Starter for 10 Page #2

this year's team.

- Why?

- Sorry?

If we lost last year,

why are you still the captain?

Well, because I'm a post-grad

and I've been captain for the last three years.

Yeah, we've lost for the last three years.

Look, let's just crack on, shall we?

In order to qualify, you'll need to answer

And the top three scores

join me, the captain, in this year's team.

I have some lively little questions in there,

so I think you're in for a pretty good time.

But it is against the clock.

So, people, if you're ready.

Let's quiz!

Hi.

- Sorry, I'm late.

- That's fine.

- Can I borrow this?

- Of course you can.

Thank you.

Okay, concentrate. Question six.

Question six is...

Why's she smiling at me?

That's not question six. Concentrate.

Must concentrate.

Look at the paper. Look at the paper.

Don't look at her.

Don't look at her legs,

or the curve of her neck.

Just concentrate. Right. Question sex...

Six. Six.

Hey, handsome.

Would you mind giving me

the answers to three and five?

Thanks.

Cheating.

She wants me to cheat. I can't do that.

With pleasure.

Three is potassium permanganate,

and five is Papua New Guinea.

Support our nurses. Support our nurses.

Brian, can I help you?

I'm here for the team meeting.

- Alice. Hello. Come in.

- Hi.

Brian, you're not on the team.

Alice here beat you.

- Only by one point.

- Well, even so, Brian's still the loser.

Well, loser's a strong word.

He is first reserve.

Shoes off, please. Follow me.

Brian, I am so sorry.

If you hadn't given me those answers,

you'd have been on the team.

Alice, it's no big deal.

- Really?

- Yeah.

All right, but I owe you.

Watts, Bristol.

Sorry, going to have to hurry you.

Is it...

Schubert, Death and the Maiden. Schubert!

Tchaikovsky?

No, I'm afraid

that's not the correct answer. Anyone?

- Salmon, Queens.

- Schubert, Death and the Maiden.

Is correct. That's the sound of the gong.

The winners of this year's grand final

are Queens' College, Cambridge.

Obviously,

I take no pleasure in showing that to you.

But, as someone once wrote,

"To err is human."

Anyone?

Alexander Pope's Essay On Man?

And, you know, I really feel that

with dedication

and good old-fashioned teamwork,

that this could be our year.

Which is why we're all assembled here today.

The Fantastic Four, if you will.

Each with his or her own special powers.

Colin, history, politics.

Lucy, science, medicine.

Alice, art and literature.

And myself

as a sort of floating Renaissance man.

Brian! Coaster, please.

Now, the qualifying heats

are in two weeks' time.

It's untelevised, of course,

but we'll still need to be in good form

if we're to show them what we can do.

- Brian.

- Shall I come along to that?

- That won't be necessary.

- He is first reserve.

- And I'd be more than happy.

- Team members only, Brian.

I'm sure we can manage without you.

I'm so sorry.

Now, quantum mechanics, anyone?

Dear Spencer, just a quick note

to let you know how things are going here.

My housemates are really interesting.

It's great to meet people

from different backgrounds,

and we are all having a really good laugh.

I'm so sorry.

I've also become

increasingly politically active,

and have so far protested against

apartheid, nuclear weapons, nuclear power,

gay bashing

and sexual exploitation of women.

...rather than mere objects

for the sexual entertainment of men.

Did you know that, under the bastard Tories,

seven percent of the country

currently own 84% of the wealth?

It's the same old story. The rich get richer,

and the most

vulnerable in our country suffer.

Anyway, how are you?

How's the job hunt going?

Got anything more permanent,

or are you still signing on?

I know there's not much out there

at the moment, thanks to bloody Thatcher.

But I'm sure something will come up soon.

Hey! Piss off out of here.

Must sign off now, as I've got a lecture.

I'm currently wrestling

with the Romantic poets.

Not literally, of course,

as they have been dead for some time now.

What do the so-called Romantic Poets

mean by the term "Romance"?

It's certainly not hearts and flowers,

though an appreciation of extreme beauty

was a vital source of inspiration.

But the notion of the Romantic poets

as swooning lovelorn fops is a fallacy.

Byron, Wordsworth, Shelley in particular,

were all passionately...

Come on!

- Shouldn't you be at the qualifiers?

- That's the thing.

Colin's been knocked over by a bus.

He's okay, but it means you're on the team.

Yes!

So glad that he's okay.

Fifty questions, 30 minutes.

Conferring is allowed.

And to make the grade,

we need a score of 70 percent or higher.

Excuse me, but we're trying

to do a quiz here and it's against the clock.

It's got to be done sometime.

This man has been sent

from the offices of University Challenge!

So, if we're ready.

Sergeant Troy, Fanny Robin

and Bathsheba Everdene

all appear in which novel by Thomas Hardy?

- Return Of The Native.

- Return Of The Native.

Actually I think it might be

Far From The Madding Crowd.

- Oh, of course it is. Go with Brian.

- Far From The Madding Crowd.

Correct!

Passer Domesticus is the scientific name

for which commonly known bird?

- The common house sparrow.

- Correct.

- Inflammation of the pancreas.

- Correct.

- The Sistine Chapel.

- Is the correct answer.

- The rings of Saturn.

- Correct.

- The 38th parallel.

- Correct.

- They carry their young in pouches.

- Correct.

"My love is like a red, red rose."

- Prime numbers. Diaghilev. The spleen.

- Correct.

The Berlin Airlift. Trick question.

Gamma rays. Longshore drift.

The Venus de Milo.

Correct.

And your final question.

Which decade saw the invention

of the replaceable razor,

the formation of the Ford Motor Company,

and the death of Oscar Wilde?

- The 1890s.

- 1900s

- 1890s.

- I'm pretty sure it's the 1900s.

I am going to have to hurry you.

Lucy, what do you think?

Actually, I think Brian's right.

Is the answer the 1900s?

Correct.

Right. Well, then. Congratulations, team.

Brian, glad to have you on board.

- You were great.

- Thanks.

Bye.

Brian.

I've never seen anything like it.

You're a general knowledge God.

So what made you

wanna take the Challenge anyway?

The Challenge!

Well, I want to be an actress,

or a TV presenter, or something.

- It's all experience, isn't it?

- Yeah.

How about you?

How come you know all that stuff?

Misspent youth?

And I suppose I've always just

liked that feeling of knowing things.

For some reason it all goes in

and stays there.

And it's just useless knowledge.

You think there's such a thing

as useless knowledge?

Well, sometimes.

I wish I hadn't learned to crochet.

You are joking, aren't you?

Oi, watch it.

Hey!

Better not. There might be dog poo in there.

Right.

Oh, God, I just remembered! Mask workshop.

I've gotta run. See you at the next rehearsal.

Alice, what are you doing on Friday?

It's just, it's my birthday.

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