Spy Page #3

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Drop your weapon.

Fine, what's happening?

Let me guess.

Whoever is in your ear

wants to know what's happening?

He's about to die.

That's what.

An awfully big gun

for such a little girl.

God, don't say stuff like that.

Okay, there's a knife rack

directly to your right.

The way she's holding the gun,

she's not experienced.

If you duck and lunge,

you can get the knife and disarm her.

Did someone just suggest that

you grab one of those knives?

No, no, no!

Damn it!

Fine!

Can they see me right now?

Let me adjust

the angle a little bit.

My God, Fine.

His name was Bradley Fine.

He worked for the CIA.

Other top agents include

Matthew Wright, Timothy Cress...

Rick Ford and Karen Walker.

Come on, Fine. Come on.

I know who all

your active agents are.

So, unless you'd like

the body count to grow...

I suggest you stay

far away from me.

Now grab some tissues,

because sh*t's about

to get real sad.

No, no...

My God, Fine.

As Deputy Director...

I have never had

a more difficult duty...

than to bid farewell

to colleagues taken from us.

From Dover,

to the family services...

to memorials like these...

it's tough to say goodbye.

There's nothing you could have done,

Susan.

Bradley Fine was more than

just a coworker and a friend.

He was part of our family.

And as family,

even knowing that the universe

has a plan

for each human life...

it's hard to accept

the sudden loss

of such a good

and decent person.

Okay, there's a

knife rack directly to your right.

Susan, I got your assessment

report on Rayna Boyanov.

I know you're probably feeling

a lot of emotion right now...

but please refrain from using

the term "thundercunt."

My God.

I didn't realize I wrote that.

I'm sorry.

Nancy, I'm sending you a photo.

It's in pretty bad shape.

Can you enhance it?

Paris?

How the f*** did this twat

find out our f***ing names?

We don't know.

And dial it way back

with the "T" word, Ford.

You're not immune from the HR department.

Grow up.

And "twat" means something

completely different in England.

Here it means a vagina.

Anyway, obviously

we're talking about a mole.

It could be a mole,

they could have hacked our system.

It's anyone's guess.

The bottom line is Rayna

Boyanov is about to sell...

a small-scale tactical

nuclear weapon

to a terrorist organization...

and we don't know

where she or the bomb is.

Fortunately, our analyst

Susan Cooper found a lead.

Rayna had the number

of Sergio De Luca...

and we've long suspected De Luca

of working as an intermediary

with terrorist groups.

Rayna may be using him

to find buyers for the nuke.

The number was to an office

he keeps in Paris.

I told you to send me in

there instead of Fine,

and you didn't.

And now Fine is dead.

I'm going the f*** in.

You can't.

We need someone to follow De

Luca without being detected...

and that will hopefully

take us to Rayna...

but it can't be any of you.

Here's what we do...

I go into the Face/Off machine,

get a whole new face.

I turn up,

they never know it's me.

Do you have quarters?

Because it costs 50 cents.

What, I gotta pay?

No, because it doesn't exist.

Yes, it does!

I heard Cress and Wright talking

about it in the shitter.

I'm pretty sure

they were pulling your leg.

You pair of f***ing vaginas.

Seriously,

you've got to cut that out.

Jesus. Look, one of us

has to go in.

Doesn't matter

if we've been exposed.

We've all gone deep before,

and we've always gotten our guy.

Guys, this is more than

just a kill mission.

We can get Rayna, De Luca,

and some top terrorist leadership...

and get the weapon back

if we do this right.

We just need someone

who can shadow them

without attracting attention.

We need someone invisible.

I'll do it.

Okay, thanks, lunch lady.

I'm serious.

I have never

been out in the field.

Exactly. Stupid f***ing idea.

My point is that

it's highly doubtful

that I've ever been exposed.

But you worked with Fine.

They may have

a record of you, too.

Possibly.

But the odds of them

knowing my face are very low.

Miss Crocker, I would

really like to do this.

For Fine.

What are you gonna do?

Bring one of your cats as a sidekick?

I don't have any cats!

You're not seriously

considering this, are you?

Look here, Betty...

Ford, if you call me

Betty Crocker,

I will rip your f***ing

heart out of your chest.

Not only did I become a citizen

and take a vow

to protect this country...

I also took a vow to avenge my

fallen comrades. We all f***ing did.

No, we didn't.

Not me.

I'm pretty sure we all took a f***ing vow.

I remember it.

I remember raising my f***ing

hand and saying some sh*t.

If you think I'm gonna sit by

and let you send in

a f***ing secretary...

to do my work...

you might as well accept

my resignation now.

If I can jump in,

I am technically,

classified as an agent.

Look...

Full agent. So...

agent, agent, agent,

I'm an agent.

Are you considering this?

For your safety, and the safety

of those around this table...

I am considering it.

Then consider this, I quit.

And I know there's a f***ing

Face/Off machine.

You're just keeping it

secret from me.

Okay.

That hasn't happened before.

It is quite a lovely office.

What's your deal, Cooper?

What do you mean?

You got a fiery side?

I really did, in that report,

mean to write "cunning."

I've been going over your files.

You were top of your class

at the Academy,

in all computer

and support skills.

No surprise there.

But you have a certain...

tame demeanor around the office,

that says you've never

even held a gun.

So imagine my surprise...

when I saw footage from

this drill back at The Farm.

Is that...

I can't even...

- Is that me?

- I can't really...

Stupid gun!

Somebody definitely

sped this up.

Ooh! Camera angle

and stuff make...

Cooper, Cooper, stop!

Jesus Christ, what are you...

Ouch.

Out of context, that's...

I must have watched

this 15 times now...

because what the f***?

I almost put it up on YouTube.

I was, to say the least,

uncomfortable with the event.

But I would also like to say,

it was over 10 years ago.

The instructor was not harmed.

Fine was your mentor, right?

Yes.

Why did you not

become a field agent?

Well,

we're such a great fit and a great team.

Fine made some great points.

Maybe I match better with,

just staying...

In his ear.

Well...

Yeah, he sniped you.

All the top agents used to

do that before I got here.

I really thought he made

some great points.

Women.

All right, have you had any

field training since then?

10 years is a long time.

No, ma'am.

Normally, I would send you back to

The Farm, but there's no time...

and I can't take a chance of

anyone leaking your name.

Am I going?

You're going.

Okay. Jeez. Sorry.

But it's a track and report

mission only.

Got it.

We'll be giving you

a new identity.

You'll no longer be

Susan Cooper.

I had a few ideas for that.

Your new name...

I was just spitballing

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