Spanish Movie Page #2

and they say it's degenerative.

Your ass starts to swell

until it bursts.

Great.

And you die.

I'm sorry.

Holy sh*t, how lucky!

- I mean... jeepers.

- It's no big deal.

We're all dead anyway.

I told you not to say those things.

Mom, none of this is real.

We're all dead. You, me, Simeon...

Nobody here is dead,

especially your brother.

Well, he might be, right?

Who knows?

Maybe he just burst into flames

for no reason.

It happens. Plenty of people

die like that. Why don't you

- take a valium?

- Why don't you shut up?

- I don't know.

- And find my son.

It's his bedtime.

Okay.

Filthy mutt!

Antonio!

Hi.

Are you lounging on the sofa

as usual?

No, I'm just walking in the door.

I was out looking

for really hard work.

Liar! I'm watching you

on the split screen.

Look at me when I talk to you,

damn it!

Where are you?

Here, Antonio!

Honey, I'm in big trouble

and I need your help

or I'll get fired.

Call Jose and offer him

50 euros for a job.

Okay.

You really hammered me.

Did you break my horn?

- No, your horn is fine.

- Who am I again?

Jeeves. I'm the princess

and you're Jeeves, my butler.

I recall something about a mission

and being a faun...

Exactly. Your mission is to do

anything I say.

Next time you must address me

as your royal Highness

and bow at my feet.

I don't know if I can remember

all that.

- Your Highness.

- Your Highness.

Thank you, Jose.

You're a lifesaver.

Now lie down

and pretend you're asleep.

Did you find Simeon?

Yes, yes.

What an angel.

I just tucked him in.

Good. I'll say good night.

No!

No, leave him alone.

I mean, boys his age...

need a little more intimacy.

Intimacy?

How revolting!

At times like these

I miss my husband the most...

But he's not here.

So I'll have to talk to him myself.

Would you please step aside?

Simeon?

Simeon, sweetheart.

What are you doing?

Simeon.

Have I ever told you

about the birds and the bees?

It's a beautiful story.

Like when you were conceived.

It was so lovely, so beautiful.

Your father and I met

in a roadside bar.

I'd had a few cocktails.

Only fifteen or twenty.

And your father got a little

naughty.

I felt dizzy

and went to the bathroom.

He followed me

and grabbed me from behind,

propped me up against the wall

and wham, bam!

He humped my brains out.

But it was very tender,

very sweet.

Then he did me doggie-style

while he fondled my perky breasts.

Wham, bam!

In and out, on top, from behind...

And without lubricant!

And the result

of that night's love....

you.

Look at you now.

You remind me so much

of your father.

With that... scratchy beard.

What are you hiding in there?

What is this?

Playing with the flashlight again?

Oh my God!

Have I ever told you the story...

....about the old lighthouse?

It hasn't worked for years,

but you want to hear a secret?

They say it has an invisible light

that protects us all.

Now say your prayers

and go to sleep.

Ouch!

Make yourself at home.

Is this how poor people live?

We can't all have a mansion

like your mom's.

Why not move in with us?

Silly girl.

I can't. Who would take care

of my Antonio?

- Has he got your number?

- My number? No, no.

We're too poor.

I don't have a cell phone.

No, I mean like you

and my uncle San Anton.

You like each other.

I can tell.

What are you?

I love my husband, that's why

I married him. "Till death do us part."

That's how we'll do it then.

Till death does you part.

Where is my man?

My brave swordsman.

I'm waiting for you,

you're a sex machine.

Hello.

Can I help you, ma'am?

Of course you can help me.

I'm...

Excuse me.

No, I said quicklime. Quicklime.

Thank you.

Maligna Escobero,

from the Department of Rare....

Diseases.

How may I be of service?

Where's Simeon?

May I please see him?

I don't know.

Playing somewhere, I guess.

"Playing somewhere.''

Negligent f***ing putz.

Why do you want to see Simeon?

It's all right, I'll serve myself.

We've found out that there may be

a cure for his rare...

disease. And I have to ask him

these questions. For example:

Do you think the boy

would fit in this sack?

Does Simeon scream a lot?

Hold your cup closer, dear.

Children

are so naive,

so easy to deceive.

Scum-sucking bastards!

Like little Simeon.

His disease makes him especially

fragile. Now Simeon....

Filthy cocksuckers!

.... Could be outside, unprotected

from the sunlight.

His soft skin slowly sizzling,

with tiny bubbles of pus bursting,

screaming in pain...

Who are you?

Leave this house this instant

or I'm calling the police.

I...

I brought you

this system of protection

for sensitive skin.

You see?

Hello?

Ma'am?

Ma'am?

Freelancers must be very careful.

Their health and physical integrity

are of vital importance to their job.

They must always use their heads.

Five losers...

Iocked...

The door's locked!

We'll never get out of here!

... in a bar.

The moment I set foot in here...

I can't take it.

Winner of thirty-something

Goya Awards.

How long have we been in here?

I have no f***ing clue.

Including Best Wardrobe,

Best Special Effects,

Tremendous action,

love that comes...

He has red hair. He has no eyebrows

but he paints them on every morning.

You think you're better than me?

... and goes.

It doesn't matter, you can keep it.

I have X-Ray vision.

Comedy and melodrama.

Boozy Mondays.

- Give me another.

- Coming right up.

Another Spanish movie!

Is Antonio getting home soon?

I don't think so. He's looking for

work, the poor thing.

He's a sweetheart. You'll see when

you meet him. Such a hard worker.

Have you been drinking?

No.

Sure.

Antonio!

This is Ofendia,

my employer's daughter.

What's for dinner?

That's enough, okay, Antonio?

That's enough.

That's enough!

Ofendia, I lied.

My husband is a bum.

He's a couch potato.

He moves less than

your uncle San Anton.

What a temper!

I let her talk and shout

to get it out of her system,

you know?

Because I'm the one who wears

the pants in this family.

Oh, yeah?

You don't look like it.

You want proof?

Yeah, because I don't believe it.

Ramira!

My lunch!

Right now, I'm hungry!

You call that wearing the pants?

Ramira...

This is bullshit.

I'm the boss around here.

Either make me another plate

of spaghetti like this one...

or I'll...

or I'll smack you upside the head!

Ramira, I quit!

That house gives me the creeps!

Good! Now you and my uncle San Anton

can get married.

Pedro!

Like a wave,

your love came into my life.

Like a wave,

with uncanny force,

white foam and the sound

of seashells.

Like a wave.

And we sailed away, the sea inside,

heedless of the voices

in the wind.

Like a wave.

Your love grew

like a wave.

Pedro.

Pedro!

What is it, Ramira?

- I killed my husband.

- Then why?

Actually, I'm not sure.

Then why won't you kill me?

Squeeze tighter.

Squeeze, that's it.

I can hardly breathe.

That's it, tighter...

Holy sh*t!

I mean... jeepers.

I can't do it.

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