Standby Page #2

- You're so stuck in your pants!

- I'm not stuck in my pants.

Every day you're closer to dying alone with

nothing but a blanket of sh*t around you.

- A blanket of...

- A blanket of sh*t, Alan!

That's great. Lovely thing to say to me.

- How's the head?

- Grand.

Hola, Beatrice.

I was thinking about our gig last night.

Maybe we need a new band photo.

What's wrong with the one we have?

Well, I just think we've moved on

from our hillbilly goth phase.

True. Talking of changes...

maybe it's time we started

playing weddings.

You want our band to play Sting, is that

what you want? Fields of f***in' Gold!

Come on, man, it's been over a year now.

It's not about that. If we go down that road,

there's no more real gigs left.

And you know that, right?

Is that what you want?

We could all do

with a bit of extra dough.

I've been trying to finish the jacks

in me gaff for the last 12 months.

I don't mind,

but Deirdre's getting tired of the

neighbours watching her do her business.

My sister's got us an easy gig.

It's a grand each.

- I'm not playing weddings.

- I can't hear a word you're saying, man!

- Look, you think about it, yeah?

- I'm not...

I'm not playing...

Thanks very much. Bye.

- Hey!

- Hi!

What are you doin' here?

Well, I just couldn't get

that Post-it out of my mind.

Plus it looks like I might get out of here

tonight which would be amazing.

Cool. Well, that's a shame.

I could've shown you around town

a bit if you were staying longer.

- Guess it wasn't meant to be.

- Yeah.

I mean, I don't suppose...

if you want... maybe stay?

What's an evening?

Get a flight tomorrow.

Well, that's a little presumptuous.

I mean...

how do you know

I don't have responsibilities?

Oh, do you?

Nothing comes to mind.

I think I owe you a night out.

No funny business, I promise.

- Then I'm definitely going home.

- Hi, can I help you?

Hi. I'm on standby

for a flight to New York.

I was told I might be able

to get out tonight.

Okay, I'll check for you now.

No, sorry, best we can do

is tomorrow morning.

If you had a summer romance

with someone eight years ago

and they wanted you to stay

an extra night to catch up,

would you do it?

- And no funny business?

- No.

Like nothing?

Well, I can.

- Can he?

- A while ago, maybe.

- Yeah. Life's short. Why not?

- Thanks.

Sure there's no other flights?

I'm kidding.

Or if you slip me 10 euro, I can

get you on a first class seat tonight.

- What?

- I'm kidding also.

Alright.

Bye.

Just so you know, I live with my dad.

I know it's not a big deal, but...

Who doesn't live

with their folks these days?

- You do?

- No! No!

I didn't... I didn't mean...

That sounded like I...

- Fine. It's fine.

- I just...

A lot of my friends ended up in houses

they couldn't pay for and...

- had to move back home.

- Right.

It's just... It's super common,

that's what I'm saying.

You're right. It's all around, you know.

Well, this... definitely...

a temporary thing.

The...

- Living with my dad.

- Oh, right!

- Call it.

- You just say, 'Call'.

- Then call me.

- You want me to ring ya?

You know what I mean!

Here's the man with the plan.

- Alright, Alan?

- Howya, lads.

That's not all he's got.

- This is Alice.

- Hey, guys!

It's alright. She's American.

Okay.

Okay, well, I'll just show you

to your quarters.

There's beers in the fridge

if you want them.

- Okay, great.

- Won't be there for long though!

Fiver says he blows it.

- Some kind of poker night out there?

- Divorced men's support group.

They mainly play poker.

- I'll sleep on the couch.

- Okay.

Great.

No way! You still play barefoot?

I never play barefoot.

I remember your whole sensitive

musician schtick you had going on.

I bet there's not a single Depeche Mode

track among all these records.

If you're gonna love a band, it has to be

based around more than one or two singles.

One or two?

- So it's been...

- Eight years.

Our twenties.

Yeah. How was it for you?

I was on high terror alert

for most of it.

Mainly because some of my friends decided

they had to have babies, like, right know,

- which freaked me out.

- Right.

What about you?

No babies, but it's definitely

had its moments.

Oh, is there somewhere

I could charge this? I just...

I'm supposed to hear about the job.

I don't want to miss the call.

Yeah, sure.

That's the main character.

His name is Victor.

The writer's this French guy, and they

want somebody to illustrate the books.

I'm one of the last two up for the gig.

Could be a big break, finally.

So, what's the story with Victor?

He's one of these kids

that reads everything.

So this mysterious mobile library

comes to his town

and they tell him there's one book left

that he hasn't read,

but that he's not allowed.

So he steals the book and it turns out

that it's a biography of his own life

from the future where he's basically

the most hated man in the world.

That's a bit rough.

And so he's got to try and avoid

this destiny and shape a new one, but...

it turns out it's easier said than done.

That's him fighting the forces of fate.

There's also a seagull named Charles,

who helps him out.

It's basically Harry Potter

but with wine bars.

So what happens in the end?

Not for another ten books.

This is just showing what else I can do.

Life drawings.

This is my apartment.

He just happened to be there?

That's Brian. We're seeing each other.

- He's a lawyer.

- Clearly.

He's actually quite shy.

Oh, right. Not the talkative,

naked lawyer type?

Well, you seem to have it all

figured out, Alice.

You have a girlfriend?

Yeah.

Good for you. What's she like?

Good, grand.

I could draw you some detailed

matchstick figures of her if you like.

That's alright. Wait a second.

You guys don't have some romantic evening

planned? I don't want to crash anything.

No, we don't really celebrate

Valentine's Day.

But you give each other cards?

Yeah. That's just a bit of fun.

- Maybe this was a bad idea.

- No.

No, no, no, no, it's cool. I will give her

a call to see if she's around.

And... you know, we can hook up.

- You're sure?

- Absolutely, yeah.

Okay. I'll just...

I guess I'll just change.

Okay, grand.

Hey, Alan.

It's really good to see you again.

Yeah, you too.

I panicked. Alright?

No, no, no, this is what happens

when I put myself in this kind of situation.

I need your help.

Forty Euros, a meal

and a taxi fare home.

And all the cigarettes

that you can smoke.

Thanks. Thank you.

- Here, moneybags!

- What do you want?

Change in fifties.

Here, grab us one of mine, will ya?

Yep.

Who's the bird?

They can't keep their hands

off me, you know.

- Since when?

- Since forever.

Who is she?

We worked together a few

summers ago in Martha's Vineyard.

She's only here for a couple of hours.

Her flight's in the morning.

All part of the service now, is it?

- Beers in the fridge.

- Oh, thanks, cool.

Would you f***in' stop!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes