Space Jam

Michael?

What are you doing? lt's after 12.

Couldn't sleep, Pops.

Neither can we,

with the noise you're making.

Let's go inside.

Just one more shot?

All right.

Just one.

Good. Shoot it again.

Getting pretty good. Shoot till you miss.

You think if l can get good enough,

l can go to college?

lf you get good enough,

you can do anything you want.

l want to play at North Carolina.

That's a real fine school.

You can get a good education.

l want to play on a championship team.

Then l want to play in the NBA.

All right, let's slow down, son.

Shouldn't you get some sleep first?

Once l've done all that...

...l want to play baseball, like you.

Baseball. Yeah, now, that's a sport.

When you've done that...

...l suppose you're going to fly?

At this time...

...l've reached the pinnacle of my

basketball career and must retire.

The one good thing is that my

father had the opportunity...

...to see me play my last game.

That means a lot.

What'll you do now?

l've never really told anybody this,

except for one person.

l'm going to play professional baseball.

What are you going to play?

l don't know. As a kid, l was a pitcher.

l think outfield,

because it'll be hard for me to pitch.

Let's get out of here. This stinks.

Don't bring me again.

Don't bring me again.

Are you listening?

Did you hear him? Did you hear him?

That little brat is right.

l told you, if l've told you once...

...l told you a thousand, thousand,

thousand, thousand times!

We need new attractions!

New ones!

Get it?

Big, shiny new things.

Absolutely, sir.

Look at me and listen:

The customer is always right!

Right!

The customer is always right!

Exactly!

Always!

Right!

Okay, we need something.

We need something...

...nutty!

Something wacky.

Wacky!

We need something, something....

Looney? Oops!

Looney. Thank you!

Looney?

Yes! Looney!

Now you're talking!

Looney! Looney! That's it!

That's the word l was looking for!

Get the Looney Tunes.

Bring them here.

Sir, just noticing...

...they're from Earth.

What if they can't come?

What did you say?

What if they can't come?

Make them.

Cool.

Make them!

We're gonna get them!

Strike!

Looks good in that uniform.

Looks great. Can't teach that.

Can't teach it.

Thanks for autographing

that basketball for my kid.

l'm happy to do it.

Let's go!

Curve ball. Don't swing.

Don't...swing.

Ball!

Fastball, outside corner. Swing.

Strike!

That was your pitch.

l know, l missed it.

l'll get you another one.

Podolak!

Come here.

-l'm sorry, l didn't mean to--

-Come here!

Make sure that nobody bothers Michael.

l want him to be the happiest player.

Slider. Don't swing.

Strike three!

l told you not to!

l couldn't help it.

l know. Nice talking to you!

We're not worried.

Good cut.

That was a good-looking strikeout.

You look good when you strike out.

When l do, it looks nasty.

At least you look good. Good-looking.

Hi, Mr. Jordan.

l'm Stan Podolak.

Oh, jeez.

You okay?

That was a nasty fall.

l'm Stan Podolak, Mr. Jordan,

the Baron's new publicist.

l'm here to make your life easier.

Can l drive you somewhere?

You want me to pick up your laundry,

baby-sit your kids?

l am here to personally guarantee...

...that no one will ever bother you.

What was that?

Hang on!

-Hanging on!

-Hanging on!

Are we there yet?

-Bombastic!

-Cool.

You irascible bunny!

Come back here, you screwy rodent!

l'll be with you in a second, folks,

after l finish with nature boy here.

All right, you pesky rabbit.

l've got you now!

One small step for moi....

One giant leap for Moron Mountain!

And one whopper headache for Elmer Fudd.

Diminutive, ain't they?

We seek the one they call Bugs Bunny.

-Have you seen him?

-Where is he?

ls he around?

Bugs Bunny, Bugs Bunny.

Say, does he have great big long ears?

Like this?

Does he hop around...

...like this?

Does he say, ''What's up, doc?'' like this:

What's up, doc?

Nope! Never heard of him.

You know,

maybe there is no intelligent life...

...out in the universe after all.

Hold on there, Mr. Looney Tune.

What do you think we are? Stupid?

Don't move a muscle.

Okay, bunny, gather up your Tune pals.

-We're taking you for a ride.

-Move it.

Totally. All right.

So, like, where are we going?

Are we there yet?

-Sorry it took so long.

-Don't worry about it.

That exit on 65 wasn't clearly marked.

-Hold up, right here.

-Here?

Thanks, Sherm.

-Appreciate it.

-lt's Stan, Mike.

You can call me Sherm if you want.

l follow your career and l think you're

the greatest athlete that's ever lived.

How do l get out?

The door doesn't work.

lt's a classic.

lt's a classic, but it's got

a few peccadillos. Hold on.

A few?

lt's smoking too.

Thanks for the ride.

This is nice. This is a nice house.

Beautiful. What is that, Colonial?

lt's a nice house.

lf you need help with the house....

l'm fine, thanks.

You gave me a ride. Thanks.

l'll drive tomorrow, so l don't need a ride.

But thanks, though.

Too conspicuous?

Yeah.

Thanks, though.

-Tomorrow!

-See you tomorrow.

Come on! No, not today!

Get off me! Your breath!

Mr. Jordan, are you okay?

Get off of him, Charles!

Bad dog! Git!

Pooch, stop it!

Get off of him before l cook you!

Come on, come on, baby.

Get out!

Good game.

Hey, Jeff, you okay?

-How was your game?

-l don't want to talk about it.

How are you?

You're covered with drool!

That's your dog.

What's wrong with Jeff?

He lost 32 points in his average.

ls that all?

So that puts him at .685 or something.

He's batting what?

Smells good in here. What you cooking?

Chicken.

Chicken and what?

Collard greens.

Good. l need a good meal tonight.

ls everything okay?

l stunk up the place.

Hope baseball was a good idea.

It was another career

day for Michael Jordan.

What're you watching?

He had 3 strikeouts.

ls this the only thing on TV?

What's up with this?

His batting average is .214,

which is his weight.

Get this guy a tennis racquet!

Did everyone get mad at you?

No. Worse.

They were nice about it.

I know golf is your sport.

But not here.

You should open your stance.

lt might make you more aggressive.

You think so? l'll remember that.

Watching this hurt me more than you.

Why are you watching this stuff?

lt's bad for you.

There.

Road Runner.

Stop this cartoon!

We've got an emergency Cartoon

Character Union Meeting to go to.

Hey, wait for me! Hold your horses!

Where'd they go?

Stop the music!

Top duck coming through!

Jeez! lt's getting so a guy can't

even get himself wet around here!

What's the big emergency?

These little guys would like to

make an announcement. Here.

You...

...all of you...

...are now our prisoners!

Oh, we're in big trouble now.

We are taking you to our

theme park in outer space.

No fooling.

You'll be our slaves.

And placed on display for the

amusement of our customers.

Oh, fear clutches my breast.

We ain't a-going...

...nowheres!

Not so fast, doc.

You just can't turn us into slaves.

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