Stardust Page #2

before your father, the King,

even felt poorly.

We know, Father.

You're strong and courageous.

And cunning. Most importantly, cunning.

-Secundus.

-Yes, Father?

Look through the window.

Tell me what you see.

I see the kingdom, Father.

The whole of Stormhold.

-And?

-My kingdom?

Maybe. Look up.

-Secundus.

-Sextus. Quartus. Quintus.

You're alive. You're...

Stuck Iike this

till the new king is crowned.

I was that close.

Well, at Ieast

you haven't Iost your Iooks.

Oh, please. You're not annoyed

about that whole murder thing, are you?

-I mean, that was 10 years ago.

-Yeah.

Great deal of good it did you, didn't it,

killing me, Secundus?

Because now, of course,

now you are King of all Stormhold.

Oh, sorry. Wait. No, you're not.

You're dead.

Una? Una?

No, Father, it's me, your son.

Tertius.

Where is your sister, Una?

Sorry, Father.

Nobody has seen Una for years now.

-Septimus?

-What?

Tradition dictates the throne must pass

to a male heir.

Exactly, Father.

So why would I kill my sister

when these cretins are still alive?

Indeed.

Therefore, we shall resolve the situation

in a non-traditional manner.

Only he of royal blood

can restore the ruby.

And the one of you that does so

shall be the new King of Stormhold.

Oh, Tristan! A shooting star!

Beautiful.

More beautiful than a fancy ring

from Ipswich?

Victoria, for your hand in marriage,

I'd cross the wall

and I'd bring you back that fallen star.

You can't cross the wall.

Nobody crosses the wall.

Now you're just being silly.

I'm not being silly. I'd do it.

For you, I'd do anything.

My very own star.

It seems we have ourselves

an agreement.

You have exactly one week

or I'm marrying Humphrey.

Mormo! Empusa! Wake up. Now!

-What is it?

-A star has fallen.

Where are the Babylon candles?

You used the Iast one, Lamia,

Perhaps we can obtain another.

Perhaps we can obtain another.

Has your mind become

as decrepit as your face, Empusa?

You speak as if such things

are freely available.

I know, sister, I merely thought...

You'd have us hunting

for a Babylon candle

while some other witch finds our star.

Fool. There's no time to waste.

If we must retrieve it on foot,

then we shall.

Mormo, we need information.

If these divinations are correct,

the fallen star Iies 1 00 miles away.

Four centuries we've waited for this.

What hardship a few more days?

Which of us shall go, then, to seek it

and bring it back?

-I've his kidney.

-I've his Iiver.

And I've his heart.

You'II be needing

what's Ieft of the Iast star.

-There's not much Ieft.

-Soon, there'II be plenty for us all.

-Dunstan Thorn. Not again.

-It's Tristan, actually.

Oh. You do Iook a bit Iike your father.

And I suppose you intend

to cross the wall as well, do you?

Well, you can forget it. Go home.

Cross the wall as well as who?

No one. Nobody.

Nobody crosses the wall.

You know that!

Everybody knows that!

Yeah... No, no, I know.

I understand. Nobody.

Well, I better just head

for the old homestead, then.

Yeah.

-Right, then. Night, Tristan.

-Good night.

Give my best to your father.

Off you go.

I thought I heard you come in.

Hey, what happened? Are you hurt?

No, I'm fine.

-That Humphrey again?

-No.

Actually, it was the guard.

The guard at the wall.

Tristan, he's 97 years old.

Well, that's given him plenty of time

to practice, then, hasn't it?

Why, may I ask,

were you trying to cross the wall?

I might ask you the same thing.

I have a mother.

I mean, I have a mother.

She could still be alive.

Oh, I hope so. I certainly Iike to think so.

The chain you cut.

Just Iike you said.

And...

And the glass flower.

The flower she sold to you.

She told me it would bring me Iuck.

Thank you.

This was also in the basket.

I've never opened it.

It's addressed to you.

Yep.

"My dearest Tristan, please know that

I only ever wanted the best for you."

Had my mistress allowed it,

I would have kept you in a heartbeat-

My dearest wish is that

we will meet someday-

The fastest way to travel

is by candlelight-

To use it, think of me and only me-

I will think of you every day, for always-

"Your mother."

Well, do you... Do you have a Iight?

Mother?

Oh! Oh, Mother, I'm so... I'm so sorry.

Are you all right?

No, I'm not.

And I'm not your mother, so get off me!

You're... You're not my mother?

Do I Iook Iike I'm your mother?

No.

Sorry.

Well, are you all right?

Do you want some help?

You can help by Ieaving me alone!

AII right.

Oh, my God.

"Light the candle and think of me."

I was. I was thinking of my...

But then Victoria and the star

just popped into...

Oh, excuse me, madam. Sorry.

This may seem strange, but

have you seen a fallen star anywhere?

-You're funny.

-No, really, we're in a crater.

This must be where it fell.

Yeah, this is where it fell.

It is. Or if you want to be really specific,

up there is where

this weird, bloody necklace

came out of nowhere

and knocked it out of the heavens

when it was minding its own business.

And over there is where it Ianded.

And right here, this is where it got hit

by a magical flying moron!

You're the star! You're the star? Really?

Oh, wow. I'm sorry.

I had no idea you'd be a...

May I just say in advance

that I am sorry?

-Sorry for what?

-For this.

Now, if I am not mistaken,

this means you have to come with me.

See, you're going to be a birthday gift

for Victoria, my true Iove.

But of course!

Nothing says romance Iike the gift

of a kidnapped, injured woman!

I'm not going anywhere with you.

Hurry. You should be

on your way now, Primus.

You must find the royal necklace

with the ruby before your brothers.

I should Iike to see you take the throne.

The first benevolent king.

I don't doubt Stormhold would be

a better place under your rule.

Really?

Well, that is fascinating.

-Don't you think, Tertius?

-Yes, indeed.

Prince Septimus! Tertius. Well... Well.

Well, well, I...

Since you're all here,

won't you join me in a toast?

What a very good idea.

To the new King of Stormhold,

whichever of you fine fellows

it might be.

To the new King of Stormhold.

You!

You really thought that you were king?

-You killed the Bishop?

-No, Primus.

I think you'II find that you killed the

Bishop by drinking out of the wrong cup.

Oh, Iook, when you finish wrestling

with your conscience,

may I suggest you return

to your chamber?

Leave the quest for the stone to me.

How have we Iived this way

all these years?

In my absence, I expect you to make it

fit for the queens we are.

When I return with our prize,

all of us shall be young again.

Never fear, my sisters.

I will not fail.

Don't you ever sleep?

Not at night.

May have escaped your notice, genius,

but that's when stars

have rather better things to do.

They're coming out, shining,

that sort of thing.

Yeah, well, it may have escaped yours,

but you're not in the sky anymore.

Coming out is off the agenda.

Shining has been suspended

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