Speed 2: Cruise Control Page #2

In order to lose fat, you shouldn't eat fat.

Well, guess what, guys?

False. Your body's just a giant computer.

Mm. See, if you don't eat fat...

...your body's mainframe goes, whoa!

Whoa!

Better keep whatever fat I've got.

So you see, we at Fatbusters...

...well, we say fat is your friend.

Oh, yeah, a good friend, yeah.

I could use a good friend.

Yeah? Here, meet this guy.

- Mmm.

- Good.

There you go.

# Take my whole life, too

# I can't help

# Falling in love with you #

Ladies and gentlemen...

...I have a question.

Who here would like a peek...

...at a multimillion-dollar

jewellery collection?

(applause)

OK. On board, we have the Diamond

Jewellers Of America with us tonight.

They would like to show you something.

Maybe we should get you a little something.

I'll take a Camel unfiltered.

Aren't you wearing the nicotine patch?

The only way that patch is gonna help me...

...is if I roll it and smoke it.

Good evening.

Big diamond.

# She touches me

in places that I can't explain

# She's got a powerful hold on me

# The kind of pull

from which I'll never struggle free

# Tell me what to do, tell me is it true

# Do you really love me, girl,

like I love you?

# Everything I say, everything I do...

Don't bunny-hop.

That's impressive.

I wanted to learn another language.

Her name is Drew.

She wants to know if you're my sister.

Oh.

Let her down easy.

She says you're very beautiful and...

...our kids will be very beautiful.

Thank you.

Uh, can you picture me as a mum?

I think you'd make a beautiful mother.

Just, uh, don't drive the carpool.

Jeez. Kids... I don't know.

What, kids aren't on the menu?

Uh, kids are on the menu.

It just depends on who's ordering.

- I love it. It's beautiful.

- You're beautiful.

That'll make a great picture.

Hold on. Let me get this one.

- Look.

- Look.

So, can I order la carte?

I don't know if you're sittin' in my section.

I requested this table.

Are you a good tipper?

Hmm. Depends on the service.

It's always service with a smile for you.

How about at every meal?

You getting serious right now?

Well...

- Yeah, I...

- Wow.

I mean...

...wow.

I just, you know, the other day...

...I just found out I'm dating a daredevil...

...so this is like, you know...

Oh, you're not serious.

You're not.

(laughing)

- Hello?

- Annie?

What?

I'm, uh, I'm a little seasick.

Huh? OK.

Let's go.

(alarm)

(men yelling)

(man) I'll get the main valve!

- Thank you.

- You're welcome, sir.

I'm sorry, sir. You can't be here right now.

I must be lost.

I saw the lights,

thought this was the casino.

(man) Uh, sir, please don't touch those!

Sure could use a drink.

Any of you gambling men?

- Uh!

- Sir!

Help the gentleman up, please.

OK, sir, come on.

Let's get him up.

Sir, may we assist you

to help find your cabin?

Oh, no. I know where it is.

I... I know when I'm not wanted.

You guys just...

...watch where you're going.

We'll do just that.

Goodnight, sir.

Listen, let's get you back to your room.

Goodnight.

(receiver) Satellite looks good, sir.

We should have

smooth sailing for the rest of the night.

OK, switch us back to autopilot.

Switching over now, sir.

That's right.

Switch us over.

(TV) You never let me have any fun.

No fun? You have all the fun in the world.

We have fun together, don't we?

Whenever you want something,

I buy it for you automatically.

I take you to concerts, museums, movies.

I do all the housework.

Who does the tidying up? I do.

Who does the cooking? I do.

You and I, we have lots of fun.

Don't we, Lolita?

Come here.

(woman singing opera)

Time for group therapy, boys.

Oh. I wouldn't trade you...

...for all the doctors in the world.

Mmm...

...you take care of me...

...l'll take care of the ship.

(gun fres)

(gun fring)

Mm!

Alex? (coughs)

Annie, Annie.

I've been looking all over the ship for you.

Maybe you should have looked in bed,

where you left me.

You looked so beautiful, I didn't, uh...

...want to wake you up.

Yeah, beautiful woman in bed, naked -

...you had to leave. I get that.

So where were you?

- Skeet shooting.

- Skeet shooting?

You went skeet shooting, but you couldn't...

Is that our song?

...take one day not to go shooting?

I wish they'd play that over and over again.

I need a little fresh air...

...after an evening tied as one

of the most embarrassing of my adult life.

Oh... if you want me to be honest...

...I kind of like the fact that you got sick.

Well...

...don't quite know how to respond to that.

Well, all I'm saying is

that I just like taking care of you, that's all.

And what I said when

you were joking about that kid thing...

...for a second,

I thought you were completely serious.

I thought

you were actually gonna ask, you know...

...and last night,

when you were basically blacked out...

...I was like, he's a cop, and...

...you don't even know his cop number.

My badge number?

Badge number, see?

I don't even know what it's called.

What does my badge number

have to do with anything?

Well, the point is...

is that if you look at it...

...we basically don't...

don't even know each other.

And...

Um...

To get that serious and...

...to make that kind of commitment,

I mean...

...it's probably the last thing that...

...that we both need right now, right?

Yeah.

(PA) Attention.

If you would like to reserve water skis...

...paddle boats, jet skis,

or wave runners for use...

...while we're docked

at one of our upcoming ports...

Did you feel

we were underdressed last night?

What's this?

Excuse me. I do believe

I had the Do Not Disturb sign on the door.

Actually, it was Make Up Room, Please.

Maybe... maybe you flipped the card.

Maybe I flipped the card.

Let's not split hairs.

(thunder)

(man) Captain on the bridge.

What's wrong, Merced?

I'm late for my guests.

Uh, yeah, I can't explain it, sir.

We're four degrees off course.

Well, switch us back to manual, then.

We tried, sir. The autopilot won't go down.

Well, try again.

I did.

I sent an engineer to check the mainframe.

It's all normal.

I sent Eric to run a mainframe diagnostic.

Everything seems normal.

Human error.

Must be human error.

Keep an eye on it.

Yes, sir.

# Every move you make

(knock on door)

# Every vow you break

# Every step you take

# I'll be watching you

They were out of size 10s.

You know,

I told them size didn't matter, but, uh...

...they wouldn't give them to me.

- One more thing.

- What?

I'd like to boogie with you.

We're still four degrees off course.

Did you check the mainframe, Eric?

Captain Pollard, good evening.

How can you be running the ship...

...if you're not on the bridge?

Who is running the ship?

Oh, yeah. I am.

What is this? Who are you?

I spent a great many years

developing computer systems...

...for these cruise liners,

including this baby.

And then I got pushed away!

What are you talking about?

That's what really infuriates me.

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