Spanish Movie

She's here.

She's arrived.

She's watching us.

Who are you?

Ramira, reporting for work.

The agency sent me

to look after the children.

Touchy, touchy!

Like she pisses perfume....

Don't you worry, ma'am.

I'm fine!

Damn!

You scared the sh*t out of me.

- You must be Simeon.

- Yes.

- The son, right?

- Yes.

Is that how you welcome me?

I almost broke

my neck.

It wasn't me.

It was probably my sister.

Right. You look very pale.

Did you eat spoiled yogurt

or something?

Come here, show me your tongue.

Open your mouth.

Stick it out.

I can't see a damn thing.

Simeon?

Don't open the windows.

Simeon!

It hurts, it really hurts...

Where is he?

Right f***ing here!

Why are you hiding in there?

I'm photosensitive.

I can't be exposed to sunlight.

Photo what?

Photosensitive!

You're just run down.

You could use some sunshine.

You need to get out more.

Let's go outside.

No! You don't understand!

Not the sun!

Don't, please! The sun!

Give me a break!

On the double, Barney Rubble!

You need some fresh air!

No!

I can't believe it!

Am I cured?

Mommy, Mommy! I'm cured!

Open up! Open up!

I have such a way with kids.

What an angel.

I won him over on my first day.

Simeon?

SUNSTOP:

Simeon, it's time for your medicine!

Simeon?

What's the game, son?

What have you done?

This one?

Which f***ing one is it?

Right.

How silly of me!

It was open.

Roberta, have you seen my son?

Simeon? No.

Let's get a few things straight,

Raimunda.

- Ramira.

- Ramona.

In this house we have rules,

understand?

Yes, ma'am.

Never open a door without

first closing the previous one.

We open windows on Mondays,

Wednesdays and Fridays.

If you want to open the fridge,

you have to fill out this form

and fax it to me.

These precautions are for my son.

He's photosensitive.

The tiniest ray of light

could make him

severely ill. Is that clear?

It's a bit chilly in here,

isn't it?

The heating doesn't work.

We have old-fashioned heating.

How does that work?

Isn't there a man around

to fix the?

A man?

I wish.

- But alas, my husband is at war.

- What war?

I'm alone, Bernarda, all alone.

So alone I could crap myself.

Well, I do have my children.

My precious children.

But I also need

the warmth of a man.

His strong arms around me,

that feeling of masculinity...

That's Ofendia, my daughter.

Forgive her, she's not very smart.

But she's exquisitely sensitive.

Oh, Diego.

Your strong arms around me,

pearls of sweat on your chest,

your firm hands stroking my body,

protecting me from this chill

in my bones

that suffocates me.

You said you were cold...

Right. By the way,

have you seen my son around?

Who? No. A boy? What's that?

Did you hear that?

Footsteps... upstairs.

Up there!

- What is that?

- A handle.

They're used for opening doors.

Open the damn door!

Yes, of course.

Hi. Is something wrong?

What was that noise?

What were you doing?

Sorry, I must have been

doing aerobics!

Palmira, this is my brother,

Pedro San Anton.

Don't be fooled. He says he can't

move, but I'm convinced he's lying.

He's just lazy.

Like a wave,

your love came into my life.

Like a wave,

with uncanny force,

white foam and the sound

of seashells.

Like a wave.

San Anton!

Have you seen Simeon?

I can't find him anywhere.

No, I haven't seen him...

Ramira.

Please don't go.

If you don't mind,

- I'd like to paint you.

- Me?

How sweet!

Okay.

- Now I'd like to paint your portrait.

- Of course.

Don't be long.

There are a lot of things to do

around the house.

It's ready.

Amazing!

You're a real artist!

No, no, no!

Everything I paint is crap!

There's an Irishman

who paints with his left foot

and a guy in Japan

who does landscapes

with the brush

on the end of his dick.

See? That was my life

before the accident.

How I miss adventure,

climbing mountains, sailing,

using the crosswalk.

I can't anymore. I'm paralyzed

from the double chin down.

You mean you really can't move?

You're not just being lazy

like Mom says?

Ofendia, hiding in my underwear

- drawer again?

- So you can't feel this?

No, sweetie.

What about this?

Nothing at all.

Kids!

Do you have children, Ramira?

No, not yet.

Are you single?

I might have a chance.

I'm sorry, you're too late.

I'm married.

You see? I can't do anything right.

My life is crap.

- Don't exaggerate.

- Look at me.

A woman like you comes into my life

and I haven't got a chance.

- Please, bring my pills.

- Your pills?

They're in my sister's room.

Bring all you can.

Ofelia, I told you

I can't feel anything.

A fairy!

I'll go and get your pills.

The ones with the skull

on the bottle.

You're beautiful.

Who are you?

I'm a fairy, dear child.

Great! Why are you here?

I'm on an important mission

from a wonderful fantasy world.

Do you want to help me?

No.

F***ing b*tch!

Monster!

F***!

Come here.

Now I'm going to introduce you

to your roommates.

Do whatever she says.

She's a f***ing wacko.

Really, Pedro...

What an interesting life

you've had.

And there's plenty more to come.

Pedro, say something.

You were so talkative

only a minute ago.

Pedro.

Pedro.

Pedro!

Another one went and died on me!

Raimunda?

I can't find Simeon anywhere.

I'm starting to worry.

Rigoberta?

Segismunda,

open the door!

Don't die on me!

My schedule is already full today!

Get up!

Open the door!

Filomena,

open the door!

What's going on?

What is this, a nightclub?

You're alive!

Thank God.

Holy sh*t!

I mean... jeepers.

I almost made it. I saw the light

in the tunnel and everything.

- What's going on here?

- He tried to kill himself!

Not that nonsense again!

Ignore him, he's a fraud.

Come on,

let's look for the boy.

If my heart...

If my heart...

... ever beats again.

... ever beats again.

I promise that it will...

You can count on it.

... with you.

Okay, listen up.

Your voice is better than yesterday.

But you, fairy.

Your choreography is awful.

Even so,

you touched my heart.

So I'll only fry

one of you.

Salutations, small mortal.

I see you've met my fairy.

Damn, you're ugly.

Watch out, master!

Beware! This girl is...

Who are you?

I have many names.

Old names.

Some call me Faun, others Pan,

others Goatpussy...

You look like a cross

between a shepherd and a goat.

- I need your help...

- Those noises.

Is that with your mouth?

Noises? What noises?

I have a message

from the future for...

That shake is cool.

Do it again.

Take me to Pedro San...

The shake. Do it again!

Let's stay focused,

nasty little one.

You have to take me

to Pedro San Anton...

What's that?

A talking goat.

Can I keep it?

If it doesn't crap on the floor.

Have you seen your brother around?

I can't find him anywhere.

Did you look in that little door?

He can't be far.

He'll turn up.

- Back off, fat ass!

- Ofendia!

Pay her no mind.

Your rear end is...

larger than a moment ago?

Yes, ma'am.

It's a very serious disease.

I've had several biographies done on me

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