Starlift Page #8

[MEN WHISTLING AND HOOTING]

MAN 1:

Where's Frisco?

Our first bunch of rotation troops

back from combat.

Twelve planeloads of those fellows

coming in at 2O-minute intervals.

MAN 2:

Hey, Carl, let's go.

If you go out there,

we'll never get this gang off the field...

...and we need the busses.

MAN 3:
Lieutenant.

- Excuse me.

No luck, kid.

Rick's plane had already taken off.

Well, guess there's no use

bothering the colonel about it now.

When that dope gets back, if he doesn't

kick himself over the base, I'll do it.

Why, Mike...

...that's the first nice thing

you've said to me all day.

- How about lunch?

- Got any money?

Come on.

You'll be notified

when they leave March Field?

The minute they file their flight plan.

Thanks.

No word yet?

Hey, the Starlift plane is in.

Virginia Mayo is on it.

Anybody else?

Gary Cooper and Phil Harris

and a bunch of others.

But I stopped looking

when Virginia Mayo walked off.

Man, how I'd like to be trapped

in a foxhole with about 12 like her.

What a way to win the Purple Heart.

They all went over to the hospital.

Mayo too.

I was just thinking that, uh...

Hm. That if we went over

to the hospital...

Well, um...

- Come on, Mike.

- Easy, girl.

That's my saluting arm.

Oh, Miss Mayo, Miss Gibson,

would you step in a little closer?

Well, look what I found.

Hi, you pretty things.

- Well, if it isn't Phil Harris.

- You got room for one more, doll?

Sure, come on in.

Okay, you can start shooting, son.

That camera

ain't never had it so good.

Mr. Harris, you're crowding out

Miss Mayo and Miss Gibson.

Do you want them in too?

I'm sorry I usually work alone.

Now, let's see. Now, lay it on us.

I can't get you all in.

Mr. Harris,

would you mind stepping out?

Well, no. Not at all.

This is my bad side anyway.

- Hi, colonel.

- Your turn's coming, Phil.

- Some of the nurses have cameras.

- Oh, yeah? Color or black and white?

Oh, colonel,

is Gary Cooper really downstairs?

- Yes, he was a moment ago.

- Thanks.

Excuse me, mister.

Cooper? I could have them slapping

my face while he's saying "yup."

Don't let her throw you.

Girls will be girls.

I know.

And I wouldn't want it any other way.

- Gin.

- You never shoulve thrown that nine.

He's got two of them stashed away.

You better get some sleep, kid.

Look, the jack is your play.

What's the top card? Eight.

See? Now he's got to discard a nine

and then you go down with two.

Say, mister,

you really know this game.

Look, son, I've been fooling

with them little tickets all my life.

- You don't say.

- Right.

I make so much money playing cards

I can afford to play honest now.

- You've been pretty lucky.

- No, I ain't been pretty lucky.

You gotta understand them

52 little monsters.

Look, I figure a card is like a woman.

Pick it up, study it and just when you're

deciding whether or not to hold it...

...put it down,

somebody else picks it up.

The guy's a philosopher.

- How would you like to play his hand?

- Save your money, I'll just watch.

Oh I'm... I'm quitting anyway.

Make yourself comfortable.

Thanks, but look, stick around...

...and I'll stop after every hand

and explain how I won it.

You know us country boys

could use pointers.

- How much will it cost me?

- We'll just play for fun.

No, my father told me,

"Never play cards for fun."

How about a cent a point?

Well, okay.

I'll take another cent on Turner

if you can stand it.

- Hey, count me in for a cent.

- I'll take two.

Don't leave me out.

I want a penny too.

Sounds like

you all had the same father.

Look, you could lose

a chunk of dough.

So can you.

[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

That's French

for I hate to do this to you, Mac.

I'll risk it. Cut for deal.

- You win, but I'll shuffle.

- We'll shuffle.

You guys must have taken

your basic training in Las Vegas.

Well, where do you go to surrender?

Say, aren't you Phil Harris?

That's what's embroidered

on my shorts.

[PHIL LAUGHS]

Your play, Phil.

[PHIL SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

Sounds like Phil Harris.

- Wanna meet him?

- Yeah, after I meet Virginia Mayo.

Mike, you've got a one-track mind.

That's right.

Now get me to the station.

NELL:
Pardon us, please.

MIKE:
Pardon.

[BAND PLAYING]

Mr. Rogers. What are you doing here?

Well, for one thing, I thought

I'd make sure you got to work tomorrow.

You didn't have to do that.

Besides, I wanted to see

what was going on.

Woman at 3 o'clock.

WOMAN [SINGING]:

I may be wrong

But I think you're wonderful

I may be wrong

But I think you're swell

I like your style, say

I think it's marvelous

I'm always wrong so how can I tell

All of my hats are unsightly

All of my shoes are a crime

lf, dear, in you I picked rightly

It's the very first time

You came along, say

I think you're wonderful

I think you're grand

But I may be wrong

Wish I could trust my emotions

But sometimes I'm not very wise

I get the craziest notions

About the craziest guys

You're big and strong, oh, say

I think you're wonderful

I think you're grand

But I may be wrong

I've heard that all's fair

In love and war

So must you be so polite?

I may have been wrong

Many times before

But I'm all so right tonight

Oh, sergeant, you better close that,

you're creating a draft.

Gee, Miss Wyman,

that was wonderful.

I got the feeling

you were singing just to me.

Well, I could hardly help it.

- Cigarette?

- Oh, yes, thanks a lot.

- Match?

- Oh, thanks a lot.

Marriage?

Thanks a lot.

[PEOPLE LAUGHING]

How long will you be? We're invited

to dinner to the officers' mess.

You go ahead,

I got my own mess right here.

- Sounds like you're stuck.

- Stuck?

I'm climbing all over these guys.

Killing them.

- Gin.

- Oh, no.

Now, you see what you did?

You threw my timing off.

Pour it on him, boys.

- Count them up, curly.

- All right, all right.

Twenty, 3O...

...39, 48.

You're out on all three games.

Somebody's been fooling

with these figures.

- You're keeping the score.

- I don't trust nobody.

[WHISTLES]

Three hundred and eighty-six, sixty.

I'm sure grateful for these lessons.

You don't have to make a pig of yourself

and take a postgraduate course.

Mr. Rogers phoned. He was worried

about your missing dinner.

I told him you were dining with us.

Liver and onions.

I expected bread crumbs...

...ain't that what they feed pigeons?

- Don't be bitter, curly. Deal.

- I'm dealing, I'm dealing.

Mr. Rogers will pick you up

on his way to the theater.

Tell him never mind.

I may have to enlist to get even.

I doubt if I can swallow or not.

My throat's been cut.

Did it get through?

Play.

[BAND PLAYS FANFARE]

Welcome home, fellas.

I'm Randy Scott,

pinch-hitting for Phil Harris...

...who was supposed to be here

emceeing the show.

Terrible thing happened to Phil

up at the hospital.

He kibitzed himself

into a gin rummy game.

Any of you Eighth Army men

ever hear of a fella named Turner?

MEN:

Harris will be sorry.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes