Spent Page #3

Synopsis: Poor Herbert...if only the brain tumor had killed him... A charming dark comedy with a vintage vibe. A wife and son live it up while their miser-rat of a husband/father lies in a hospital bed--death by brain tumor imminent. It's all fun and games until he experiences a miraculous 4th of July recovery.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Lisa Mikitarian
Production: Rump Roast Productions
 
IMDB:
4.5
Year:
2017
100 min
61 Views


all this time we're spending together?

If you noticed,

I splurged on a second

box of kung pao chicken.

- We were supposed to go out, Herbert

to an air conditioned restaurant.

- Out?

When we can be here

in the comfort of our own home

with all of this.

And don't think I didn't notice

that you all had the air on either.

But it's back to normal now.

That hospital was frigid.

I can't imagine what their

electric bill comes to.

Just about got a sinus infection.

It's a good thing I got better when I did.

- What would we ever do without you dad.

(soft musical ring tone)

- (sighing) Evelyn.

- [Evelyn] Of course it's

Evelyn who else would it be?

How many women have you phone number?

- Three, but two are related to me.

- Sorry, Gregory.

I'm not even making any sense.

It's because

something has gone terribly wrong.

The hospital waiting room doctor came in,

and then 40% off Chinese food

and hospital slippers.

- Evelyn, stop.

You're really not making any sense.

- I'm sorry, Gregory.

It's just because there's

no sense to be made.

No sense at all.

- Just (sighing)

Just meet me at the

usual place in an hour.

I promise everything will work out okay.

Okay?

- Okay.

Okay.

I'll meet you there.

- Please, please, please,

please, please pick up.

Why aren't you picking up?

Why aren't you picking up, Margot?

Please pick up, please, please, please.

You picked up.

- [Margot] Yes, unfortunately I did.

What do you need?

- It's over.

All of our dreams are over, Margot.

- What do you mean?

- [Herbert] Hey, we have enough leftovers

for dinner tomorrow night.

It's our lucky day (laughing).

- Can't talk here.

We have to meet and for heavens sake

let's make sure it's someplace cool.

- You are not getting in my bed, Lonnie.

Stop asking.

- Cut it out this is important.

- Alright fine.

We'll meet.

Meet me where you first met me.

You remember where that is don't you?

- [Lonnie] Of course.

- Good then I'll see you there

in how ever long it takes me to get ready.

- [Joe] Order up.

(soft jazz music)

- I took the liberty

of ordering you a beer,

but it looks like you could

use a tranquilizer dart.

What's so terribly wrong?

- This is serious, Margot,

and it effects you too.

- Nobody could've foreseen this.

- What?

What is it?

- But it's the reality

we'll have to deal with.

- What is it?

- The doctor called it

a 4th of July miracle.

But really it's a--

- Disaster for my independence.

- Would you please just tell

me what is going on here?

- Herb isn't dead nor

will he be anytime soon.

- My dad's brain tumor disappeared faster

than a BMW on the auto bond.

There go my plans.

There go my dreams.

I was gonna open up something

I don't know a business or something.

I didn't get two minutes

to think about it.

- He'll out live me I know he will.

There never will be any white

sand wedge between my toes

or warm turquoise waters

caressing my shoulders.

Living with him was hard enough before,

but now after having

tasted of you, Gregory,

of love

- [Joe] I said order up 10 times.

How many more times do

I gotta say order up?

- [Waitress] Reign your

(mumbling) in, Joe.

I've only got two hands.

- I just can't go back to that life.

He doesn't love me not really

not like he loves his money.

- Get yourself together woman.

There must be some mistake.

That tumor was the size

of a Granny Smith apple.

Something like that can't just disappear.

- On the contrary apparently it can.

- Evelyn,

we've come too far.

- We've got dreams yet

to dream you and me.

- Which is why this little miracle--

- Is going to be turned into a tragedy.

(soft squeaking)

- Hey, Josepe you might wanna

put out some more poison

if you wanna get rid of the big rat.

- [Joe] Hey, don't Josepe

me or I'll Josepe you.

I'll take care of it after we close.

- Better put out one of

them industrial boxes.

- I gotta go, Gregory

before Herb gets suspicious.

Buying day old bread

can only take so long.

- Margot, I'm too tired to think

about this anymore tonight.

- Evelyn, you heard the waitress.

We have a rat

and that rat needs to go.

You know what you have to do.

Call me when it's over.

- You've got to keep your

head in the game, Lonnie.

You heard the waitress.

Rat poison there's no other way.

- I don't know.

(Margot sighing)

- Go on home, Lonnie.

Get your beauty sleep.

- Rat poison you buy it at the drugstore.

It's the only way you

and I can have a future.

(soft music)

(soft sultry music)

- Phlopsey's.

- It was my mother's shop.

God rest her soul.

- So she just gave it to you?

- But why talk about her.

I want to talk about this

beautiful swan like neck

and how it cries out for diamonds

to encircle its elegant circumference.

- Well, I wanna talk

about these shoulders,

these arms, these hands.

They should be gripped around

a leather stirring wheel

with cruise control that

tilts in every direction.

- After you.

(soft jazz music)

- I did not know that

water came in that color.

Trip like that probably cost a fortune.

(paper ripping)

(birds squawking)

(dramatic music)

Okay.

Two points (laughing).

She must have won you at bingo.

(dramatic music)

(Herbert laughing)

- Herb.

Herbert,

where are you?

(water splashing)

(dramatic music)

Herbert.

(Herbert singing faintly)

- Hi, when did you get home?

- Why didn't you answer me?

Go back in there get ready for bed.

(loud banging)

Herbert, I can explain.

- There's no need to explain, darling.

You were just simply checking our assets

making sure that everything was right.

I'm glad you were able

to get along so well

when you were alone.

- Well, I have had Lonnie.

- Hey, did you catch the Cubs last night?

Whoo-hoo.

- You know he's not as incompetent

as you make him out to be.

- Well, he's certainly not

a chip off of this old block

if only he were.

- [Evelyn] You two have more

in common than you know.

And he is plenty capable.

- Sure, he's 23 years old.

He still lives at home because what?

They won't pay him what he's really worth

at the movie theater.

That's no reason to

question his competence.

- [Evelyn] Don't be cheeky.

- [Herbert] Me cheeky.

- Yes, you.

You know you should've encouraged him more

when it came to going to college.

- I did encourage him.

- You tried to strong arm him

into being a Phoenix graduate

so you could save a buck.

- It's a legitimate school.

- Not for a musical theater major.

Okay, look what we've done for him?

Zip, zero.

We named the poor boy Lonnie

after your grandfather for Pete's sake.

He deserved more from us

if only to make up for that.

- What we should've named him

after one of your crazy

Hungarian relatives.

- How many times do I have to tell you

they're not Hungarian.

- Besides

he's already accomplished

half of his life's goals.

He works in the movie theater, doesn't he?

- You are impossible, Herbert.

You are never gonna change.

You could've done so

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Lisa Mikitarian

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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