Spy Kids Page #2

with something, chief?"

[School bell rings]

I didn't think so.

My dad was gonna beat up

your dad.

No more secrets. Deal?

Soon. Definitely soon.

I even have to share a room

with him...

because he's so afraid

of being alone.

"Watch out for Juni,

Take care of Juni.

"Show Juni right from wrong."

I shouldn't be responsible

for anybody but me.

GIRL:
You're so right, Carmen.

What's so special

about being a Cortez?

I wish I could go away

to your world, Floop.

You'd be my friend.

MR. LISP:
I thank you all...

for attending

today's demonstration.

Year after year...

we pay outrageous sums of money

to several inventors...

to come up

with our technologies.

Mr. Floop is one such visionary.

However, his inventions

are somewhat questionable...

and, therefore,

need to be evaluated.

You promised us an army,

Mr. Floop...

but our first billion dollars

bought us only this--

mutated secret agents.

The mutative process

and brain wipe...

caused their minds

to turn to mush.

I have found little use for them

except as novelties on my--

well, my children's show,

currently rated number two?

Number two.

What the devil

are these finger men?

Oh. They're called Thumb-thumbs.

Very capable robots.

All thumbs. Useless.

FLOOP:
Mr. Lisp,

I think you'll enjoy this.

Through that door,

an awesome power will emerge.

You will have but a moment

to disarm it.

In exactly ten seconds.

Seven...

Five...

Three...

FLOOP:
One.

[Creaking]

Johnny?

Uhh!

[Lisp groaning]

- You hesitated.

- I had to. He's my son.

Are you sure?

FLOOP:

Actually, I designed him.

I built him!

His name is...

X-5-2-4-9-5, the second.

This is your big idea?

Robot kids

that look like my children.

The president's daughter?

An almost-exact replica.

Sometimes in order

to think big...

you have to think small.

FLOOP:
Through

physio-electrical imaging...

I can make them

look like anyone...

yet the cunning

and intelligence...

of the world's greatest

espionage agents...

all rolled into tiny packages

I call "Spy Kids."

Tell me, Spy Kids...

with your vast

stores of knowledge...

what are four of the five

physiological indications...

that a human being is lying?

[Speaking in robot language]

They're not quite finished.

Missing one crucial element.

Missing what?

Their brains.

These buckets of bolts

will never pass as children!

We have a schedule to keep,

Floop--

a window of opportunity

that's closing fast!

We will be back in two days

to pick up our army...

or we'll take whatever

you do have, cut our losses...

and lay your entire

silly empire to waste!

No more time.

Escort Mr. Lisp

back to his chopper, children.

Ow! Ow!

- That was brilliant, sir.

- Thank you, Minion.

Now all I have to do

is make them work for real.

LISP:
Ow!

- You're going where?

- On assignment.

Several OSS agents are missing,

including Donnagon.

No ransom, no demands.

They just disappeared.

After nine years,

you are accepting an assignment?

- Why?

- In a word, Devlin.

Devlin himself called?

GREGORIO:

He called, asked me to go in.

I'm going with you.

Ingrid, you're always looking

to go on another mission...

but we have children now.

GREGORIO:

We can't both leave.

I want to go on an adventure.

I want to save the world.

Again? Honey, it's old.

If it wasn't for Donnagon

and the other agents...

I would be turning

this mission down myself.

GREGORIO:
I mean, clearly.

You're gonna turn me down?

Me?

Spy boy.

[Whispering]

Ingrid, Ingrid...Ingrid.

[Clears throat]

What--what about the children?

- Uncle Felix!

- Uncle Felix!

Hey, churros, how are you?

Last time I saw you,

you were this big.

You're shrinking. What's up?

Here, take this bag.

Thanks for coming

on short notice, guy.

That's what families are for.

That's what I hear, anyway.

Do I know you?

[Engine starts]

- Feels, uh--

- Like old times?

[Whispers] Yeah.

INGRID:
S-4-1-4

to Santa Cecilia...

on assignment to Bond.

COMPUTER VOICE:

Missing OSS operatives.

Agents Ingrid

and Gregorio Cortez en route.

Well, it's good

to hear those names again.

- Good evening, Ms. Gradenko.

- Hello, Greg.

- Ahem.

- And Mrs. Cortez.

Updates.

GRADENKO:
They're being loaded

into your central now.

GREGORIO:
Scan the area.

[Whispers] All right.

Why don't we call them?

They'll be getting up

for school soon.

They should know

what we're up to.

Ingrid.

You're right.

Oh, our first time out

in nearly a decade...

and all we can do

is think about the children.

You should see

OSS escort, Agent--

[Scrambled transmission]

Repeat the rendezvous point.

[Static]

Believe in yourself.

Picking up a--a TV satellite?

And you,

Gregorio and Ingrid Cortez.

I believe you have something

that I want.

No. I know who that is. That's--

We've got a follower.

Not for long. Watch this.

What's that?

They got us. They got--

Uhh!

And this is what Carmen

would look like as a Fooglie.

[Alarm sounding]

- [Siren sounding]

- Oh, my God.

Is this a fire drill?

Put these on quickly.

We don't have any time to--

[Alarm stops]

Follow me.

Follow me. Come on!

Come on! Follow me!

There's a lot for you to know

and very little time to explain.

Uncle Felix!

The first of which is,

I'm not your uncle.

Your parents

are international spies.

Good ones, but they've

been mostly inactive...

for the last nine years.

What are you talking about?

I was assigned

to protect your family...

but something's gone wrong.

I have to take you

to the safe house.

My parents can't be spies.

They're not cool enough.

That's cool.

FELIX:
According

to the coordinates...

in my locating device,

they're being taken to Asia...

or South America.

Go in there.

I'll be right back.

And if you're not?

Hit the blue button

to seal the door...

and the green button to go.

Is this a joke?

[Muttering]

[Breaking glass]

Cool! Carmen, look!

Carmen!

[Electronic beeping]

Whoa!

You'll have to go

to the safe house without me.

- Go now!

- Felix, look out!

- Yeah! Yeah!

- Find the OSS!

Tell them the Third Brain lives!

You must find--

JUNI:
Felix, behind you!

CARMEN:
What are those things?

JUNI:
Get them!

CARMEN:
Felix! Get them!

[Electronic noises]

Press

the blue and green buttons.

We can't leave Felix behind!

[Crash]

Oh, yes, we can.

Blue to close, green to go.

Quick!

Here's the green button.

Blue button first!

Juni!

You never do anything right!

Blue, then green!

You gotta seal the door!

I can't find the blue!

CARMEN:
Hang on!

JUNI:
What are those things?

I don't know,

but they're catching up!

- Where's the gas pedal?

- No! Don't touch anything!

[Electronic sounds]

You weirdo!

You switched it to manual!

Aah!

JUNI:

How do you work this thing?

CARMEN:
It was programmed

to take us to the safe house.

- Aah!

- Aah!

[Carmen and Juni scream]

Aah!

Juni?

Juni?

Juni, what are you

doing down there?

Help me!

[Screaming]

Hang on! I'm coming to get you!

Uhh!

[Electronic beeping]

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