:

What's a dildo?

KYLE:

I don't know... and I'll bet Cartman

doesn't know either!

CARTMAN:

I know what it means!

KYLE:

Well, what?!

CARTMAN:

...I'm not telling you.

STAN:

What's a dildo, Kenny?

Kenny talks, but we can't understand him through his thick

coat.

KENNY:

Mph rmph phrmph m phrmph mmr.

The boys all laugh.

CARTMAN:

HA YEAH! THAT'S WHAT KYLE'S LITTLE

BROTHER IS ALRIGHT!!

Suddenly, Kyle grabs Ike by the feet, swings him around, and

bashes Cartman in the face.

CARTMAN:

OW!

STAN:

Dude that kicks ass!

KYLE:

Yeah! Check this one out!

(to Ike)

Ready Ike? Kick the baby

IKE:

Don't kick the baby.

KYLE:

Kick the baby.

Kyle kicks his brother down the icy road.

IKE:

Wahhhhh!

Ike shoots down the road with a playful scream, and crashes

head first into a group of mail boxes.

Cartman yawns grotesquely.

STAN:

Whoa, Cartman, looks like you didn't

get much sleep last night.

CARTMAN:

That's 'cause I was having these

bogus nightmares.

KYLE:

Really, what about?

CARTMAN:

Well, I dreamt that I was lying in

my bed... In the dark...

INT. CARTMAN'S BEDROOM - DREAM SEQUENCE

Cartman is lying in his bed.

CARTMAN(V.O.)

...When all of a sudden this bright

blue light filled the room.

A bright light fills the room.

CARTMAN:

And slowly my bedroom door began to

open... And then the next thing I

remember, I was being drug through a

hallway!

INT. ALIEN SHIP - DREAM SEQUENCE

Cartman is being dragged by his ankles down a dark, organic

corridor like the one seen in 'Fire In The Sky'.

CARTMAN:

Then I was lying on a table, and

these scary aliens wanted to operate

on me! And they had big heads...

And big black eyes-

EXT. BUSSTOP - (REALITY)

The boys are listening to Cartman's story with wide eyes and

open mouths. Even little Ike is enthralled.

STAN:

Dude! Visitors!

KYLE:

Totally!

CARTMAN:

What?

STAN:

That wasn't a dream, Cartman, those

were visitors!

CARTMAN:

(Nervous)

No, it was just a dream. My mom said

so!

STAN:

Visitors are real!

KYLE:

Yeah, they abduct people and they

mutilate cows!

CARTMAN:

Ah shut up, you guys, you're just

trying to make me scared, and it's

not working.

A large Chevy screeches to a halt. CHEF gets out of the car

and approaches the kids.

CHEF:

Hello there, children.

KIDS:

Hey, Chef.

STAN:

What's gonna be for lunch today,

Chef?

CHEF:

Well, today it's Salisbury steak

with buttered noodles and a choice

of green bean casserole or vegetable

medley.

CARTMAN:

Kick ass!

CHEF:

Say, did any of you children see the

alien spaceship last night?

CARTMAN:

HUH?!

STAN:

Yeah, fat boy saw it!

CARTMAN:

No! Th-That was just a dream! And

I'm NOT fat, I'm big-boned.

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