Spinning Boris Page #10

Because it's science. Yeltsin's

ahead by three points.

Not according to Vasso's poll.

We know that the Party of War

paid Vasso...

not to give us that poll.

Then they print this

twenty points crap. It's bullshit.

What if three points

is not enough?

What if margin of error

jumps up...

and bites us in the ass?

Then what?

Then nothing. Up or down,

Zyuganov and Yeltsin...

are only a few points apart.

No one's going over fifty.

There's gonna be a runoff.

You think,

but you can't guarantee it?

That's democracy,

No guarantees.

- It's kind of the whole idea.

- George, that's your country.

Because in your country it doesn't

matter who wins or loses.

Next morning, they find each other

on the same talk show.

The election, it will be canceled.

Do you understand that?

The Party of War will convince

Papa to cancel.

Twenty points behind,

he will listen.

We'll just have to convince him

otherwise through Tatiana.

I don't think so.

You will do just opposite.

You will tell her

her father cannot win.

No, we don't lie

to the employer.

George, I'm not asking you.

I'm telling you.

Are you threatening us?

If Yeltsin loses, whose balls

will be cut first?

Mine!

It was my stupid idea

to bring you here to Russia.

Russia doesn't need to import

all American political tricks.

All this hand-shaking,

baby-kissing stuff.

It's better to kiss the babies

than to shoot the fathers.

Gentlemen, gentlemen...

do you think you can just

lose the election for us...

and then go back to Sacramento?

Think one more time.

I know where to find you.

This is great. "American consultants

come to Russia...

and destroy democracy. "

This is gonna look like sh*t

on the Nightline.

I think I hear a very fat woman

singing...

somewhere in the distance.

I'm glad you got a sense of humor

about this, Joe...

- since this is your fault.

- My fault?

How do you get it's my fault?

I'm sorry. Explain that to me.

You said this will be

the biggest election...

- in the history of democracy.

- I answered the phone...

I picked up the phone.

I seem to remember the words...

"hotter than wildfire, world stage".

Any of that ring a bell to you?

I was bored.

I wanted to get out of here

since the minute we landed.

But you, Mr. Big Mouth,

you talked me out of it.

'Cause you got book deaf fairies

running around in your head.

This isn't the time to bicker and

argue about who killed who.

We'll have plenty of time

to do that on the way home.

We have a Tatiana meeting

in ten minutes.

Great, why don't you go

and kiss her goodbye...

- slip the tongue if you want.

- What are we gonna tell her?

Nothing! We tell her

absolutely nothing.

Good luck canceling the election.

That's it.

There's a plane leaving

in two hours.

I say we're on it.

Come on, guys. We gotta be

unanimous on this.

It's the safe thing to do.

George?

I'm unanimous.

You have seen the poll.

Twenty points.

What do you advise we do?

There's only one thing to do.

We cancel election, right?

No.

Fire General Korzhakov,

fire Barsukov. Fire Soskovets.

Get rid of the whole

Party of War.

They bought the real poll

from Vasso...

and released a fake instead.

What? Are you accusing

our generals...

They don't want this election.

They never did

Tell your father

he's gonna win.

It's in the bag.

I guarantee it.

A memo to that effect

is gonna be on your desk tomorrow.

Excuse us.

Excuse me.

When was it?

When did you lose your mind?

Did you realize that you just

pitted us against...

some of the most powerful

criminals in Russia?

Tell me this is not happening.

Tell me you didn't guarantee a win.

Why not? He's gonna win by three.

That's what you said.

I don't know sh*t, George!

I said it.

I don't wanna die for it.

A guarantee?

God are you out of your mind?

That's the biggest f***ing

of consulting and you just...

give it to them without

even asking us first!

Pinch me, George, before I throw

you off this f***ing balcony!

I didn't ask you first 'cause

I couldn't believe I was doing it.

But it's either that

or that's it. It's over.

So what?

It's just a gig.

For us, yeah, but for Russia... They

get the election canceled. Who knows?

Zyuganov, can you blame him,

retaliates.

Half the army supports him already.

Civil war here

ain't gonna be civil.

Everything we've been scaring them

about in the ads...

that's gonna be reality. The US...

You don't think we'll get screwed?

These A-holes

have no clue where they keep...

their A-bombs. Can you imagine

if anarchy suddenly rules?

Jesus. Talk about

the new world order.

We can't allow it.

Somebody has to stand up and throw

the tea in the harbor and say no.

- George...

- We won't go gently into that.

George, George. We are political

consultants. That's it.

We are paid by the client

to predict polls. That's it

We are always backstage,

under the table, in the shadows...

We're never gonna get elected

or impeached...

or sacked in the end zone.

We're not thoroughbred enough.

We're behind the scenes,

We're the Making Of.

- Let's face it.

- Is that it, George?

You wanna get sacked

in the end zone. Is that it?

Just once. That'd be beautiful.

You know that if Yeltsin loses

Lugov's gonna have us killed.

- You realize that, right?

- I know.

That's why you guys have

to take off on outta here.

- You're really something, George.

- I'm sorry.

I had to do it.

No, Dick and I do all the work...

and now you wanna stick around

by yourself to take all credit.

In your wet dreams, pal.

Have I ever told you

you're both a**holes?

- Has he?

- Yeah.

Many times. And it's starting

to hurt

We came as a team.

We're gonna leave as a team.

You're the quarterback.

Make the call.

From "us" to "you".

The Party of War is trying

to cancel the election.

We strongly disagree

with that position.

We believe Boris Yeltsin

will win by three...

the election is in the bag.

The memo was a big hit,

or a big miss.

We're not sure.

The election isn't canceled.

At least not yet.

But Tatiana has disappeared...

So have all her cronies.

Everybody's playing possum.

Elvis is spreading rumors

about a military coup.

He thinks it's gonna happen

whether Yeltsin wins or loses.

Is he right?

It's hard to tell.

Snipers on rooftops.

Somebody's getting ready

for something.

- Are any numbers in yet?

- No, just frigging soaps.

They won't announce anything

until the polls are closed.

My hands are shaking.

Why are my hands shaking?

We'll know sooner

at the Election Central.

Yeah, but we can't go in there.

We're sitting ducks here.

We gotta get out of the hotel.

No, no. If they were gonna kill us

here, they would've done it already.

Maybe, maybe not.

Who is to know?

Don't start with the

"who is to know".

It's better if we split up.

They can't kill one of us

without killing all of us.

Wouldn't make sense.

No way to damage control.

George?

Hello.

Can I make a call

if I may?

To the United States?

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