Spy Page #10

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I read palms and maps...

and I've read all of

The Hunger Games...

How is that helpful?

I don't know.

I'm panicking!

And you!

You have to stop with these

stupid Penny Morgan outfits!

You have to dress

like an actual human!

Get me more security

when I come back out here

or you're both dead!

I am cold blooded

Suck on this, Rayna.

This mission's gonna

cost you money, you know.

The clothing allowance cut off

halfway through the last...

My God, can you just

please concentrate

on getting the new bodyguard?

God damn it! Please!

All right, all right.

Crabby.

I've already contacted

the agency.

Aw. Come on!

You, in this outfit...

Magnifico!

Do we have anything yet?

No one so far, Susan.

Slightly intimidating

crowd, however.

Hello, you look nice.

Just keep laughing.

Looks fade.

Keep your eyes open.

God damn it,

I told you to dress up.

And take off those gloves.

You look like

Darth-f***ing-Vader.

Yeah? Well, you look like

an Ewok died on your head.

I don't even know

what that means.

You're gonna know what it means

when I split you open

like a Tauntaun.

Whatever.

Keep an eye out for this woman.

She's the one coming

to make the bid.

He's got a friend.

Very pretty.

I'm glad you know

what pretty is.

You should remember it next time

you're in a clothing store.

I need you to keep

your eyes open.

I may need your help out there.

To close my eyes

in the presence

of this beautiful body...

would be a crime.

God.

Nancy, okay, you know the woman

I spotted in Paris, the bomber?

She's coming tonight

to make a bid.

She already works for De Luca

so we know something is up.

I need you to keep an...

Son of a bee sting.

Excuse me, he's mine.

Yeah.

I didn't mean

to hit her that hard.

You're like a balloon animal.

Here, take those.

Hi. What are you doing, Ford?

I'm here to help you, Cooper.

You may have found Rayna,

but you cannot lose her.

This isn't f***ing playtime anymore!

Yeah?

It's playtime on your face,

with your stupid mustache!

Where'd you get that from,

Mr. Potato Head?

You are gonna

blow my f***ing cover.

Yeah? Sunglasses are not a cover,

they're an accessory.

Get out of here!

You're gonna f*** this up without

me around to save your girly ass.

God, I hate you so much!

You can't let your desire for

me put you in danger, Cooper.

God, you wish, Magnum.

You dance like

a horny eighth grader.

Are you erect?

Get off me!

Blend in, or get the f*** out!

You get out of here!

Yeah, who's dominating now?

F***!

Don't, you son of a b*tch.

You've gotta be kidding!

Get off of me!

You get off of me!

Get your silky shirt off of me!

Blend in, or get the f*** out.

Thank you

for the beautiful ladies.

You guys okay?

Let's welcome Mr. 50 Cent!

What's up, Budapest?

I just had some goulash.

The sh*t was on point!

Get the party rockin'

Bottles poppin'

Tonight we gonna turn up till we

Twisted

Sh*t. She's here.

We can't let Rayna see her...

so you need to take out her

bodyguards and I'll deal with her.

Ain't nobody orders me around!

God, do you have a better idea?

Yeah, we release

a gas in the club...

causing everybody to get

temporary amnesia.

Get 100 sticks of dynamite...

God! Just go!

Just go!

Nancy, I need you

to get in here now.

I'm coming, Susan. I'm here!

Pardon. Excuse me.

Okay. I'm here. I'm here.

Turn up

Wow! 50 Cent Piece!

Thanks for letting me know.

Do not let Rayna see that woman.

Create a diversion, now.

What kind of diversion?

A big one!

Let's enjoy tonight

Like tonight's our last

We can focus on the future

And reflect on the past

We done came so far

I mean, look where we are

50, I love you!

50, I love you!

Kiss me!

Get her!

Take me now!

Turn around.

Get off!

I'm coming in!

Nancy, I got her.

Meet me outside.

Okay. Right.

I'm fine now.

Thank you so much.

Okay.

I got my wish. That was it.

I've now got to jump Michael

Bubl in Croatia. He wants me.

All right, Cooper.

I've got this under control.

You're coming with me.

My God, Susan!

Okay, bigger diversion.

Huge diversion.

B*tch!

I gotta know

who she's working for.

Get Rayna out of here!

That's not fair!

Whoa! Whoa!

God damn it!

Nancy, where are you?

Bit indisposed.

It turns out 50 Cent

doesn't have a great sense

of humor or irony.

I need backup!

I lost my gun in the club!

We're probably

more alike than you think!

Okay. Okay.

Sh*t.

Why'd I get rid of my gloves?

Motherbutler!

You got a lot of rage

in that jumpsuit.

You dead serious?

God!

Wait! Wait a minute!

This isn't what you want,

or what I want.

This is like what the Man wants.

Us, you know?

Two smart, pretty brunettes...

kind of breaking

each other down.

I mean, you look similar to

a gal I was in college with.

Things happened.

I think we all dabble.

It's mostly just kind of

stuff with hands and...

God, I can't wait to kill you.

That's clean through.

Thanks for your weapon.

It's been inside you,

so I don't think

it should go inside me...

Get up. Get up!

You are under arrest

by Susan Cooper...

and the government

of the United States.

Rayna, how did you do that?

I didn't.

He did.

Hello, Coop.

Fine?

Hey.

Coop.

Wake up!

Did you have a nice nap?

You were snoring very loudly.

That's just really not the most

upsetting news right now.

My father used to

bring people here.

Did he also make you dress

like a slutty dolphin trainer?

He'd starve them...

torture them.

You name it.

But he especially didn't like it

when people lied to him.

Not that I bought it.

You knew?

Of course I knew.

I told you,

you were better off in the basement, Coop.

You could have

avoided all of this.

And what, Fine?

Now you're a nuclear

black marketer?

A terrorist?

No...

He's just f***ing me.

You're a loud kisser.

Excuse me?

You're a loud kisser.

And it's gross and unappealing.

You look like some

old, toothless woman

sucking the jelly

out of a donut.

Hey, what's it like

sleeping with the man

that killed your father?

Nice try, Coop.

She already knows it was Cress.

Okay.

You've probably always been in

love with him, haven't you?

Talking in his ear...

hoping eventually one day

he'll fall in love with you.

Poor little,

pathetic Susan Coleman.

That's not my last name,

so it's really not much

of a burn, is it?

Cooping.

No.

Croupon.

Are you thinking "Groupon"?

No, my name's not "Groupon."

Croupe.

Keep going.

Kapowski.

That's getting further from it!

Well, whatever the f*** it is,

let's just call you dead.

Hey, baby?

I thought we were gonna hang

on to her till tonight.

I changed my mind.

Goodbye.

Like I'd waste a bullet on you.

Put her in the room.

Hey, Aldo.

Hello, captured lady.

I failed.

I failed the mission.

Fine is alive...

and he's a traitor.

Don't be downhearted.

My mama said to me...

"Aldo, life is full of sorrow...

"and surprises.

"But, a magnificent

pair of bosoms...

"will..."

Good story.

Susan.

Get away from me.

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