Stan Helsing Page #7
I just wanna go home
I know the words to
this song are real
But, oh, I just wanna go home
I know he's talking about
the way I feel
And I just wanna go home
Listen, baby
I know we had to try
To reach up and touch
the sky, baby
Whatever happened to you and I?
But I just wanna go home.
Tough. It's tough... tough call.
Now you know how it works...
the town decides.
How many of you think that
Stan and his friends
were the best?
Yay!
Now how many of you felt that
the monsters were the best?
Aw, well,
I'm sorry, monsters.
They're admittedly a little biased,
you understand.
Wait wait wait.
You heard Kay. We won fair and square.
There is no fair and square.
Uh, Stan?
Do something, Stan.
Do something.
I'm gonna bring out the hardware.
- Do you need a hand?
- No, I got it.
Ooh, I got it.
Ahhh!
Well, that was
completely ineffective.
Hmm.
I... I feel like I should tell you, um...
I got a little thirsty earlier,
so I refilled your weapon
with the water hose
from outside.
- You drank the holy water?
- It was delicious!
Could have used this information
a minute ago.
Ahh.
The scroll!
Great, it's a joke.
I thought it'd be more of a clue.
I think you're both right...
it's a joke and a clue
on how to deal with
these monsters.
- I don't get it.
- I don't get it either.
No, guys, I think I can read this.
Yeah, I think it says that
the monsters have weaknesses.
Okay okay, Stan Helsing!
You've had your fun.
Now get ready to
taste your own blood!
- Ahh!
- Ooh!
There! Check it out!
That really hurt.
You wanted me to get involved?
Well, I'm getting involved.
Wait, no, please.
Please please.
I don't see how this is
gonna help, but all right.
Oh, not me? Okay.
Ow!
My God.
I have no weaknesses, mortal.
We're not gonna go that easy.
Oh, actually, you two
have the same weakness.
Teddy... condiments, please.
Coming right up, Stan my man!
Whoo!
Sounds like Sammy Boy finally
got his raw meat.
Got his raw meat!
Let's set this on shred!
Yeah!
Hello? Hi.
Ha. Looks like no one's
getting blown tonight.
Ahhh!
And what's my weakness?
Dude, you're a doll.
Announcer over radio:
Go for the goal!
Blue 69,
hut hut hut!
Here's the kick!
In the air.
It's good!
You did it!
You got rid of the monsters!
Your cab is waiting
for you outside.
Here.
You've earned it,
Stan Van Helsing.
Freak.
Come back! Come back!
We need you.
Thanks for visiting
Stormy Night Estates!
West gate.
An ice-cream truck? That's a new one.
No, I can't say I've ever seen
a Rocket Sucker with balls.
Oh, hey look, it's the mask
that altar boy gave you.
Oh. Mask.
So does it alter how I look?
I think he meant it would alter
how you look at things.
Oh.
Stop the cab, please!
Yeah!
You know what I'm thinking?
- Lap dance?
- Well, I was gonna say a kiss,
but we can skip right to
the lap dance if you want to.
Oh my oh...
Oh, I'd better make sure you're okay.
Oh, no, you're so sick.
Oh, you're so sick.
Whoo!
Welcome to my world, b*tch.
Take it one time
Yeah yeah, uh-huh
Do we gotta say it again?
Ain't nothing goin' to change
What we got is lockdown
We run the game
and that's right
People wanna get on down
and get down
People wanna
let loose and let loose
'Cause you know
that the beat is sick
Make you wanna
get down with it
Yeah, yo
I eliminated the middle man,
the child genius
Growing up with a fan
like nothing in the middle, man
I gotta do this for
my daughter and my little man...
Oh, yeah, squeeze your face.
Who's a bad boy?
Who's a bad...
Yeah! Yeah, you're my bad boy!
You're my bad boy!
Everybody can do it,
you know Scribble can
Went from the top to the bottom
to the top again
And ain't no stopping him
'Cause he the one to check
my studio tan, man
I ain't seen the sun
in five weeks...
Hey, Mom.
That's right.
I'm in a stripper costume.
I'm giving a lap dance. I've done
dirty dirty things in this movie.
You're gonna be so proud of me.
Where that music coming from?
From my heart, just a start,
there's a reason...
Wait, are there any
black people in this movie?
Wait, we're in it.
I'm in it!
Tick tickety, don't quit,
but do we gotta say it again?
Ain't nothing going to change
What we got is lockdown
- We run the game...
- Take this right, take this right!
People want to get on down
and get down...
This is Mockingbird Lane.
It takes...
- One more time.
- Do it again, do it again.
Do it again.
Here we go. Shut up.
Shut up. Here we go.
Take this right, take this right!
Oh.
Ahh.
One more.
It's so stupid!
Stan Helsing?
I thought you said Van Helsing.
Next thing I know you're
gonna tell me that's not Superman.
Get you high but too much
and you might choke on the words
Please stop frontin' like
you're taking the crown
You're really waitin' around
till I'm hingin' the town
Oh! Tick tock, you don't stop
To the... tick tock, you don't stop
To the...
tick tock, you don't stop
To the... tick tickety,
you don't quit
But do we gotta say it again?
Ain't nothin' going to change
What we got is lockdown
We run the game
and that's right
People wanna get on down
and get down
People wanna
let loose and let loose
But you know
that the beat is sick
You make me want to
get down with it
That's right,
straight running the game full stop
Third verse, catch it
fresh with the free flow
Hands up in the air,
put 'em up for my people
If you're still wondering about
the numbers that we sow
Just bought a house, motherf***er,
it's free ho
Not Lisa Loeb
but got the #1 single
Come a long way from
them radio jingles
Had to hustle and flow,
keep that on the d-low
Stay humble, showing off's
not in my "stilo"
We just sitting together now,
sittin' in the king's throne
Even got coated platinum
buttons on my ringtone
Producing and continuin' to jam,
bringing my team home
Peter Jackson can now
witness King Kong
Looking forward for daylight,
Chinese playing ping-pong
Laughing at the competition,
whacking at wind songs
Keep it poppin', I ain't stoppin',
won't be long
Ride it to the top
like I ain't even been gone
Tick tock, you don't stop
To the... tick tock, you don't stop
To the...
tick tock, you don't stop
To the... tick tickety,
you don't quit
But do we gotta say it again?
Ain't nothin' going to change
What we got is lockdown
We run the game
and that's right
People wanna get on down
and get down
People wanna
let loose and let loose
But you know
that the beat is sick
You make me want to
get down with it
That's right, straight running
the game full stop
Get get, uh, get, get down
Get get get get,
get down
Get get,
uh, get, get down
Get get, uh, get, get down
Oh, straight running the game
Full stop,
straight running the game
Full stop, straight running the game
Straight running the game,
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"Stan Helsing" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/stan_helsing_18740>.
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