Stage Fright Page #8

in the conversation.

Only there's one slight complication,

my dear:
Jonathan.

You're not, by any chance, thinking

of changing horses in midstream?

Father, is it awful of me?

Not awful, my dear,

just rather a bad bit of timing.

No matter how my feelings

toward him change...

...I still can't let Jonathan down, can I?

Not while he's hiding in our house.

Call yourself an actress? There's your

big scene, if you have the pluck to take it.

You have the law on your arm. All you have

to do is rush in there and shout, "Stop!

That woman is a murderess!"

And then she'll say, "How dare you?"

And you'll say, "I'll dare and dare again.

What about the bloodstained dress,

eh, Miss Charlotte Inwood?"

- And then she'll say...

- Please. This is serious, Father.

- Oh, Eve! There you are.

- I couldn't find you anywhere.

- I've been trying to get rid of my programs.

- I've been too busy talking to sell mine.

Do you think I talk too much?

No. Most women don't talk enough.

- I hate shy women.

- No one could ever call me shy...

Who'll come over to shoot

some lovely ducks?

It will only cost you half a crown,

and it does such good for the orphans.

Who'll come and shoot lovely ducks

here for half a crown?

Only half a crown to shoot lovely ducks!

Eve.

Excuse me.

Look, Eve, hold everything.

I have an idea.

Get Smith into Charlotte's tent,

as near the front as you can.

Go on, quickly.

- What do you say we hear Charlotte sing?

- Oh, do let's.

The murder makes her so interesting.

- You know, I think I'll wait outside.

- But you promised.

- I promised?

- In the taxi.

You said the first thing we'd do would be

to go hear Charlotte Inwood.

Don't you remember?

Do you know? I can't remember.

I must have had some sort of a blackout.

- Oh, do let's hurry. We'll miss her.

- I think she's just dreamy.

Only half a crown to shoot a lovely duck!

You can win a lovely prize!

Heavenly prizes!

Only half a crown to shoot...

Would you like to shoot?

No, no. I hate firearms. I wonder

if I could buy one of those dolls.

- A doll?

- Yes, please.

- Which doll?

- Oh, any doll. That doll.

- I suppose, but you'll have to pay for it.

- I know, but how much, please?

- Well, it's for the orphans.

- Yes, I know, but how much?

- You are sorry for the orphans, aren't you?

- Of course I am, but how much?

We all are, aren't we? Well, I suppose...

...at least four pounds.

- Give me the gun.

- Well, half a crown, then.

- Yes.

- You know. Money first.

- Now, shall I put it in for you?

- Yes, please.

It breaks somewhere here. I can't...

It's rather...

Perhaps I can manage.

Wait a minute. I think you'll have to do

it yourself. I'm not frightfully good.

Be rather careful, won't you?

You know, it goes off.

Got you again, my beauty.

My bird, I think, sir.

Could I have the doll, please?

What did you say?

Good shot, sir.

Well done. I'll get you your doll.

Here you are, sir. Now, then,

who's going to shoot lovely ducks?

Would you like to shoot lovely ducks?

- Yes. Half a crown's worth.

- You sure that's enough?

Oh, yes, certainly. Yes, I don't need

any more. I very seldom miss.

Oh, got it at last. Could I have

the doll, please?

I'm sorry, sir, but I'm afraid that's mine.

What did you say?

Nothing at all.

- Could I have the doll, please?

- Well done. I'll go and get it for you.

It is rather nice, I think,

to have won it, don't you?

You did earn it that time. They're lovely

dolls. They're fully dressed. Fully.

Thank you very much.

Now, who's going to come and shoot lovely

duck over here for only half a crown?

We're having such fun over here shooting

duck for only half a crown!

Eve.

Eve.

I'm sorry.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Doris. Doris!

Miss Tinsdale!

Come and give a hand here.

What are you waiting for?

I'm sorry, sir.

Do you think there's anything between

Cooper and Miss Inwood?

But Eve hasn't been near for days.

Doris! Miss Tinsdale!

We got away as quickly as possible,

and here we are.

And that's the story of the short

and stormy life of Doris Tinsdale.

It is in many respects a sad one,

but, one hopes...

...not entirely without usefulness.

The next thing is to wait

for the arrival of Mr. Ordinary Smith...

...with his posse to arrest

the whole boiling lot of us.

Well, you think I should give myself up,

is that it?

Yes, I should, shouldn't I? The longer

I stay here, the worse it will be for you.

But I won't give up. There must be

a way to get at Charlotte.

Now, I've made a nice hot toddy

for you, Mr. Robinson.

There's nothing like it for a cold,

is there?

Thank you.

Isn't it dreadful? Mr. Robinson hasn't been

able to stir out of his room since he arrived.

These spring colds are really frightful.

Oh, by the way, Eve, Mr. Smith

is downstairs and wants to see you.

I think it would be such a good idea...

...if I made Mr. Robinson a nice,

hot mustard plaster.

I wonder if he's got a temperature.

I've broken my thermometer, but you could

easily run to the chemist's...

How long have you been

Miss Inwood's maid?

As I think you know, we've been anxious

to ask Doris Tinsdale a few questions.

- I can explain...

- Did you talk to Jonathan Cooper last night?

- No.

- Did you see him?

- Yes.

- Where?

On his way to Miss Inwood's dressing room.

He was there when she went up to change.

I listened at the door and overheard

him say something about...

...a bloodstained dress belonging to her.

And then suddenly, she became afraid.

Do you hear? Afraid.

When you took Sergeant Loomis

up to the room...

...you presumed Cooper to be still there?

Well, I didn't know.

No, you didn't know,

but you had a pretty fair idea.

Why didn't you tell Loomis?

Then you did a very neat fainting fit, which

probably allowed Cooper to get clear away.

Don't talk like that.

I can't bear it.

I don't understand it.

- How could you behave like that?

- But I can explain.

I don't think that's necessary.

In my job, I find a woman goes to almost

any length to protect her lover.

But it's not like that.

It's not like that at all.

I thought I was in love with Jonathan...

...but I'm not anymore.

But it doesn't mean I won't go on

helping him, as I would any innocent man.

It's not for you to decide whether he's

innocent or not. You leave that to the law.

The point is, you put yourself

and your father...

...in a very serious position

by this infernal amateur meddling.

How I'm going to get you out of it,

I don't know.

But you do want to get us out?

In spite of the fact you made such

a fool of me, you mean.

Your acting in the taxi

was extremely clever.

I wasn't acting in the taxi.

I fell in love with someone,

and all my plans went out the window.

When we were in the taxi together, I felt

as though I were on a great golden cloud.

I told Father I didn't want to go on

with this. I wanted to tell you everything.

But he had an idea about

a bloodstained doll, and I had to put it off.

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