Spivak Page #3

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You're missing the point.

You're gaining street cred.

You go to Vegas,

you hook up in a hotel room,

and then you date her friend

who happens to be a Laker Girl.

You go to Bangladesh,

you get a Euro pass,

you take the train all over Europe.

I don't know. You enrich yourself.

You get a buzz about you.

People start wanting to hear

what you have to say.

Robby LeBeau would go.

Exactly!

When Robby came to town,

he got into plenty of trouble.

You know that's bullshit, Kevin.

It's irrelevant.

I don't understand.

Back in the day,

Robby had this drug jones.

He had to pull tricks in MacArthur Park

in order to keep the pills coming.

Robby's a liar.

Tell that to Alan.

Who's Alan?

The 70-year-old man

who fell in love with him.

Wow.

And you can't even go out

with a Laker Girl?

What a pansy.

F*** me.

Welcome to Cinque Terre, sir.

Oh.

From the very beginning,

we decided this museum

is going to be a huge project.

Can I help you, sir Yes, um...

I'm here for lunch with Chuck,

Jeanine, and Tammy.

Oh, yes. They asked

if you would meet them by the first tee.

Is something wrong, sir?

Wally!

Hi!

-Come down!

-Yeah, yeah.

-Come on.

-Stairs over there. Come here.

Wally.

Hi, Wally.

Hello.

Wally, I'd like you to meet Tammy.

Hi, Tammy.

Hi, Wally.

Guys, I thought we were having lunch.

We are, but we thought it might be fun

to play around and golf first,

work up an appetite. You in?

But, uh...

I know you didn't bring

any of your equipment, but it's okay.

We'll go over to the pro shop,

get you everything you need.

-We have Titleist, Callaway...

-Chuck. I don't play golf.

Oh. Oh, Wally, I'm so sorry.

That's just so rude of us

to just assume, isn't it? We...

Well, we'll go get lunch, okay?

We'll just eat.

Absolutely!

Not a problem at all.

-It was stupid of us. Yeah.

-Yeah.

And that's okay. Right, Tammy?

Of course.

Come on, come on. Let's grab our stuff.

Guys?

If it's okay, I'd like to give it a try.

Attaboy, Wally!

Attaboy! That's the spirit.

Go play golf.

Now, Wally, remember,

in the game of golf,

we have two objectives.

We wanna hit the ball a certain distance,

and we wanna hit the ball

a certain direction.

Now, I want you to have

a clear picture in your mind

of exactly where you want the ball

to end up.

In the hole?

Yeah, a hole in one.

That's it, Wally. You aim for the stars.

Now...

-He is ambitious, Chuck.

Yeah, he sure is.

Now, when I take my hands away,

I want you to bring the driver back

like we discussed,

and then follow through the ball, okay?

You got this.

-He's gonna great.

-Yeah.

Oh.

God.

Oh, my god.

It's an owl.

An owl?

I hit an owl?

Don't worry, Wally. It's okay. Probably just got his bell rang.

-Look at his eyes.

Oh...

What have I done?

Wally, trust me. He's fine.

Hey, pal.

Are you okay, little fella?

Hey.

Sorry about that, mate.

Attaboy.

It's all right.

You see, that's what I love

about this game, Wally.

You never know

what's gonna happen next, eh?

It's probably not even the first time

he's been hit.

Well, it's a good sign he flew away.

See? There you go.

You also got to take into account

that he's probably not used to daytime.

Your ball is probably over there,

somewhere. Don't worry, we'll find it.

Jeanine tells me you're a writer.

It's impressive, Wally.

I've never been friends

with an author before.

Oh, there was this Asian kid

when I was in university

that I wanted to be friends with.

But, you know, I was in the golf team

and he was short and intellectual.

So... He just seemed

intimidated by me, so I left him alone.

You know what I mean?

I'm gonna help you out here.

Watch out for snakes, Wally.

This will impress Tammy.

Wow!

Hm?

Great shot, Wally!

So?

What do you think of him?

He's...

interesting.

Not what you're used to.

No.

-No.

-Yeah, I think so.

-Good! Yes.

-Yes, that's good. Okay.

-I think so.

-This is a good thing. Right.

-Yes, yes.

It's okay, Wally.

You're getting the hang of it.

Relax those wrists, pal.

Grip's too tight.

You've got this. Come on.

Wally, listen to me.

You've got to stop thinking.

Just open the top of your head,

and let all thoughts float out.

It's the secret of golf.

Good god, babe. You've created a monster.

Huh?

Whoo-hoo!

So, how many more would Tiger need

to catch up with Nicklaus?

Well, um, four to tie,

but five to pass him.

It's such a shame, isn't it?

'Cause I just don't think

he's got it in him anymore.

Oh, I think he does.

He just needs to clear his mind.

When you do that, anything is possible.

Okay.

Oh.

-Fellas, come over here.

-Nice.

-Hey.

-There's someone I want you to meet.

-Jeanine, Tammy.

Hi.

I wanna introduce you to somebody.

This is Wally Spivak.

He's a good friend of ours.

Wally, this is Bill Hundleson.

He's an esteemed member of our club.

And this is Kyle Newcombe,

a fellow pro here.

And he and I shared a cup of coffee

on the tour a few years back.

Bill Hundleson.

Kyle Newcombe.

Wally Spivak. Nice to meet you, fellas.

Nice to meet you, Wally. Welcome.

-Mm-hm.

Chuck's a good guy...

sometimes.

Watch out for him, Wally.

Oh...

-Huh.

-Oh.

Okay. Wally here, he's a writer.

He just played

his first round of golf ever.

I'd imagine, uh, it's a pretty tough game

for a writer.

No. He hit a 250-yard tee shot

off the ninth.

I also hit an owl.

Next time, try for a birdie.

-Yeah.

Yes.

Jeez.

What's in these things?

The Double Eagle has quite a lot

of vodka in it, Wally.

I don't think I can drive.

I'll drive you home.

Ladies and gentlemen, your Laker Girls.

I'm so jealous.

There's nothing to be jealous about.

I'm not dating her.

Give it some time, Wally.

Yeah, maybe you'll grow to like her.

-Hey, guys.

-Hi.

Hey, Chuck!

Hey, pal.

-Hi, Jeanine.

-Hi.

This is Jesse, you guys.

-Great to finally meet you.

-Hey.

Yeah, nice to meet you.

-It's a pleasure.

So, I hear congratulations are in order.

I heard you and Tammy are an item.

I'm so happy for you, Wally.

-She is a great girl.

-Great girl.

Yeah. We love her.

Your Laker Girls.

Yeah!

-In his face!

-That's what I'm talking about!

Whoo!

Wally, did you ever read

The Turn of the Screw?

Great book, wasn't it?

I mean, packed one hell of a punch.

You know, back when I was

in secondary school, they forced me to read all the classics.

You know, The Turn of the Screw,

Kafka's The Castle,

The Sound and the Fury,

A Hundred Years of Solitude,

remember that?

Well, Gabriel Garca Mrquez.

Wally.

I lost myself in those books.

For some reason,

I never read another novel again.

I just couldn't seem to do it on my own,

unless it was assigned.

It's been so frustrating.

So, yeah, I was wondering

where I might find one of your novels.

Jeanine and I were at Barnes and Noble

the other day,

and we were looking for you,

under "S," but...

nothing.

Chuck.

Chuck, I've never been published.

Oh, I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't...

I...

I'd still like to read one, though.

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