Space Jam Page #2

That would be bad.

You must let us defend ourselves.

Oh, yeah? Who says?

Just a sec.

Read.

What's this?

''Give them a chance

to defend themselves.''

Do we have to?

lt's a rule.

Okay. lt is in the rule book.

Una momento!

We must confer.

All right, troops. lt is for us to

choose a battlefield that affords us--

l got it.

Yes, Private Porkster?

How about we challenge them to a...

...spelling bee?

Say...

...we could have a bowling tournament.

Suffering succotash!

What's wrong with you?

Let's get a ladder...

...wait till the old lady's gone...

...and grab that little bird!

Whoa! Take a deep breath, Sly!

Okay, let's analyze the competition.

Now what are we looking at here?

We got a small race of invading aliens....

Small arms! Short legs!

Not very fast.

Tiny little guys.

Can't jump high.

We challenge you to a basketball game.

Basketball it is!

Basketball!

What is basketball?

-What's that?

-Beats me.

We didn't have that in school.

Lights!

Pardon me! Sorry.

Down in front!

An exhilarating team sport currently

growing rapidly in popularity...

...is basketball.

Unlike football and baseball,

only 5 men can play on a team.

It's a fast-paced, razzle-dazzle

game that requires quick wits...

...and even faster reflexes.

Here's how it's done professionally.

The National Basketball Association...

...featuring the best players in the world.

The best players in the world!

The best!

Excuse me. Oh, so sorry.

Excuse me.

Get off my nose!

Quiet, they're looking!

lt's basketball!

Where?

Whoa! Now what?

-She's looking.

-Close it up.

Tightly.

You poked me again.

Sweetheart?

l thought you'd get better seats.

-This is the best l could get.

-This guy's doing something weird.

Just let me watch the game.

Barkley is killing us.

Someone's killing someone!

No. Seriously?

A killer!

Let me see!

There! That's the killer!

He's big.

He's good.

He's mine!

Go get him!

Come on! Get back on defense!

Let's go! Get back on d!

What are you doing?

Time out! Call time out!

What's wrong with you?

Let him in.

Open up!

Open!

He did it.

l got it! l got his talent!

Super.

-Sit down, Chuck.

-Man, l'm fine! l am fine!

l played you too much.

-l'm not tired!

-Get the doctor.

You all right?

You sure?

Come on, we're okay.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, Patrick. Showtime!

What's wrong with him?

In a shocking development, 5 NBA

players were put on the disabled list...

...in the last 24 hours, all suffering

from the same mysterious ailment...

...that affects the player's coordination.

l'll be home in a few days.

Put your mom on.

How you doing?

Watching TV?

What's going on?

-You gonna be all right?

-I'm ready, Coach.

Looks like l retired just in time.

l must go.

l'll call you later. Love you, bye.

lt's open!

lt's game time!

Lace up your Nikes.

Grab your Gatorade and we'll

get a Big Mac on the way.

Now we go to the Los Angeles Forum...

...where the Lakers are

refusing to take the court.

Get dressed.

We got a game in 5 minutes!

We're talking a huge fine.

We can't go in the locker room.

You heard what happened to

Barkley and Ewing. There's germs.

Cedric, that was in New York,

Bacteria travels faster

than the speed of light.

Like ''lnvasion of the Body Snatchers.''

All right.

Dress in the hallway.

Okay, okay, which one of you

maroons has ever played basketball?

l have, Coach.

And there's an important question

l must ask you.

What do you think?

l'm partial to purple and gold.

lt's better with my coloring.

Nice outfit, Daffy.

The little aliens say it's

their turn to use the court.

Sure, let the little pipsqueaks

knock themselves out.

Too bad you can't practice

getting taller, boys.

Hey, little pig!

l wet myself.

Time to play a little basketball.

These little pipsqueaks just

turned into superstars!

They're monsters!

Suffering succotash!

They're ''monstars''!

Bye-bye.

l think we might need some help.

Okay, little fella. You my friend?

Or my enemy?

You are my friend. You are my ally.

You are my associate,

my personal assistant.

You are my weapon. You are leaving.

-Great shot.

-Nice shot.

You can stop posing now.

Good try.

Not bad.

-Something for you to shoot at.

-Hit it good.

Do my best.

Good shot.

l know.

l must ask you something.

The NBA must face reality.

What's happening is serious.

They're going to need

new players with talent.

Skilled guys who never really

thought about a professional career.

Think l got a shot?

Come on, really?

Don't kid.

lt's a man's game.

-You can't play.

-What if l tried hard?

Keep it down.

lt's because l'm white.

No. Larry's white. So what?

Larry's not white. Larry's clear.

Get inside his ball!

You clowns can't beat that.

-My best shot ever.

-You haven't played long.

A Hall-of-Fame shot.

-Nice shot, Mr. Bird.

-Larry, please.

Nice shot, Mr. Larry.

Nice shot.

You can do this.

Don't be nervous, you can do this.

You feel the NBA has to face reality,

don't you?

Look for some players where

they never looked before.

Just look at the ball.

Visualize where you want it to go.

Be the ball.

Get off the tee.

Can't jump.

Go on.

Close to the pin?

For dinner?

-Sounds good.

-l'll go close to the pin.

l'll have some.

Not bad.

Good shot.

Get down.

Look at that spin.

Come on!

lt is alive!

My first hole in one.

Never seen one of these.

Nothing but the bottom of the cup.

-That's his ball too.

-Yeah, it's my ball.

Wait, let me get a picture!

You must smile.

Reach in for the ball and then smile, okay?

ls this good?

Just take the picture!

What kind of camera is that?

Don't point it at me.

-l didn't do anything!

-Where'd he go?

Look out for that first step,

doc, it's a real lulu.

Bugs Bunny?

You expected the Easter Bunny?

You're not real.

Not real? lf l weren't real, could l do this?

ls that Michael?

lt's Michael!

lt's Air Jordan.

Basketball!

l thought l saw....

l did. l did see Michael Jordan.

Pardon me, Mr. Jordan.

Can l have your auto--

Your John Hancock, please?

Let the doctor take a look.

A little high.

Going down!

So, what do you say we go for a little spin?

Let's see what we got inside here.

Say, ''Ahh.''

All right. He's okay!

What's going on here?

l thought you'd never ask.

These aliens from outer space want to

make us slaves in their theme park.

They're little. So we challenged

them to a basketball game.

Then, they ain't so little!

They're huge! We need to beat these guys.

They're talking about slavery!

They'll make us do stand-up,

the same jokes every night!

We'll be locked up like wild animals,

trotted out to perform...

...for a bunch of bug-eyed, fat-headed,

humor-challenged aliens!

What l'm trying to say is...

...we need your help!

l'm a baseball player now.

Right. And l'm a Shakespearean actor.

Mike?

Michael? lt's Stan.

Stan Podolak.

l need you to come out now, okay?

You got a baseball game tomorrow.

And I'd look pretty stupid

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