Stardust Memories Page #3

The boys a natural. Ivve

never seen anything like it.

A born magician.

Well, he should be.

He sits in his room alone

and practices for hours.

Are you sure he's

not doing something else?

Oh, he does that, too.

I found these pictures hidden in his drawer.

It causes him great guilt. I

don't know if I can ever cure him.

I've been treating him for years already.

Thanks for a nice time.

I'll see you guys.

See you around. Good night.

Hey, Sandy. Sandy.

I hate to hassle you or anything, but

I just... I got to tell you, I love you.

- I mean, I love your work.

- Thank you.

I'm an actor. Right now I'm working

as a busboy, but really, I am an actor.

Anyway, I don't wanna bug you or anything,

I just wanted to give you

a picture for your file.

You should mail this to my office, you know.

Here's a composite I have of myself.

Yeah, well, you should send

this stuff all to my office.

And a rsum.

Yeah. I'm gonna go to sleep

now, you know, so if you just...

Just a second. I can give you...

Well, here's some reviews, some of the

things the critics have said about me.

- That's from The Jersey Journal.

- That's great. How about...

Here's a picture of me as

Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof.

- I did that in high school.

- Did you? Did you?

Let's see. Here's a rsum.

That's where I did Ensign Pulver.

I worked in regional theater.

Ensign Pulver in Mister Roberts, there.

Hey, I'm crazy about you.

- You don't even know who I am.

- Yeah, but you...

I've just been looking at you all morning.

I got to tell you, you're incredibly

beautiful, whoever you are.

Yeah, it's true. I am. I guess I'm

a little on the beautiful side.

Yeah, and you're real interesting.

I mean, I've been watching you all morning,

you're just sitting off

by yourself and reading.

You got a real strange quality.

Go on, keep going.

You're getting through.

- Yeah. How long you been acting?

- I guess I'm always acting.

Yeah?

- Can I sit next to you?

- Sure. Be my guest.

Yeah? So tell me about yourself. Who are you?

Give me a lot of personal

information immediately cause...

Don't hold anything back.

I mean, are you married?

Are you living with somebody?

I'm just... I'm fascinating,

but I'm trouble.

- Trouble?

- Yeah.

Yeah? You said the right thing.

So, are you free for dinner or

what? What are your plans later?

Don't feel obligated to say yes

because I'm the director of the film.

This is just... I mean,

this is a big coup for me.

I'm a nobody with a one-line

part, and I managed to impress you

just by sitting around

speed-reading Schopenhauer.

Yeah. Do you understand any of that stuff?

No. But I can fake my way

through most situations.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Well, I got to tell you,

I'm fatally attracted to you,

so don't blow it, because, you know...

Well, I'll do my best, and

it hasntt failed me yet.

Your spaghetti could

have used another 20 minutes.

You said al dente. I was giving

you my best shot here. Well, you...

Al dente? That was so crispy.

Come on. You don't want

a limp noodle, did you?

You know, you want my spaghetti

with nice Czechoslovakian sauce,

that's my specialty.

And I suppose it's different.

Yeah. It's a congealed, disgusting spaghetti.

- Where did you learn so much about wine?

- My fathers an expert.

Her father! This is incredible.

What is this guy not an expert in?

He's a tennis player and an antique

connoisseur and a wine expert,

and he's probably gorgeous, right, with

graying temples and the aquiline profile.

- A great-looking man.

- Yeah.

Whenever Mother was away in her sanitarium,

the ladies, they flocked around him.

Yeah, and what about you? Tell me.

Did you have a little crush on him?

You can admit this to me, if you like.

- Sure. We had a little flirt.

- A little, small flirt?

Mother away getting shock treatment

and the only beautiful daughter home.

Long, lingering breakfasts with Dad?

- Is this getting nauseating?

- Yeah. No competition for my mother

because she was very beautiful.

- Your mother?

- That's nice. Yeah.

- Your back is really knotted up.

- I know. It's very tense.

Jesus. What was your mother diagnosed as?

Was she schizophrenic or...

She was schizophrenic, she

was depressive, she was...

I see, the full complement of the nasties.

It's funny, ccause in my family nobody

ever committed suicide, nobody...

This was just not a middle-class

alternative, you know?

My mother was too busy

running the boiled chicken

through the deflavorizing machine

to think about shooting herself or anything.

God. So did you always want to be an actress?

No. I'm not really an actress.

You're good, Dorrie. You have a...

You do. You have a real

interesting quality on the screen.

- You know you're just saying that.

- No, you're wrong. You have...

It's not so.

You have a real charming quality.

You got a real...

You're a natural.

I'm a natural. I'm a

natural at everything I do,

and then I wind up not

being able to do anything.

No, you're wrong. Youvve got real,

genuine charisma on the screen.

It's true. You're sexy.

You've got no confidence, of course,

but you got a real charming

quality on the screen.

- What was that? What was that?

- A pigeon.

- Hey, that's pretty. A pigeon.

- No. It's not pretty at all.

- Theyre wonderful.

- They're rats with wings.

No, it's probably a good omen.

- It'll bring us good luck.

- No, get it out of here.

It's probably one of those killer pigeons.

No. Get something for it to eat. We

can coax it down. What are you doing?

Wait. Wait.

You see, it's got a swastika under it's wing.

Stop that.

I just wanna guide it out of the apartment.

Jeez! I don't want a winged thing

in my house.

We can keep it.

Oh, I'm sorry. Forgive me.

- I'm in the wrong room.

- No, no, no, no, you're right.

This is your room. Isnt this fun?

I tipped the porter so I could meet you.

Oh, Jesus, you're kidding. You're

telling me they let you in here?

- Well, I know, you get this all the time.

- No, I don't.

But, you know, I have a psychic,

and I asked her about you,

and she told me that we were

destined to make it together.

Hey, look, whoever you are,

please, I'm tired. Go away.

I wont stay over.

I mean, I just know you're a Sagittarius,

and Sagittarians get along really

well with Pisces, cause I'm a Pisces.

- And I just think that...

- Will you get out of the bed, please?

Well, wait, here. And I drove all the

way from Bridgeport to make it with you.

Yeah? What is this, the

traditional brownies with hash?

- Is this what you're giving me?

- No. No.

Here's the hash on the side because

I didn't know how much you took.

How much I took? What

is it, hollandaise sauce?

What do you mean, how much I took?

- I mean, you could...

- You got in a car

and you drove a long distance

to go through mechanical sex with a stranger?

- Is this what you do?

- My husband drove me.

- We have a van.

- Your husband? You're kidding.

Is your husband here?

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote