Stardust Memories Page #2

weekends are just absolutely fantastic.

They are getting so popular.

Do you know you're gonna love

our screening facilities?

When I had my Orson Welles weekend

here, you know what he told me?

He said that I had the best sound

and projection system hed ever seen,

bar none. Believe it or

not, he did. That's what he...

This is Mr. Payson, our chairman,

and Mrs. Payson. They adore you.

We love your work. My wife

has seen all your films.

I especially like your early, funny ones.

Dick Lobel. I'm with the

museum film department.

We have a collection of

more than 20,000 prints.

This is my friend Libby.

She thinks you're a genius.

Libby just did a definitive

cinematic study of Gummo Marx.

Interestingly, he's the one Marx

brother that never made any movies.

Hello. A pleasure to have you here.

You're the best. Your workss fantastic.

Here. Read this.

- I think you're absolutely magnificent.

- You're really intense.

We love you!

Hello, Isobel?

Isobel, I'm up here. Jeez, I'm going crazy.

Do you think you can get

up here? Well, I miss you.

In English. Speak to me in English.

Your English is perfect. Don't worry.

Whats the matter? You sound...

You want me to call you

back? Can you not talk?

All right, I'll call you back.

Three little words

Oh, what I'd give for that wonderful phrase

To hear those three little words

That's all I'd live for the rest of my days

And what I feel in my

heart they tell sincerely

No other words can tell it half so clearly

Three little words Eight little letters

Which simply mean I love you

What were you trying to say in this picture?

I was just trying to be funny.

Do you find it very hard to direct yourself?

Hard? No. No, I just have

to resist the temptation

to give myself too many extreme close-ups.

Have you studied filmmaking in school?

No, no, I didn't study anything

in school. They studied me.

I understand you studied

philosophy at school.

No, that's not true. I did take...

I took one course in existential

philosophy at New York University.

And on the final, they gave me 10 questions.

And I couldnt answer a

single one of them, you know.

I left them all blank. I got 100.

Oh, you are marvelous.

You are a genius and...

Good questions. Didn't you think so?

You handled them beautifully.

You're a genius.

One of the most intelligent

films I've seen in many years.

- Can I get a photo, Mr. Bates?

- There he is.

Hi! I just think you're great, and I

just wanted to give you this record.

I'm with the Tuberculosis Association.

- We're doing a benefit...

- There you are. There you are.

Mr. Bates! Mr. Bates, may I

have your autograph, please?

If I could just have 10 minutes of your time,

I'd like to ask you a couple of questions.

- Sure.

- Thank you very much.

I'm doing this piece on the shallow

indifference of wealthy celebrities.

And I'd like to include you. I'd

like to include you in my piece.

I'm starving.

Sandy, there's a phone call for you.

Let me show you where the phone is.

I'm Dr. Paul Pearlman.

I did a paper on you and your

films at a psychiatric convention.

Oh, really?

It was very well received,

youll be happy to know.

- I'm glad to hear that.

- For my own records, tell me,

have you ever had intercourse

with any type of animal?

- With an animal? No, I never... Hello?

- Dr. Pearlman, please!

- Yeah?

- Very good.

- Thank you very much.

- Keep up the good work, and good luck.

- No, I don't think that's fair.

- Mr. Bates, can I have a picture of you?

Over here, Mr. Bates. Thank you so

much. One picture. One more picture.

No, I don't want him to touch the film.

Tell him to come up here

tomorrow and well talk about it.

They can't recut my film.

My name is Claire Schaeffer.

I do work with the blind, and we

have a celebrity auction this month.

If you could donate something,

like an ashtray or...

Sure. It would be no problem at all.

Somebody told me you wear a truss.

An old truss would just be wonderful.

- No, I don't wear a truss.

- Thank you very much.

We went to Israel, and they love you there.

Theyre just crazy about you!

- I'm Jack Abel.

- Hi, how are you?

I teach screenwriting at Columbia.

This is... It's unbelievable!

If I could get you to come and lecture

to my students, youd make me a hero.

I'm not the type that lectures.

For your enjoyment, with

my genuine affection.

Thank you very much.

I really appreciate it.

It's exactly what I need.

People are always telling

me how much we look alike.

I can see that.

If you could take my name,

maybe next time you do a...

- This is a real madhouse!

- I have a suggestive item of food.

Daisy and I were gonna go grab a beer.

- If youd like to come with us, wedd love it.

- Oh, God, I would love it.

- Would you?

- Yeah.

There's a little roadside place...

This is unbelievable. I

don't know what's going on.

Can I talk to you about an

idea for a film I have...

- This is not the place. Really.

- Do you have a moment, please?

It's a comedy based on that whole Guyana mass

- suicide thing.

Sandy, this is what I did

in vaudeville years ago.

I did this in vaudeville.

Give me the

spotlight, give me the stage,

and leave the rest to me

Give me a hat and cane, an

old refrain, a sweet melody

And so I dream of old Brazil

Where hearts were entertaining June

We stood beneath an amber moon

And softly murmured ssomeday soon

We kissed and clung together

Then tomorrow was another day

Comedy is hostility.

It's rage.

I don't have to give you that clichd speech.

What is it that the comedian says

when his jokes are going well?

II murdered that audience. I killed

them. They screamed. I broke them up.

So what are you saying?

You're saying that someone like myself,

or Laurel and Hardy, or Bob Hope are furious?

Furious, or latent homosexual.

It's hidden behind the jokes.

- I can't speak for those guys, but...

- Jack!

Can't we? We're only theorizing.

What do you do, Daisy?

Are you a teacher, too?

- No. No, I don't...

- She's a brilliant violinist.

- Really? Is that so?

- That's an exaggeration.

- Really?

- She's with the philharmonic.

- Okay, that's very impressive.

- Yeah, well, I sit way in the back,

you know, like one of those...

- Get you some Camels?

- Yeah, thanks.

Excuse me.

So can I ask you a question?

Is it my imagination,

or have you been kind of

looking at me all night?

I mean, tell me if I'm wrong. I don't know.

Does it bother you?

No, no, no, I mean, I was

just wondering, you know...

I've never seen such a sexy classical

violinist before. I mean it.

Usually theyre escaped Hungarians.

No, I'm from Winnetka, Illinois.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.

It's funny, ccause you remind me of somebody.

It's the strangest thing.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

It's not that you look like her or anything.

It's just that there's some

kind of odd sense that I have...

Really?

And now, the Brooklyn Boys Club

is happy to present The Amazing Sandy.

Incredible.

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