South Sea Woman Page #7

if Miss Martin hadn't shot her mouth off.

Now I gotta set the record straight...

...so everybody will know exactly

what kind of a Marine Davey White was.

I don't expect anybody to believe what

I'm gonna say because I got no proof...

...except what I saw with my own eyes.

But I'm gonna see to it

it gets on the record.

Sergeant o'Hearn, since your great friend,

David White, is listed as over the hill...

...would you mind telling the court

just exactly where he is right now?

- I'm coming to that, sir.

- The Navy Department...

...has been looking for him.

I wouldn't be surprised.

You don't imagine he's still on a wild spree

down in the South Seas?

I told you I was coming to that, mister.

I guess I better pick up from the time

I decided to swipe me that yacht.

Now, let me see.

That afternoon, Jimmylegs Donovan

and me, we did a little scouting.

And we ran across a couple

of interesting things...

...such as the crates they was unloading

on that yacht contained radar equipment.

- Radar?

- But how? Why?

It didn't take us long to find out

Captain van Dorck was no Dutchman.

He was a German under the Bismarck

Archipelago, a Kraut naval officer...

...going around setting up radar stations

for spotting planes.

And, brother, for a reason

that made plenty of sense.

- What is that?

- Guadalcanal.

Guadalcanal?

If you take a look at the map, you'll see it's

only about 200 nautical miles from Namou.

And naturally, when I found out the Marines

had landed on Guadalcanal...

...I figured that's where

Davey and me belong.

So I sort of swung into action a little.

With due regard for tact and diplomacy

and everything according to the manual.

First, we busted into

that stinking Portuguese dungeon...

... and liberated them Free Frenchies.

Most of them were too old

and sick to put to sea...

... but they sure were aching to throw

their hooks into that pig-faced Marchand.

It hit me all of a sudden

when we was going through that arsenal...

... that it would be a crying shame to leave

all that artillery, ammo and TNT behind...

... especially when we was expecting

to sail smack into a battle zone.

Only, what we didn't know

was the captain of them gendarmes...

... had got hep to us.

But what I didn't know

didn't hurt me none.

Not yet.

So I figured the next thing to do...

... was to start rounding me up a crew.

Wake up. Wake up.

Shut up.

You're taking an ocean trip with us.

Tell this dirty collaborator

in your own lingo.

If he wants to live, he's gonna run

the engines of that yacht for us.

Gentlemen, I think they must have

gotten wise to us.

After you, Alphonse.

But I'm happy to join you,

Sergeant o'Hearn. It's most important.

You see, I made a terrible mistake

10 years ago.

I embezzled a small sum

from the Seattle Bank and Trust.

Been afraid to go back ever since.

Smithy, we know we can count on you.

You can go back now with flags flying.

Flags flying?

Like the man without a country,

I've been saving this.

Sergeant.

Marchand.

Play it straight, Smithy.

Mr. Smith!

You'll have to talk English

if you want me to understand.

I don't know what is happening.

Alphonse has disappeared.

I was in his house when someone tapped

me on the shoulder. I turned my head...

That ought to fix him.

No more gin, I'm cracked.

Come on your feet,

you drunken crumb.

Aussie, it's me, o'Hearn.

Always yakking about

wanting your self-respect.

- Well, I wanna give you a chance.

- Self-respect?

Sweet Fanny Adams,

it's too late for that.

It's never too late.

But I'm wanted for murder in Brisbane.

You're going to war.

You're gonna fight for Australia.

- Australia?

- Not again.

Marchand.

Alphonse!

That rounded out the crew I needed.

The next thing was to go to the beach...

...and rendezvous with them Frenchies

who were bringing up the artillery.

Then I sent out scouts to reconnoiter.

Like it says in the manual...

...you move into action on the q.t.

Or you're up the creek.

Where was Captain van Dorck

all this time?

- That's exactly what I was wondering.

- So was I.

You know what?

He was tearing the island to pieces

looking for me.

Somehow he got it

into that dumb head of his...

...that if he could kill the ringleader,

meaning me...

...his troubles would be over.

So I suppose you just climbed

aboard that yacht...

...hoisted the blue peter

and set sail on the bounding main?

No, mister, you're wrong.

You see, I got it into my dumb head that

there was one guy missing in that crew.

And I wouldn't have thought of leaving

him behind for all the tea in China.

So naturally I held everything up...

...while I drifted over

to the wedding ceremony.

That knucklehead.

He'll be beating out

a different kind of jive before long.

What's keeping Father Gerard?

I told you, he's delayed

because he's delivering twins.

Twins? Why couldn't

they hold up the twins?

You men.

Chrie, the day will come

when he won't talk this way, eh?

My darlings, be happy.

Do not be sad, this is a wedding.

Gingersnap, what's getting into you?

This is our wedding night.

Yes. Yes, I know.

I was just thinking.

About that little rhubarb

I had with the sarge.

No, no, I...

oh, I'm sorry, Davey.

Believe me, there's nothing to worry about.

I'll try so hard to be a good wife.

Come on now.

It's better when you don't have to try.

When it comes natural.

Yes, I guess that's so.

At least they ain't tied

them nuptial knots yet.

- That Sergeant o'Hearn, is he here?

- Sergeant o?

Well, well,

if it ain't the captain of that yacht.

What do you want?

What has he done?

Don't hide him.

He was seen coming here.

You're barking at the wrong tree, Jojo.

This is the last place he'd come to.

- But what has he done?

- Who cares?

This is a wedding, not a horse opera.

Beat it, fish face.

Looks like we'll have to sail

without your pal, sarge.

That's what you think.

Sit down, my good friends.

On with the dance. Let joy be unrefined.

What's the matter with them?

Davey, you can't just sit there.

Even if you did have a fight with him,

he's in trouble.

I'll bet he fixed it for those jerks to go

running like chickens with their heads off...

...just so he can hijack that yacht.

- Do you think so?

- Sure, baby.

I'll bet right now,

he's sailing right into the blue Pacific.

- I hope so.

- Yes, sir.

At long last,

I've got that dirty crumb out of my hair.

And he thought

he could take me under his wing.

Davey, look.

What?

Look.

Why, that dirty,

filthy sneaking cockroach.

If he thinks

he's gonna bust up this wedding...

Lover boy, the bugle has blown.

Well, you just try

something cute around here.

Shut up or I'll put a bullet in you.

Try it. One of those guys

will put a bullet into you.

You weren't such a rat

as I thought you was.

And that's why I'm taking you with me.

Madam Duval,

I hate to break up this lovely shindig...

...but the bridegroom here

is booked for an ocean cruise.

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