Speed 2: Cruise Control

(motorcycle engine roaring)

(tyres screeching)

He's on the way, Mack.

- (Alex) I'll drop him right in your lap.

- We're all set up.

Alex, everything by the book.

No stunts and no wrecks today, all right?

(truck horn)

Oh, sh*t!

It's little things I'm trying to get used to.

Like, if I drop my napkin

out in a restaurant, Alex gives me his.

Car door needs opening, he opens it.

My neighbour's abusive? He yells at 'em.

The other night, we were watching a video,

he let me pick it out.

D-Do you want to slowly merge into...

- Signal first!

- (car horns)

Too late. OK.

- That's good.

- All right.

My last boyfriend wasn't the romantic type.

Two years ago, for my birthday,

he gives me pepper spray.

I think it's perfume.

I end up in the emergency room.

Relationships based on

extreme circumstances never work out.

Right.

- Right?

- No!

Watch the glass!

(horn)

Your boyfriend drive like this?

Oh, Alex? No. No, no, no.

Alex is so completely different.

(Annie) He works... he works beach patrol.

He spends all day on a bicycle in Venice.

Sh*t.

(Annie)

I'm sure he's on the beach right now.

That's how we met, by the way.

I was jaywalking.

Jaywalking, huh?

Well, jaywalking is a crime.

Yeah, but I needed to get across

and at the point...

Dip!

(Annie) Ow.

Another dip!

(thud)

Oh! Aagh!

Two dips.

- It's our seven-month anniversary tonight.

- (sirens)

Neither of us has ever dated longer.

Why don't you slow down...

...and tell me your problem, huh? Good.

Uh, make a left here.

Uh, turn, signal! Easy!

(sirens)

Sh*t!

Miss, pull over to the side, please.

(offcer)

Move over to the side, please!

- Side.

- I can't! There's a cliff!

(Mack) On my command!

Sh*t!

Hold your fire, he's too far!

Everybody in the car!

(man groaning)

You're under arrest.

You have the right to remain silent.

Ow. That hurt.

(offcer) Pull over to the side.

- I can't!

- Stop right here.

This is absolutely not my fault, Mr Kenter.

I need my licence back.

Oh, my God.

What? What?

Stop! Stop!

(approaching sirens)

You'll never drive in this town again.

(Annie) Alex?

Annie.

What... What happened? What...?

- How'd the driving test go?

- Oh, it, uh...

Not good. Not good.

Um, why aren't you... at the beach?

You know, it's funny. There's this...

...perfectly...

...reasonable explanation...

- You're a madman, Shaw!

Nice working with you, as always.

They've apprehended

one of the suspects...

...thanks mainly

to SWAT member Alex Shaw...

...who was the officer injured

in today's chase.

- You lied to me.

- I didn't lie about...

You never said

you were on the suicide squad.

You knew I was a cop. I said that I was...

Wait.

Oh, come on. Ow.

When I told you about Jack

and how he was always getting hurt...

...and how I would never date

anybody like that again...

...you didn't think, "Maybe I should tell her

what I do for a living"?

Exactly. And blow it?

- When were you gonna tell me?

- Well, today.

Oh, today?

Yeah, today was the day.

You know what I pictured you doing

in Venice? I pictured you...

...busting teenage pickpockets...

...walking old women across the street,

drinking lemonade.

I do fill in for a friend

at the beach occasionally.

And I often, often

enjoy a nice glass of lemonade.

You know what?

I feel I don't even know you.

I don't know who you are any more.

I don't understand.

We got to spend some time together,

then we'll get to know each other.

- Let's go away together.

- OK, where?

The Caribbean.

Oh, the Caribbean.

Do you have a concussion?

We work six days a week, Alex.

We've never even been away

for a... a weekend.

I was going to surprise you tonight,

but, uh...

It's a cruise.

This is so unfair, Alex.

You can't pull out tickets

to some exotic island...

...and think that'll make everything OK.

I don't expect that I can make it all right,

but, maybe I thought we could.

No. Don't do that.

I wanna be depressed.

I don't want you to do that.

Don't!

All right, all right.

(sighs)

- Don't.

- I won't.

(ship's horn)

(man) Welcome to the Seabourn Legend.

Thank you. Welcome.

Oh, now, this is a cute couple.

How about a picture? Don't move!

- What are your names?

- Annie and Alex.

My name's Dante.

- A big smile for the newlyweds?

- (both) Actually, we're not newlyweds.

Only $34.50 for a double set of mugs, and if

you don't like them, you get a photo credit.

Welcome to paradise,

and the name's Dante!

This ship has five passenger decks...

...A, B, C, D, E.

You're on deck C.

There's a swimming pool,

a health spa, a beauty salon, a casino...

Hey. Excuse me.

Sir?

I'm a little upset.

My golf clubs - have you found them?

Yes. They're downstairs in storage

and I'll bring them up...

...as soon as I get

this lovely couple to their cabin.

These are the coordinates

for the first leg, Captain.

Thank you.

Thruster is in.

- All engines on stand-by.

- Let's take her out, then.

(ship's horn)

Welcome to your suite.

Believe me, you'll be sorry to leave room

6088, your happy and humble home.

If you need anything, you just call Ashton.

And let me thank you both

in advance for the generous gratuity...

...I know you'll be leaving me

at the end of this cruise.

- Just kidding.

- But not really.

Oh. And, you two, have a nice honeymoon.

(both) Oh, we're... we're not...

...not married.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Big enough for you?

- Size doesn't matter. You know that.

Yes!

All of a sudden,

I have Love Boat fever.

It feels really good.

I am really excited

about being on a cruise ship.

I don't know why.

Maybe they pump drugs

through the air-conditioning system.

What do you think?

You know what I need?

Lots of those yummy little drinks...

...with those

highly impractical umbrellas in 'em.

That is what I need.

Yeah, you're looking good.

So, who's ready to party

on the big boat besides me?

You look tense.

Tense? No. We're here to relax.

- Let's get a drink.

- Let's go.

We're going to have a really good time.

# A Namorada

Yeah!

Love it!

Thank you.

See you later. Bye.

So, what do you want to do?

Do you want to shuffleboard,

then room or... room, then shuffleboard?

Or hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm?

Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

Room, room.

OK.

If it's all right with your new boyfriend

over there. Romeo.

His name's Geiger.

- Oh?

- Yes. Yes, we talked.

Not very interested in golf

for someone who had a fit about his clubs.

- Why do you say that?

- Well...

...the tournament's on behind him.

He hasn't even glanced at the TV.

You're absolutely right. I think

we need to arrest him. Excuse me!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Aw, honey, you just wanted a hug.

You're so sweet.

I got to ask you to do me a favour...

...something I've never

asked you to do before.

What's that?

- I need you to boogie with me.

- Oh, no, I don't boogie.

Just run in place. Run in place.

- Do you feel it?

- Yeah, I think so.

Come on, baby.

# A Namorada

(ship's horn)

Wake up, boys.

See, the misconception is that fat is bad.

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