Spy Page #6

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so it has a satellite-aided

transmission.

Then tap into Boyanov's feed.

His GPS should tell you

exactly where De Luca

is in Rome, right now.

I'm gonna head to the airport.

Forget it, Cooper.

You're coming back immediately.

Ma'am, I really think

I can do this.

And I'm not one

to toot my own horn,

but you know what?

I'm gonna toot...

and say that I just saved

a lot of people.

We are so close to getting

Rayna and that bomb.

Pull back the rug in the corner.

You'll be given a new identity.

Thank God.

No!

Your name is Penny Morgan.

You're a divorced

housewife from Iowa.

You've sold

more Mary Kay products...

than anyone else

in your state...

and you've traded in

the free car you've won...

to fund a trip through Europe.

My hobbies are dcoupage

and needlepoint.

I collect porcelain dolls...

and I'm the vice president

of the Ames Garden Club.

I couldn't even be president?

Maybe I should just be married

to one of the dolls...

just to make it extra sad.

Ten cats.

Why do I have ten cats?

Is that even legal?

Fine always got to be

a businessman.

One time

he was a race car driver.

Well, there's the ten cats.

Just missing a shirt that says

I've never felt

the touch of a man.

Cooper, you're right.

You did good work back there.

That would have been

a real mess.

Thank you, ma'am.

You still went

with the cat lady.

It was already in the floor.

Great, that's a real

confidence builder.

Did you find De Luca?

He's been at the Majestic Hotel,

but he's just left, heading...

south, okay?

I'll guide you to him.

I've sent an ally to drive you.

Elaine said nothing fancy,

so I've gone with earthy.

Ooh. Whoa.

You wanna stop the car?

Hi.

Hey!

Welcome to Roma!

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm Aldo.

Like the shoe store

found in American malls.

I'm Penny, like the penny.

Like a penny!

Or like penne alla vodka!

Okay.

Did you just grab my butt?

Yes.

Come. We need

to get you to De Luca.

Jiminy Christmas!

My God!

Don't worry, I have you!

Aldo, slow down!

Nancy, are you sure this guy

is even an agent?

Absolutely.

He's the best!

There have been some

complaints filed against him.

Watch the road, watch the road!

Watch the road!

My God!

Watch the road!

Wow, Aldo is making great time.

A dead end!

This can't be right!

My God!

God!

Intriguing lady, we are here.

Now, you must go...

because I fear if I stare

into your beautiful green

eyes a moment longer...

I will fall in love.

Too late.

My God, does that ever work?

I will take that as...

That's a "no."

A "no."

Take that as a "no."

You were just hitting on me.

I like to play the odds.

Yeah. Well, good luck.

Here is my phone number.

Memorize it, then burn it.

These people we are dealing with,

they like to...

How you say?

Murder entire families.

Do you have something for me?

Do I have something for you?

Would you like

something from me?

Not that.

What do you want from me?

You're supposed to have an

envelope with my gun in it.

I don't have a gun.

I am just aroused

from looking at you.

It was joke.

There is no gun.

They said you would no longer

be needing one.

Good luck!

Ciao!

Good gravy.

Was Pep Le Pew not available?

Stop complaining, Suzie.

You're getting more action

than I have had in days.

Months.

Years.

Three years and 40 days.

Do we have an update on De Luca?

Yes, he should be pulling up...

right about now.

Wow. He is hot.

I'm not gonna lie to you.

I don't think I can be objective anymore.

I'm rooting for that guy.

I want him to win.

I'm joking, Susan.

Don't report me.

He's handsy.

Let's set up camp in

the pastry shop behind you.

According to Aldo,

De Luca spends all night in the casino.

I'm going in, Nancy.

Susan, you heard Elaine.

Track and report.

No contact!

I'll track De Luca inside,

then I'll report.

And if he initiates

contact with me...

I'll just go with it.

Susan!

Your "cat lady"

look is not gonna fit in in there.

That's why Penny Morgan is

gonna burn her cat T-shirt...

and spend some

of that Mary Kay money.

This is full-blown rogue!

Yeah, I'm a diva

Living in the club

I don't need nobody

I'm doing my own thing

All I really want to do is party

You guys are terrible!

I really hope De Luca is still in there,

for your sake.

And they're not gonna

reimburse you for all that.

You should have gone

to cheaper stores, Susan.

Okay, I'm going offline, Nancy.

No, wait!

Susan!

I'm a diva

Doing my thing Don't need nobody

Well, buongiorno, boys!

If I'm not out in 10 minutes,

it's because I won the place.

Let me just rub that for luck.

That's an oily scalp.

I'm sorry,

but I have to check you in.

Your name, please?

Penny Morgan.

I don't see you on the

list. I'm so sorry.

She's with me.

Darling.

You're late.

The way you look...

I'd say it was more

than worth the wait. Come.

Let's get a drink.

Such a gentleman.

You look absolutely stunning

tonight here, darling.

What the f*** are you doing

in here, arsehole?

That's quite a tone

change, isn't it?

What are you doing in here?

You are completely

compromising me right now.

I'm compromising you?

F***ing hilarious.

You were about to cause a scene

trying to get into

this f***ing place.

Give me a little credit.

What do you think I'm gonna do?

Run over there and be like,

"Hey, I'm a crazy lady!

"Where's the buffet?

I'm from the Midwest.

"Where's Blue Man Group?"

I am not an idiot, Ford.

You are an idiot.

You should not be

in this casino...

because De Luca is here and

I need to get close to him.

How you gonna do that?

How you gonna do that, Cooper?

What, are you gonna seduce him?

That your big f***ing plan?

Yeah, what if it is?

Why is that so hard to believe?

Because you look like a flute

player in a wedding band.

That's f***ing why!

I'm here to take De Luca out.

Ooh. It sounds romantic.

I hope you get lucky!

God damn it, if I was trying

to sound romantic...

you'd be lying on the floor,

soaking wet and breathless...

wondering what came over you.

But I'm not,

so get the f*** out of my way!

I need you to rein it in,

buddy, okay?

If you take out De Luca,

we don't have a shot at getting Rayna.

So take it down, like,

5,000 notches!

Take it down?

That's how you get

polonium-210 slipped

into your drink...

and go 18 months

in intensive care

for radiation poisoning...

and go six months

without eyesight...

while everybody you've

ever loved is gunned down!

Really? Everybody

that you love

has been gunned down,

and just you survive?

Did you ever think that maybe

everybody you love

is not being killed...

but they're killing themselves

because they can't stand

to be around you?

This sh*t's the real deal,

life and death.

This, the field...

is a hell of a lot different than

sitting behind your f***ing monitor...

googling sh*t.

Stay away from me, Ford.

And do not let De Luca see you.

And by the way,

I can see your gun

sticking out

of your back pocket.

Unless you're so extreme that

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