Spy Page #7

---

you've got a second dick...

coming out of your hip!

Konnichiwa.

Ma'am, these seats are reserved.

Of course they are.

I'm gonna have to ask you

to wait outside.

Yes, absolutely.

Nope, not a door?

I knew that.

Of course it's not a door.

It probably

happens all the time.

It's never happened before.

Okay.

Ma'am.

Yes.

Now, right here is okay.

No more exploring, please.

Okay. Lovely.

From Mr. De Luca.

Nancy?

Susan. My God! Hi!

I found her.

I found Rayna.

She's with De Luca.

You did it!

Excellent tracking

and reporting, madam.

My God.

Somebody just put

something in her drink.

What is it?

Is it poison?

I don't think

it's a fiber supplement.

She killed Fine, Nance.

I could really enjoy just

watching her die right now.

She's the only one who knows

where the bomb is...

so Dudaev would never

get his hands on it.

God, Susan.

What are you gonna do?

Excuse me, ma'am.

Hi, do you speak English?

Because I think somebody just

put a roofie in your cocktail.

Are you sure it wasn't you?

What? No! God, I would never!

Could you point the man out?

He just kind of

zipped out that door.

He's wearing a purple bowtie.

Thank you, Miss...

Penny. Morgan.

But it's no trouble, really.

I think us ladies have to

watch out for each other.

This kind of thing

happens all the time.

People often try to roofie you?

Once, I asked someone

for a Tylenol,

and they gave me a Tylenol PM.

I'm not sure what

their intentions were, but...

It seems

they may have found him.

Would you come with me

to identify him?

Yes. Of course.

I'm happy to help.

Holy sh*t.

My friend here said she saw you

put something in my drink.

I don't know

any of you people. Okay?

I'm just in Rome on business.

I was about to head back

to my hotel and go to sleep.

Perfect. Just in time

for a nightcap.

Apparently, there's nothing

wrong with it.

I don't want your drink.

F*** you, Rayna.

Scrumptious.

So, joke's on you.

F*** you!

F*** you!

How long was I out?

You fainted just long enough

for us to laugh at you.

What happened?

It was all a dream.

I'm just kidding.

A man's throat dissolved.

Sorry, I'm not usually,

you know...

Thank you. That's...

surprisingly polite.

Sorry about that.

I've seen a lot of things

in my day. I just haven't...

I have never seen that, exactly.

Penny, do you feel the need

to tell anybody about

what you just saw?

I'm not gonna tell anybody.

That a**hole

got what he deserved.

I knew from the second

I saw him, I thought...

"That guy doesn't

deserve a throat."

So, good on you.

I would like to take you

to dinner to say thank you.

And we must discuss

this hideous dress.

It's just hysterical.

Good,

that's what I was hoping for.

And by the way...

Hristo was supposed to be

looking after me at the bar...

and making sure nobody

put anything in my drinks.

They'll give him

a talking-to.

Seems fair.

Maybe dock him a day's wage.

Or shoot him in the head.

That always works.

Rome is quite amaz...

Rome is the worst.

Yes.

So boring and tacky.

I'm so glad one of us

finally said it.

You have lipstick on your teeth.

Really?

Looks like you ate

a box of crayons.

Damn it.

Here we are.

These should have been brought

out when we first sat down.

That's exactly

what I was thinking.

So far, I'm riddled with

disappointment at the service.

So sorry.

Signora, I apologize.

I once saw someone eat...

one of these before.

This is... strange.

Do you always tear your food

up into little pieces?

You look like a squirrel.

I was just checking

for the consistency.

You eat like a baby.

Thank you.

So, do you like to have a

look at the wine list?

Yes. Penny, you can order.

Okay.

Has some heft.

Okay.

I'm feeling a red.

Kind of a red.

I like a lot of noise.

I like a little bit of...

kind of a barky finish.

I tend to like a white...

with the grit of a hummus...

that's, of course,

been thinned out.

Just kind of jump up

in the front of your palate...

and then rip back and sizzle.

Almost a mineral

kind of dirt finish...

if we're having meat.

Okay, here, this is looking...

promising.

Something with...

This one has

nice hints of toast...

and dogwood, I assume?

I will have

the Sapori e Delizie.

Right.

That is the name

of this restaurant.

Yes, I'm aware of that.

So, why don't you surprise us...

with something

that we don't know?

Like a delicious bottle of wine.

Right. Sorry, I will be back

in five minutes, okay?

So hard to get

good help these days.

Don't you find that?

I find that.

I know who all

your active agents are.

Okay, I'm sensing...

Can I do a little do over?

I...

I really don't know

how to order wine.

I'm from a small town in Iowa.

I saved up my money

to come on this Rome trip.

I had a little jar

on my desk at work...

and everybody said,

"You're never gonna make enough money."

But I did, and I'm here.

And then I meet you,

and I can't afford...

to eat at a place like this,

and I'm just trying

to impress you...

and doing a really

poor job of it.

I thought as much.

Your cheap prom dress doesn't

exactly scream sophistication.

Well, I didn't go to prom,

so maybe it is...

When I was a little girl

growing up in Bulgaria...

which is the worst, by the way.

Poor people everywhere and

cabbages constantly cooking.

There was this woman who was

kicked out of her house...

and she lost all her money.

She couldn't even sell her body.

So she became a clown

on the streets.

She would perform all her

tricks standing in mud,

and just cry and cry.

You remind me of this woman.

Thank you.

I don't know what it is,

but there's something about you.

The fainting,

the way you talk...

your terrible sense of style.

I did get this at

quite a lovely...

It makes me sad

to think of you here

spending all your

savings on Rome.

Come on.

We're going to Budapest.

Budapest?

I have some business

to finish there...

and you can take my private

jet when we're done...

anywhere you want to get home.

My way of repaying you

for saving my life.

Okay.

Is there a problem?

No. Not at all. Let's go.

Hey! Wait, what?

I'm just talking to the girl!

Okay, okay.

Let's not make a scene.

Let me just

get my room key out...

and I'll grab a bag

and pack my things.

It's Susan.

She's sending a code.

No, they can fly you back later.

"Shut...

And if the rest of your clothes

look like that dress...

"...down...

...I can send someone

to burn them for you.

Ha-ha.

"...the power."

Quite a zinger!

Shut down the power

to the Casino Di Rome.

What?

Shut the entire bloody

grid down, then! Now!

That would be great.

Everybody,

please remain calm and stay where you are.

No!

What's happening?

I've got this.

What the f*** just happened?

God damn it.

My God! Rayna.

Thank God

your hair broke your fall.

I don't know what happened.

The lights were going out,

and I don't know if it's a robbery.

Two of your guys slammed

into me and took you down.

Rate this script:4.5 / 2 votes