Spike Island Page #7

You adore me

You adore me

You adore me

- Can we swap?

- No, mate.

Hell, mate.

- Keep still!

- I can't! I'm off me tits!

Come here, you clown!

You mad bastard.

I wanna be adored

Yeah, mate!

I'm gonna say something.

He's taking the piss.

- Out of who?

- Dodge.

Are you being serious?

Yeah. He's supposed to be his best mate.

He is. Why do you think

he's never done it before, you clown?

- What?

- You must be f***ing blind.

What's the matter?

Nothing. Dodge.

You do know you just

called me Dodge. That explains everything.

No, I mean...

Dodge is into you.

What?

He's...

He's never even spoke to me until tonight.

Yeah, I know. But I'm being serious.

He has been since we were little kids.

Right.

Sh*t. Okay.

What? And you haven't?

Zippy, Tits and Sally

was always gonna happen.

It's only right that it's here, now.

Straight up?

Straight back down again.

I remember you kissed me in the playground

at Grey Bank Primary.

- It made me feel double sick.

I never even noticed your hair then.

I had no idea I'd end up...

dancing with you.

No one f***ing told me then that your hand

had been made just spot on to fit in mine.

Your laugh used to really annoy me.

Now it makes me feel like skinning up.

I should have just kissed you back then.

Would have made all this miles easier.

All what?

I'm f***ing bananas about you.

What's happening?

The wind's changed direction.

- F*** me!

- Get on that!

...and I can't sleep at night

Your face, it has no place

No room for you inside my house

I need to be alone

Don't waste your words

I don't need anything from you

I don't care where you've been

or what you plan to do

Turn, turn, I wish you'd learn

There's a time and place for everything

I've got to get it through

Don't waste your words

I don't need anything from you

I don't care where you've been

or what you plan to do

I am the resurrection and I am the light

I couldn't ever bring myself

to hate you as I'd like

The sound was shite.

It just kept blowing away in the wind.

It was blowing it in here.

You should've heard Resurrection.

I did. I was here for all of it.

Aye, aye!

- Uncle Hairy?

- The very same.

You all right?

Literally never felt better.

- You're covered in blood.

- Yeah, I know.

It's not mine.

Got booted out, early doors, for fighting.

Best day of my life.

- Are they my clothes?

- Yeah.

You getting in the van?

- What van?

- That f***er.

- Some c*nt nicked mine.

All right, space travellers!

How f***ing good was that?

Oh, yeah. Top. Never got in.

Did you go to the VIP gate?

You was down on the VIP gate.

How's me dad?

That Penfold kid

tell you to meet us here, or what?

Penfold? We lost him hours ago.

He were bowling round back stage,

piss-wet through.

He'd only swum the f***ing Mersey.

The kid's a legend.

All aboard!

Manchester, la la la!

Over here.

Nice one, mate.

Don't worry about him.

The guy's a f***ing dick.

Yeah.

Go on, Dodge! Shadow Caster!

Go on, Dodge, give it some!

Yeah!

Come on, then!

Oh, f***ing here he is!

All right, lads? What's shaking?

All right?

What the f*** happened to you, Keith Teeth?

I done a sicky burp.

No, I mean with the tickets,

you massive Joey Deacon.

What are you on about? I give them

to him for yous, yesterday dinner.

- Who?

- Him. F***ing Harry Handsome.

What's up with you? Are you having

some sort of seizure or summat?

- Gary, I...

- Don't f***ing bother. C*nt.

- What did you just call me?

- You heard me. I called you a c*nt.

Oops. Major buzz-kill.

Here y'are, lads, leave it out.

For f***'s sake, know what I mean?

If Eric could see yous both now.

Does anyone fancy double dropping?

Yeah, all right, yeah.

- Lads, don't do this, not now.

- Stay out of it, Carlos.

I'd listen to him if I were you, Gary.

Before I bend your bones.

Haven't you hurt him enough?

You're his brother.

- Wind your neck in, little girl.

- Lads, seriously. Look, Tits, yeah?

See that straight goer over there

with the shite hair?

- Yeah, what about him?

- He's the Roses' manager.

- That's the Roses' manager?

- Yeah.

- He looks like a f***ing hairdresser.

- He looks like a dick.

He is. Both.

Shut up, Ste.

Mover's on guitars, Ballbag keys,

Two Socks drums...

Give him the tape, Tits.

Give him the f***ing tape. Demo him up.

Excuse me.

- So what did you say you were called again?

- The Palaver.

- Cool name.

- Yeah.

Really cool.

- Yeah. I thought of it myself.

- So, when are you on tour?

Couple of weeks.

Tits, if this is a wind-up, it's not funny.

Check all your pockets again.

- I have. Twenty times.

- It's got to be somewhere.

Yeah, somewhere on Spike Island.

When did you last see it?

When I tried giving it to Dodge.

When you f***ed off with Sally.

- Don't be a dick.

- I'm not a dick.

I'm not the one that's lost the tape, am I?

All right, for f***'s

sake, Dodge, calm down.

It don't matter. It's not

the only f***ing copy.

Is it? Are you taking the piss?

Happy days! Nice one!

- Knobhead.

- For f***'s sake, Dodge.

Hang on a minute,

how come I'm suddenly the twat?

Tits is the one that's lost the tape. He's

the one that's naused it all up for us.

- F*** off, Dodge.

- No, you f*** off. The lot of you.

I am Shadow Caster. If it weren't for me,

there wouldn't even be a tape.

If it weren't for me,

you'd still be learning your first chords.

Sorry, lads.

F***ing say sorry to me.

Apologise to me, Tits.

'Cause that tape, the band...

You know I can't do f***-all else.

Well, yeah, 'cause you're thick as pigshit,

aren't you?

Just born stupid.

No, I'm sick of wiping your arse.

And yours! And yours!

Mate, you could even have taken it

into the f***ing gig.

You could have tried to get it to the band.

But you never.

You put it all on me,

like you have done all our lives.

Even when you knew

the score with me old man,

you shot off into that gig without a

thought for any twat other than you.

Next to him, you're the most selfish prick

I've ever f***ing met.

What? You gonna snap my jaw now?

Go on, Tits.

No, am I f***.

...Oh, f***!

Steady on!

Greetings, Earthlings!

It's what ears were invented for, man.

It's the most beautiful 12 inches

of vinyl ever produced.

It shimmers and jangles like...

...sunshine and rain,

sends shivers up your spine.

It's like...

It's like, I don't know, like the Roses

wrote that album just for me.

- Bollocks!

They wrote it just for me.

- No, they wrote it for us.

Are you all right?

Yeah.

Yeah, I am.

Do you want to go back to mine?

Yeah.

- Oh!

Gary?

It's funny what makes people different,

makes us special.

Legends.

I suppose some people

are just born to stand out.

You don't have to be stood on a stage

singing tunes to be a hero.

My old man done it grafting

on a market every day but Sunday.

Stop your crying now, laddie

Dry your tears

There's no bogeyman to get you, never fear

There's no ogres, wicked witches

Only greedy sons of b*tches

Who are waiting to exploit your life away

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