Spy Kids

Carmen, Juni, time for bed.

- Did you brush your teeth?

- I already did.

- Juni, don't forget to brush--

- I am, I am.

All right, all right.

JUNI:
OK, warts. Uhh!

Prepare to meet your maker.

Everything OK at school?

Yeah. It's good. It's fine.

OK. Well, lights out.

Bedtime story first.

What story do you want to hear?

"The Two Spies

Who Fell In Love."

Hmm. Wow.

I haven't told that one

in a while.

You probably remember that

better than I do.

- Want to hear a story, Juni?

- I'm listening.

OK.

Once upon a time...

there was a man and a woman.

- And they were both spies.

- Yes.

She from one country,

he from another.

She had a very important mission

assigned to her.

- He was her mission.

- Correct.

Her mission was to take him out.

CARMEN:
On a date?

No. Uh, take him--

Oh, you mean...

I shouldn't be telling you this.

- Go on. Go on.

- You have to understand...

these were

dark and confusing times.

An enormous amount of turmoil

between countries.

INGRID:
Out off ear...

a new kind of soldier

was created--

brilliant, brave soldiers...

whose greatest weapons

were their minds.

Those men and women were spies.

They were masters of disguise.

They could sense danger

a mile away...

and through their work...

wars were ended

before they even started.

[Electronic beeping]

The only things spies

were truly afraid of...

were other spies--

enemy spies.

So, sometimes,

one spy's mission...

was to make

the enemy disappear.

He was the assignment

that changed her life...

but when the moment

finally came...

to carry out her mission...

she couldn't do it.

He was different

than she expected.

Sure, he was charming

and intelligent...

but he was

unexpectedly honorable...

and it made her realize...

how years of working

with detached emotion...

had taken its toll.

So they kept contact...

through lunch dates--

very discreet.

After all,

they were on different sides...

so they could never

be seen together.

Dinner dates followed...

wherever their mutual

travels took them.

And they fell in love...

and they decided

that, together...

they would embark...

on the most dangerous mission

of all time.

CARMEN:
What?

INGRID:
They decided to marry.

CARMEN:
Wow.

INGRID:
Oh, yes.

On her wedding day...

she felt like

she would rather brave...

a thousand deadly missions...

than go through with what

she was about to attempt.

CARMEN:
Why is that?

Well, marriage is a mission

so complex...

that only the most courageous

and slightly insane need apply.

There's such an amazing

series of obstacles...

one has to navigate

to keep a marriage together--

much less family--

that it frightened even her...

a hardened

and experienced secret agent.

But when she saw him...

standing there

with no doubt whatsoever...

so assured of his decision...

so enamored with what

they were about to do...

she took his hand...

looked deep into his eyes...

and said

the two most dangerous...

most trusting words

you can say to anyone.

CARMEN:
What?

INGRID:
She said, "I do. "

CARMEN:
Oh, that's so cool.

Yeah.

Then the problems started.

[Plane engine roars]

INGRID:
Now, there was

always some faction...

that wanted at least

one of them gone.

On their own,

each agent was notorious...

but together,

they made tempting targets.

[No audio]

So, they retired...

settled down...

had a few kids.

In a way, they exchanged...

one life of adventure

for another...

trading espionage

for parenthood--

a mysterious and compelling

mission in its own right.

And they're better off.

The end.

No "happily ever after"?

I said they were better off.

Great story, Mom,

but it needs a new ending.

It needs monsters.

INGRID:
Is that right?

Do you want me to look at your--

I put the medicine on.

OK, munchkin. Good night.

What was the story tonight?

Mmm. Ours.

How many nights, I wonder...

do you send the children

off to bed with nightmares?

Carmen asked for the story.

That life is over now.

We are consultants, not spies.

[Electronic beeping]

INGRID:
So I went

to their school today.

Mm-hmm.

Had that meeting

with the principal.

Hmm?

Carmen's been skipping school

twice a month.

- Why?

- I don't know.

And those school friends

Juni talks about having?

Yeah.

Diego somebody and Renaldo?

No such beasts.

INGRID:
It turns out,

the other kids pick on him.

He has no friends.

It doesn't help that he has

his head in the clouds...

making these weird drawings...

and burying himself

into that demented kids show.

[Beep]

They're keeping secrets

from us, Gregorio...

and I think it's our fault.

They've gotten this from us.

We have good reason

to keep secrets.

If we told them we were spies...

they'd have visions of danger

every time we leave the house.

Speaking of secrets...

what are you working on

over here?

Oh, nothing important.

It's just...

JUNI:
Why do we have

to do this every morning?

We already have P.E. at school.

Uhh.

You gonna hang there all day,

scaredy cat?

Told you not to look down.

I can't help it. I'm slipping.

CARMEN:
It's your butterfingers

that are slipping.

Uhh! Hurry up!

I can--uhh!

- Uhh!

- Whoa! Uhh!

[Moaning]

You just fell a thousand feet.

You're a pancake.

- Am not.

- Are too.

Don't trip getting up, pancake.

[Crash]

Butterfingers.

We'll see about that.

[Fax machine beeps]

[Juni and Carmen arguing]

Donnagon?

Yeah. He's missing.

Is this what you were hiding

last night?

I didn't want to worry you.

ANNOUNCER:
We now return to...

GREGORIO:
Juni,

why do you watch that show?

Because it's cool. Why?

Because that's all you ever do.

Play its video games

and watch the tapes.

Do you know why, son?

So, always remember,

whatever you do...

believe in yourself.

Your dreams will come true...

for you and you and you.

CARMEN:

What's this, a self-portrait?

[As Carmen]

"What's this, a self-portrait?"

- Mom, he's mimicking me!

- "Mom, he's mimicking me!"

INGRID:
Carmen,

leave your brother alone.

Juni,

stop talking like your sister.

- Stop it.

- "Stop it."

- Look at this. It's hideous.

- Well, talk to him.

JUNI:
It's a Fooglie idea.

I designed it myself.

Today we're very excited,

because today...

we have a new character!

We found him snooping around

the castle last night.

I want you all to meet

Donnamight.

JUNI:
Dad, when Floop

makes a toy out of that one...

I want it!

[Speaking

in alien tongue]

- Honey!

- [Tires squeal]

[Speaking in foreign language]

GREGORIO:
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Juni. Juni. Hey.

Anybody gives you

a hard time in there...

remember, you are a Cortez.

What's so special

about being a Cortez?

Lots of things.

Hey, it's the mummy.

Nice-looking bandages, mummy.

JUNI:
Just stop it, man.

When I'm talking to you,

you listen.

Ay yi... yi... yi.

Nice dolls.

Here, let me see the dolls.

MAN:
Have a good day, son.

Show them who's boss.

Can I help you

with something, macho?

[Sighs]

[Crash, cheering]

I said, "Can I help you

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