Sparrows Dance Page #3

That not so irrational,

that's quite nice.

"If someone would poke out

the eyes of hawks,

"us sparrows could dance

wherever we please!"

I feel that way sometimes.

Like, I wanna say to that part of

me that's sitting there judging,

"Hey, man, f*** off.

Give me a break.

"I'm trying to be a boy scout,

I'm trying to do my best here."

So, now, I got my first gig at the Village

Vanguard coming up next month.

I'm trying to convince myself

that I'm up to it.

I get...

I get bad

stage fright sometimes.

I used to take beta blockers,

but I didn't like the way they made me feel.

Do you like to dance?

I do, but I...

I don't really know how.

You don't know how to dance?

I don't know.

You don't know?

Maybe, I don't know.

I...

I love you

I need you

Your love is

oh, so heavenly

My darling, can't you see?

My heart skips

a crazy beat

When you're with me

Such warmth when your lips are touching mine

They're sweeter

Much sweeter than wine

I love you

I really do

Your love means

oh, so much to me

My darling, can't you see?

My heart pounds

just for you, my dear

Whenever, whenever

you're near

Sweet lover, oh,

always will be mine

Forever all the time

I love you

I need you

Thanks for

a lovely evening.

Thank you.

Maybe next time

we can go out somewhere.

Yeah, okay.

There's the ramen shop

downstairs

or I know some good

places around here.

Or we could go wherever.

Fine.

Yeah?

So I'm gonna see you again?

That's how this is

gonna go down?

I'd like that.

I'll just see myself

out of the bunker.

Mmm-hmm.

I like to get you on

a slow boat to China

All to myself alone

Out on the briny

With the moon

big and shiny

Melting your heart of stone

Oh, honey

I'd love to get you

On a slow boat to China

All to myself alone

Boom, boom shero

Boom, boom, shero, shero

Shero boom, boom, boom

Hello?

Oh, f***.

Yeah?

It's Wes. Are you there?

Yeah, I'm here.

Can I come up?

Well...

What's the problem?

No problem.

Am I interrupting something?

No. Sure.

Hello?

I'm in the kitchen.

Smoking again, I see.

You come up here

to lecture me?

What's your problem?

Do you not want me

to come over?

Well...

I called first,

you didn't answer.

I was, like, working

five blocks away

and I thought I'd stop by.

You can call in advance

instead of a second

before buzzing.

Well, I guess

I should go then.

Gee?

Fine. See you.

This wasn't a good idea.

What's that?

This... You and me,

this whole thing.

Oh, why is that?

Because I'm not

ready for it.

You seemed ready for it

the other night.

Did I presume too much

by coming over unannounced?

I've been thinking

about you all week.

I just wanted

to see you and say hi.

No, you don't understand.

I've been... I've been thinking

and I just don't think we should see each other again.

Why?

Because I've been thinking

of you all week, too.

That's good.

We've both been

thinking of each other.

And then

I got mad at you

I don't have a life so I was just waiting for you to call.

This is all horrible

and I don't wanna hate you.

Man, I wanted to call you,

but between work and practice and rehearsal...

Plus,

I figured you didn't want me to crowd you,

I figured you were busy

with your own job, too.

See, that's the thing.

I don't have a job.

It was all bullshit.

I was trying not to scare you away.

You don't have a job?

What do I care?

I'm not your

parole officer.

I don't care if you

have a job or not.

I just wanted to see you.

No, no.

Listen, I... I...

I haven't left this apartment in over a year.

What do you mean?

So you should go, please.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.

You mean you haven't left this

apartment in over a year literally?

Yeah, literally.

Not everything's a f***ing poem.

Even to go outside

for a walk?

No, not anymore,

not in a long time.

How about just around

the neighborhood?

Yeah!

F***, you want me to say it again?

I'm just trying

to get it straight.

Probably wanna

leave now, right?

No. Why?

Why would I wanna leave?

Now that you know I'm nutty.

You're not nutty.

You're just having a little

trouble leaving your apartment.

I have trouble with the full moon and the number six.

I don't care if you

didn't have any arms,

I just wanna

be around you.

Bullshit, I saw your face

putting it on me.

Forget my face...

Wait, so...

This is like a...

It's like a medical condition, right?

So what?

How do you get food?

I just order in, like the other night,

or the supermarket delivers.

I didn't know that.

Supermarket delivery?

Oh...

Oh.

Wait...

How do you have money

for your apartment?

And where's that

money come from?

Residuals.

Residuals?

Listen...

Oh, like for advertising,

that was true?

Mmm-hmm. Sort of.

I did a lot of stuff

as an actress.

An actress?

What?

This is terrible.

Wow.

This is terrible,

I'm sorry, you...

No, no, no.

I've been so selfish. Oh, sh*t.

What's the matter? This is...

I owe you an apology.

This is great.

It takes a lot of time to get your cards out on the table.

Yeah, it's very romantic,

very seductive.

Oh, I don't wanna

be seduced.

I wouldn't blame you if you didn't

wanna come around anymore.

I'll be coming around as much as you'll have me.

But you got to do me a favor.

Two favors.

What?

First, can I use your shower right now and clean off?

Yeah. Yes. And?

And that gig at the Vanguard is coming up.

You got to make your best effort

to be there on the first night.

It would mean a lot to me,

just you out there in the dark.

I just... I just...

I just told you.

I know what you said

and I get it.

But when people believe in boundaries,

they become a part of them.

Just got to promise me

your best effort.

Best effort

to come to the gig.

Fine, but I seriously doubt...

I know.

It's okay.

We'll see.

Who knows?

Maybe you just need a special occasion

to leave

the apartment for.

Yeah, right.

Special occasion, sure.

You're about to burn your fingers there, madam.

I'm relieved right now.

For a minute there,

I thought that you

didn't desire to see me.

Oh, I do.

That's the problem.

That's a decent

problem to have.

You have dinner?

No, I haven't.

You like Chinese food?

Yeah.

There's a menu by the couch.

No, wait.

I just wanna hold you

for a second longer.

Hey.

You ever go

to sleepaway camp?

I was just laying here,

I was thinking about sleepaway camp.

And talking

excitedly in the dark.

And bunks,

and counselors telling you,

"Shut up."

I figure it was troublemaking,

it had to be.

We'd sleep,

and on the last day,

we'd put underwear on our heads

and climb out of

the bathroom window

and then make

a prison breakout

for the girls' cabins,

you know.

Did you ever go?

Yeah, I went.

Where? What camp?

Camp Robin Hood

in Maine.

I hated my parents

for making me go.

But I ended up having the time of my life.

Camp Robin Hood.

That's where I had

my first bad crush.

Hmm. Well...

What was his name?

Eddie. Eddie Radley.

Eddie Boo Radley.

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