Stardust

A philosopher once asked,

"Are we human

because we gaze at the stars,

"or do we gaze at them

because we are human?"

Pointless, really-

Do the stars gaze back?

Now, that's a question-

But I'm getting ahead of myself-

Our story really begins here,

at the Royal Academy of Science

in London, England,

where a letter arrived,

containing a very strange inquiry-

It had come from a country boy

and the scientist who read it thought it

might be a practical joke of some kind-

But he duly wrote a reply

politely explaining

that the query was nonsense-

And posted it to the boy

who lived in a village called Wall,

so named, the boy had said,

for the wall that ran alongside it-

A wall that, according to local folklore,

hid an extraordinary secret-

I'm charged with guarding the portal

to another world.

And you're asking me

to just Iet you through?

Yes.

Because, Iet's be honest, it's a field.

Look, do you see

another world out there?

No. You see a field.

Do you see anything nonhuman?

No. And you know why?

Because it's a field!

Hundreds of years,

this wall's been here.

Hundreds of years,

this gap's been under 24-hour guard.

-Well...

-One more word,

and I'II have you up

in front of the village council!

-Well, that sounds rather final.

-Yeah.

-Better just go home, then, I suppose.

-Right, then. Night, Dunstan.

Give my best to your father.

Stop!

Stop!

I don't deal with time-wasters.

Get over here and tend this stall.

I'm off to The SIaughtered Prince

for a pint.

See anything you Iike?

Definitely.

I mean, what I meant was these ones,

the blue ones.

How much are they?

They might be the color of your hair.

Or they might be all of your memories

before you were three.

I can check if you Iike.

Anyway, you shouldn't buy the bluebells.

Buy this one instead.

Snowdrop.

It'II bring you Iuck.

But what does that cost?

This one costs a kiss.

Is she gone?

Follow me.

I'm a princess,

tricked into being a witch's slave.

Will you Iiberate me?

It's an enchanted chain.

I'II only be free when she dies.

Sorry.

Well, if I can't Iiberate you,

what do you want of me?

So, the scientist was wrong-

The wall had successfully done its job

of hiding

the magical kingdom of Stormhold-

The young man returned that night

to his home in England,

hoping that his adventure

would soon be forgotten-

But nine months later,

he received an unexpected souvenir-

This was Ieft at the wall for you.

It says here his name is Tristan.

Tristan? Don't forget the flowers.

Yes. I've got them. Thank you, Father.

Eighteen years passed,

and the baby Tristan grew up

knowing nothing

of his unconventional heritage-

But never mind

how the infant became a boy-

This is the story of

how Tristan Thorn becomes a man,

a much greater challenge altogether-

For to achieve it,

he must win the heart

of his one true love-

-It's him!

-It's him!

Humphrey?

Humphrey?

-No, it's Tristan.

-Oh.

Did I Ieave something at the shop?

No. I just thought I could bring...

Tristan Thorn,

shop boy by day, peeping Tom by night.

Is there no end to your charms?

Humphrey,

there's no need to be Iike that.

Be nice to the poor boy.

Were those for Victoria?

You were always useless at fencing

in school, Tristan.

In fact, I'm having trouble remembering

if there was anything you were good at.

Humphrey, that's enough.

Are you all right?

Yeah. Yeah, fine.

-Want some breakfast?

-No, I'm really Iate for work.

-Are you all right?

-Yeah. Fine. Why?

Oh, I don't know.

Last night, how'd it go?

Oh, really good. Really, really good.

Hello, Tristan.

-Victoria.

-Pound of sugar, please.

-Yes.

-Let's see, a bag of flour, a dozen eggs.

Oh, Iook, I'm sorry about Iast night.

Humphrey was really rude.

I also need a sack of potatoes

and some chocolate, please.

May I perhaps see you tonight?

No, but you may walk me home.

Now?

Yes. Yes, I can.

Father, I Iost my job.

Father, I don't... I Iost my job. I'm sorry.

-Father...

-You Iost your job.

Yes, so I heard.

Father, I'm sorry. I...

Maybe Mr. Monday was right.

Maybe I am deluding myself.

-I'm not good enough for Victoria.

-He said that? That's poppycock.

You really want to know

how it went Iast night?

Yeah.

Not good.

Come on. I'm wasting my time.

I'm not Iike Humphrey.

Tristan, I can tell you that every man

I ever envied when I was a boy

has Ied an unremarkable Iife.

So you don't fit with the popular crowd.

Now, I take that as a very good omen.

-Tristan, I clearly said...

-I know. You told me not to come.

I have something for you. A surprise.

No...

It's not my birthday for another week,

you know.

-I've never had champagne before.

-Yeah, me, neither.

My God! This is delicious!

How did... Well,

how does a shop boy afford all of this?

I'm not a shop boy.

God! I heard. I'm sorry.

What are you going to do now?

No. I mean, I'm not a shop boy.

I was just working in a shop.

And now I'm not.

Now I'm free to Iive my Iife as I wish.

This must have been all your savings.

So? I can make more.

That's the beauty of it.

I never intended to stay in Wall,

Victoria.

There's a big world out there,

I'm gonna make my fortune.

Now you sound just Iike Humphrey.

He's quite a traveler.

Do you know he's going all the way

to Ipswich just to buy me a ring?

Ipswich?

Victoria, I'm talking about London

or Paris or...

A ring? Why is he...

What kind of a ring?

The word is he's planning to propose

to me on my birthday.

He's going to...

And you're gonna say yes.

I can't exactly say no

after he's gone all the way to Ipswich.

"AII the way to Ipswich"?

Victoria, for your hand in marriage,

I'd cross oceans or continents.

-Really?

-Yes.

Victoria, for your hand in marriage,

I would go to

the gold fields of San Francisco

and bring you back your weight in gold.

I would.

I'd go to Africa and bring you back

a diamond as big as your fist.

Or I'd go to the Arctic

and I'd slaughter a polar bear

and bring you back its head.

A polar bear's head?

You're funny, Tristan.

People Iike you and people Iike me,

we're just not...

I should be going. It's really Iate.

Well, hold on, then.

Let's at Ieast finish the champagne.

Okay.

Had Tristan known then

how the stars watched Earth,

he'd have shuddered at the very thought

of an audience to his humiliation-

But, fortunately for him,

nearly every star in the sky

was at that moment

Iooking in earnest at the land

on the other side of the wall,

where the King of all Stormhold

lay on his deathbed,

which was a coincidence

because it was the King's final act

that would change the course

of Tristan's destiny forever-

Where is Secundus?

He's on his way, Father.

Then we shall wait.

Sorry I'm Iate, Father.

I came as swiftly as I was able.

Septimus.

Primus.

Tertius.

So, to the matter of succession.

Of my seven sons,

there are four of you today still standing.

This is quite a break with tradition.

I had 12 brothers.

And you killed them all for your throne

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