South Sea Woman Page #6

Just like that guy Shakespeare said:

If you gotta get shot, there's nothing like

a quivering arrow from Cupid's bow.

Hey, sarge, look, our only furniture.

Come on and test it, baby.

Sister, you sure got my sympathy.

What's that crack supposed to mean?

- What do you think it means?

- Davey, no.

The ship's whistle.

Look at that beauty. A yacht.

A big, fat luxury yacht.

Talk about lady luck.

Don't worry, baby. I'm sticking

to this island like a barnacle to a rock.

Captain, am I glad to see you.

Sergeant o'Hearn,

United States Marine Corps.

Captain van Dorck, Dutch East Indies.

What is it you want?

- When are you sailing?

- Tomorrow morning.

- Where you heading?

- To a neutral island.

Well, that's fine. Then you won't mind

taking an extra passenger or two.

I'm sorry, you're a soldier

of a nation at war.

If I were caught transporting you,

they'd confiscate my ship.

- But, captain, isn't it?

- I told you, I'm sorry.

Sarge.

I sort of suspicioned all the time

that you weren't no dirty turncoat.

Give me the old mitt.

You was a chief petty officer in the Navy

for a long time?

Twenty-five years.

- Can you navigate a ship?

- Can I navigate a ship?

- Can you hit Pearl Harbor?

- Hit Pearl Harb?

Heck, I could dock the ship

above the veranda...

...of The Royal Hawaiian hotel

in a pea-soup fog.

Who around here can we depend on?

Well, outside of the Free French

in the hoosegow, there's only two.

That drunken Aussie, Fitzroy,

and Mr. Smith.

He's always yapping about

wanting to get back to the States.

Why?

We're gonna collect us a crew,

hijack this tub and shove off.

- Now, wait a minute...

- Don't argue, we haven't got much time.

Come on, there's a guy around here

quoting Shakespeare.

That's funny.

If they put in here only for water,

how come they're unloading those crates?

Jimmylegs, you better stick around here

and keep your eyes open. I'll see you later.

Here comes the eager beaver

with a bloodshot gleam in his eye.

- Let's get back to our cozy little shack.

- Hey, mac.

- Where are you going?

- We got important business.

All right, cut out the hogwash

and listen to me.

We're busting out of here tonight.

- Yeah? And how do you figure that?

- We're swiping that yacht.

Your old man must've dropped you

on your noggin to see if you'd bounce.

He bounced.

And we're bouncing right back

to our outfit now.

What do you use for a crew,

your three French tomatoes?

Very funny. We'll shanghai them.

We'll liberate them Free Frenchies.

- Yeah? And who runs the engine?

- The sanitation engineer.

If he can run cesspool pump,

he can run that yacht.

No fooling. And who navigates?

That's all set. Jimmylegs Donovan.

That skeleton preserved in alcohol?

His idea of navigating is to spit over

the side and follow which way it goes.

- Now you're quibbling.

- I'm not quibbling.

I wouldn't sail with a crew like that

on a ferry to Staten Island.

If you think

I'm gonna marry Ginger tonight...

...then spend my life

floating around in an ocean full of Japs...

...looking for dry land, you got more

rocks in your head than a cement mixer.

You're talking about desertion again.

You're beginning to sound

like a phonograph record, sarge.

Call it anything you want.

I'm staying put.

You know what the articles

for the Navy say.

Desertion in time of war

is punishable by death.

Now you're getting stuffy.

What a mistake I made.

Here I thought I had found myself

a real sidekick.

The fightingest Marine in the 4th Regiment

and what happens?

He runs into a dame.

A baby pie with a mop of blond hair

and a cute torso.

He turns into a lousy deserter

and a yellow-bellied coward.

He picks buttercups and daffodils,

won't raise a hand to fight for his country.

You bore me to tears, sarge.

Always on the same kick.

Always on the Marine Corps,

the Marine Corps.

You just can't get it through

that thick skull of yours...

...that some guys'd rather bask in the sun

with a beautiful blond...

...than get their keister shot off

in a foxhole.

- Not in time of war, I can't.

- Well, I'm one of those guys, see?

So I say you can take your Marine Corps

and stow it.

Okay.

Okay.

That will teach me to get tangled

with a gunny sergeant.

But, Davey, he's right.

I mean, he is right when he says

it's different in time of war.

- Oh, so you're piping the same tune, huh?

- No, Davey.

But...

Well, I understand how you feel too.

You mean you'd rather

have me nice and cozy in that igloo...

...than out dodging bullets?

Yes, Davey, of course.

Well, okay, then, here goes one Marine

who's gonna die with his boots off.

So you must see that Sergeant o'Hearn

never did anything...

...against the Marine Corps

from beginning to end.

And everything he did

was for the good of the corps.

Please, Ms. Martin,

you're assuming we're incapable...

...of drawing our own conclusions.

I'm not, I'm not.

I'm only afraid you won't understand.

Can't you see

what a terrible thing it would be...

...to punish this man

when his life is the corps?

Why, he thinks when you go to heaven,

you end up in the halls of Montezuma.

Colonel Hickman,

may I suggest that the witness...

...has exhausted her value to this court?

I emphatically concur.

There being no dissent...

...unless the witness has any further facts

to establish, she's excused.

I've just got this to say, gentlemen.

And I'm gonna say it,

even though I know every word...

...will turn Sergeant o'Hearn against me,

maybe forever.

But I can't help it.

I can't help telling you that Davey White

committed the crime of desertion.

And if he were here, he would be the one

on trial, not Sergeant o'Hearn.

I'm sorry, Jim, but I had to.

Any more witnesses?

- No, sir.

- No, sir.

The judge advocate will present

his closing argument.

There seems to be no doubt, gentlemen,

as to the guilt of one PFC David White.

But regardless what disposition

might be made of that matter...

...the fact is that this court-martial

has convened...

...to try Sergeant James o'Hearn.

Therefore, I contend...

one moment, please.

Yes?

- Can I ask a question, sir?

- You may.

Can it happen as a result

of this court-martial...

...the name of David White

be stricken from the honor roll?

It's possible.

They could even put it on his record

that he was a deserter?

In the absence of evidence

to the contrary, yes.

Then I no longer stand mute.

You now wish to testify

in your own defense...

...is that it?

- If that's how you wanna put it.

The accused will take the stand

and be sworn in.

Raise your right hand.

You swear the evidence

you shall give before the court...

...shall be the truth and nothing

but the truth, so help you God?

- I do.

- Proceed with the witness.

What is it you wanna say, sergeant?

Well, first off, I wanna tell you why

I've been keeping my yap shut all this time.

David White is listed as over the hill,

which is how it should be.

And how it would've been

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