Standby

When you play the game of life,

you've got trouble, you've got strife

Jack o' Diamonds is a hard card to find

Life's like a game of cards,

but it's very, very hard

Jack o' Diamonds is a hard card to find

Jack o' Diamonds

Jack o' Diamonds, Diamonds

Is a hard card to find

Jack o' Diamonds

Jack o' Diamonds, Diamonds

Is a hard card to find

Jack o' Diamonds

Jack o' Diamonds, Diamonds

Is a hard card to find

Jack o' Diamonds

Jack o' Diamonds, Diamonds

Is a hard card to find

Well, they say that ace is high,

but I know that that's a lie

Jack o' Diamonds is a hard card to find

The Queen of Hearts is way above

'cause her heart is singing love

Jack o' Diamonds is a hard card to find

Jack o' Diamonds

Jack o' Diamonds, Diamonds

Is a hard card to find

Jack o' Diamonds

Jack o' Diamonds, Diamonds

Is a hard card to find

Diamonds is a hard card to find

Diamonds is a hard card to find

There you go, lads! First one's on me.

- Thanks, Paul.

- Cheers.

I definitely missed a couple

of notes in that solo.

I'm tellin' ya, I didn't notice.

- Three rum and coke, please.

- Comin' right up.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Nice set.

- Thanks a lot.

I like your glasses.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- Not too hipster?

- It's a fine line.

So you're into skiffle?

Yeah. Yeah, well,

didn't have the hair for disco.

- What about you?

- Yeah, love it.

- Really?

- Who wouldn't!

It's not everyone's thing,

but my folks used to play it

all the time, Lonnie Donegan...

She is so great.

Yeah. Right.

- What?

- Nothing. Just...

Lonnie Donegan was a bloke.

Oh, right, yeah.

- I mean, it's no big deal.

- Sure.

- It was nothing.

- I know.

- Cool.

- Yeah.

- Great.

- You know what? It's fine.

Forget it.

A**hole!

You know, somewhere

the ghost of Lonnie Donegan

is wondering why you have

a dick and he hasn't.

Yeah, we're not doing gigs

like this for the money, man.

Do your girlfriends know that, do they?

Just want a bit of honesty.

Is that too much to ask?

Every relationship starts off

with at least one lie.

- You're tellin' me?

- You know what I mean.

For every 'Puppy Love', there's a hundred

'Heard it Through the Grapevine'

or 'Yesterday' or... 'The Sign'.

Ace of Base.

Read the lyrics, man.

It's deeper than you think.

Why can't people be honest

right from the start?

If you have to lie to keep the relationship

goin', then what is the point, okay?

- Save yourself the tears.

- You've had a rough time of it lately.

- It's time to... get back in the saddle.

- Paul, you're his old man. Say something.

- Alan will know when the time is right.

- Thank you.

Maybe stop tellin' 'em

you live with your dad.

What am I gonna do?

Put a table cloth over ya?

Most women expect

a few white lies at the start.

- Here we go.

- Here's the bottom line:

no girl wants a basket of your dirty

underwear on the first date date

and if they do, it's only because

their knickers are even scuzzier than yours

and you do not want to go down

that spiral, my friend.

The night is young, you know?

Let's see what happens.

Good luck.

- So, how's the day looking?

- Busy enough.

They rang in with one free room.

A couple of others around, but not many.

Brilliant. Remind me again

what our job is?

We love Dublin.

Thanks, mum.

- Morning, Beatrice.

- Morning, darling.

- Doesn't he work in the pharmacy?

- He gives me discount on nicotine patches.

Next.

- City centre?

- No!

- Grafton Street?

- No!

It just kept raining 24 hours a day!

How do you do anything here?

And the price of your sandwiches!

Where do I begin?

I'm sure I went to school with you.

- Your name's Alan, right?

- Yeah.

So, for kids?

Next.

How about I just write down

Bono's address?

- Croke Park?

- No.

- Departures.

- Yes!

- Upstairs.

- Gracias!

Meant to say, I think there's something

over there for ya. Just arrived.

Just a bit of fun.

Yeah, yeah, it's...

You had me fooled there for a second.

So?

I go for dinner with this guy

the other night.

- The pharmacy guy?

- Oh, please!

No, this guy, he shows me

a picture of his car on his phone.

It's a 1.9 litre Mazda.

It's a 1.9 litre Mazda!

What is wrong with men here?

Mam.

You Irish are f***ed up.

Jesus Christ.

I need an ATM machine.

Sure, yeah,

it's just across the hall there.

I need a room.

Any kind of room. I don't mind.

- I can't see it.

- It's right there.

Where? I can only see a shop over there.

Are you saying it's in the shop?

Should I ask them where it is?

Next.

Am I talking to myself?

Where is it? Where?

There. Right there.

I think my colleague

might be able to help you.

Okay.

Hey!

Hey!

So you didn't totally disappear

off the planet, then?

- Still here.

- You always said Ireland was small.

Yeah, I did warn ya.

- We should probably hug or something.

- Yeah, don't mind.

Okay.

- Are we hugging?

- Sorry. I thought you didn't want to.

- Definitely. Or whatever.

- Okay.

You're more hands on than the Paris

tourist office, I'll give you that.

I've just got to run down

to the bank before lunch.

There was a message for ya.

Thanks.

So... Paris? Did you say Paris?

- Job interview there.

- Cool.

If I get it.

And you work here?

- Yeah, it's grand, you know.

- Where's the toilets?

They're right over there.

Just down there.

That's great. You're doing well.

What are you doing here?

We had an electrical problem en route.

So the plane had to land here.

I'm on standby for a flight tonight

or tomorrow, but I need a room.

- Do you guys do that here?

- Just say the word.

Christ! Sorry!

Flynn's Hotel. They have a room.

It's here.

Don't... It's... I can...

Nah. Nah.

Thanks.

Next.

I should get out of your way.

- Happy Valentine's Day.

- You too.

So you do what to this girl?

We worked together about eight years ago.

I was on a student visa in the States.

You love her?

There was talk of me staying,

maybe getting hitched.

Married.

Do you have to do this

with every girl you met?

It was for a Green Card

to keep me working there.

- You were going to pay to marry her?

- Why the hell would I do that?

Jesus Christ! Your English is sh*t!

Be f***ing clearer?

We wanted to keep things going between us,

you know. See if we had something.

- The Green Card was her idea.

- And you f***ed it up?

Why do you think it was me

that f***ed it up?

It's 50/50.

More than likely, it's you, no?

We were both twenty. Okay? Very twenty.

- What does it matter now anyway?

- Maybe this is a second chance.

It could be fate.

- You always say you don't believe in fate.

- Yes, because I have thought about it a lot.

You? You could definitely

believe in this bullshit.

Look, it's not like I haven't been able

to stop thinking about her all these years.

I have. I just haven't been able

to forget her either.

And she is somewhere

out there right now.

I didn't exactly leave things

on the best of terms back in the day.

You should've brought her to your place.

Who know what happens?

She's probably got a boyfriend anyway.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes