Spike Island Page #6

- I can.

- There's got to be a f***-up.

Yeah, there is. He's called Ste.

- Hands in the air, put your tickets up.

- So what are we gonna do now, then, Tits?

Get in.

Let's just f***ing rush it, man.

Yeah? On my count, right.

One, two...

Three. For f***'s sake,

who runs on "two"?

No one runs on "two".

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

They're charging, Dave!

Get out! Go on! And you!

And you, Granddad, get off!

Get back!

This is our bridge!

F***ing hippies.

Let that be a lesson to all of you.

- Yes!

- Here we go!

- Liverpool 2, Man U...

- Nil!

Have it!

What d'you reckon?

I'm not f***ing swimming in that. No.

I wonder what time it is.

We've got to meet the girls.

Nearly 3:
45.

What the f*** was that?

Some sort of animal?

Here y'are, lads,

d'you wanna buy a dinghy ride?

- What did he just say?

- F*** knows.

"Dez-a-by-diggy-bat"?

D'yous wanna buy a dinghy ride?

I'm still not getting it.

Soz, mate, it's just white noise.

Oh, for f***'s sake.

Oh! Do we want to buy a dinghy?

A dinghy ride! I row yous!

- Where's your oars?

- Side of me head!

- No, you're all right, mate.

- Let's just do one.

- Do yous want to buy a dinghy ride?

- What?

- He'll row you. For cash. With no oars.

- Sound!

- How much?

- Fiver each.

- Here.

- It's right.

Oh, mate, I'm watching this!

Come on, come on, hurry up! Hurry up!

Would you get in a boat

with this prick?

- Easy! Easy!

- Wouldn't even get in a lift with him.

I'm the captain on this ship.

Just don't do nothing. Leave it to me.

Ah! It's going to tip if you do that.

...Can't swim!

We should probably get back

to the main gate, you know.

Penfold might be waiting for us.

Might even see the girls turn up.

Or Ibiza Ste.

Oh, here we go, look who it is.

All right, Tits?

All right, Dave Famous?

- Got tickets?

- Have you?

Have you?

- No, neither have we.

- Supposed to be on the list, but...

So were we, but...

Listen, Dave, let's cut the bollocks, yeah?

We all know you think

we're sh*t d*ckheads, yeah?

Well, we think you're double sh*t d*ckheads.

But we're both bang into the Roses, so...

If one of us spots a jib, we should

probably give each other a shout or summat.

- All right, sound.

- Sound. In a bit.

In bits.

State of that tracksuit.

He looks like a f***ing Smurf!

Come on, hurry up.

I could see right up her skirt then.

Do you know what I wish?

We had a Motorola.

Then we could ring Ste.

Or the girls, but they'd

have to have one, too.

Do you know what I wish?

Go ahead, it's getting good, this game.

You'd sorted it out with your kid properly

last night, Tits,

instead of getting f***ing caned

or whatever you did.

Shall I tell you what I

done last night, Dodge?

What?

I sat with me mam, waiting

for me dad to die.

Yeah, I sat with me mam, and waited

for my useless prick of a brother

to sort out leaving a f***ing pub

and come to the hospital.

But he never managed that. So shut the

f*** up about him sorting us out.

The guy's a dick,

and you're doing me f***ing head in.

But you told me he was all right,

you told me he was getting better.

This isn't f***ing about you, Dodge.

What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing. I...

I just mean we come here

for one f***ing reason, right?

To see The Stone Roses,

so can we please stop pissing

and moaning and get on

with trying to get in.

Oi, Tits!

Tits! Listen, man!

Tits!

- Are you all right?

- No, not really.

I've just been

wandering around on my own like a lemon.

I lost the girls coming over the bridge.

Why didn't you just go in?

What? I don't know.

There's, like, 20-odd thousand heads

in there and...

I had a quarter of an acid on the train

and I got a bit para.

You said you'd be there.

Left-hand side of the stage.

Yeah, but it doesn't matter anyway,

I can just come in with yous lot.

If that's all right?

We still haven't got tickets.

Oh, sh*t!

Yeah. Sh*t.

Well, I am not going in there on my own.

What? You'll miss the Roses?

Well, one of yous lot could have my ticket.

- I'll have it.

- Behave.

What? I said it first.

Shouldn't we toss a coin

or have an arm-wrestle or summat?

It's about the music, innit?

I'm the only one that understands it.

Come on, Tits, you know how much

this means to me, man.

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

There you are.

Nice one.

Right then, see you after here, yeah?

Mate! Dodge!

Take this with you.

What? Why? You said you'd do it.

You're the one who's going in, aren't you?

Yeah, but I'm not gonna get in backstage

on my own, am I, without you?

Yeah, well, get down the front, then, Dodge.

Just lob it at Ian or John.

I'd mong it into the mud.

You're a miles better thrower than me.

But I'm not going to hit

the f***ing stage from out here, am I?

It'll be right. You'll get in. You keep it.

You know I'd f*** it up.

Listen, if you do get in,

meet me at the sound desk.

If not, I'll see you back after here, yeah?

Yeah.

Don't go f***ing off without me.

Right, mate.

Sorted.

Yeah, mate, sorted as f***.

Is, um... Is my make-up run?

- Just a smidge.

I must look like a right dog.

No, you don't. Like a really pretty panda.

Oi, Dave Famous! What are you saying?

- What are you saying?

- Let's not do this again. I can't be arsed.

Some kid just said

a mob have flattened the vehicle gate.

You can get across the bridge to them

fields next to the fence. In a bit!

Hey, up you get!

Tell you what,

I could do with a massive disco sh*t.

Oh, that's hanging.

Soz, but it's all

the whizz and excitement.

Whoa! Watch your three-stripes there.

It's probably radioactive.

- All right? Go on.

- Yeah.

- You up?

- Yeah.

- F***!

- Sh*t!

How thick do you think it is?

Don't know.

What are we gonna do now?

For f***'s sake. I don't have a clue.

Little cock-knockers!

What? Can you see owt?

No...

We'll still be able to hear it,

though, won't we?

It's a f***ing nightmare, isn't it?

And as the sun went down

over the chemical plant,

the wind was blowing the sound

from inside the site in waves,

washing over us,

then f***ing off down the estuary.

With Penfold missing in action,

and Dodge doing what he'd done,

we were suddenly two men down.

But we were one girl up.

And it was funny, man, because it had

always been about me and Dodge.

We'd always been on our own journey,

ever since we were nippers.

F***ing Batman and Robin,

you know what I mean?

But it wasn't just a massive f***-off

metal green fence that had come between us.

I was on a different trip now.

The night was beautiful, special.

So was Sally Harris.

- And then we heard it.

The roar of cheers that told us

the Roses had walked on stage,

and the rumble of Mani's bass.

The greatest party in the history of

the world, and we weren't invited.

The Stone Roses

are on the other side of that wall.

Wish I were 10 feet taller.

Look, Gaz, give us a peg up.

I don't have to sell my soul

He's already in me

Yeah!

- Can you see?

- Yeah, mate!

- Is it top?

- Yeah, mate!

I wanna be adored

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