Starter for 10 Page #6

We were talking...

Bri, Bri.

Look, I know you might not believe this,

I was actually putting a good word for you.

Spencer, mate, you were half-naked.

We was only fooling around,

it's nothing serious.

Look, Bri, if you've got something to say,

just say it 'cause this is stupid.

You knew how I felt about her.

You knew, Spence. I told you.

And you couldn't keep away, could you?

- She started it.

- Well, that's all right then, isn't it?

And what about the fight?

Was that somebody else's fault as well?

What do you expect?

He was trying to make me look stupid.

So you resorted to violence?

No, I didn't resort to it.

Violence was my first choice.

All right, that's cool. That's very hard, mate.

Well, I didn't exactly see you going

out of your way to help me, did I, Judas?

- I was sticking up for you!

- Oh, that's what you were doing.

You see, for a moment

I thought you were just flapping

your social conscience around

in front of your girlfriend!

You made me feel like a prick, Bri.

- You are a prick.

- Don't push your luck, Jackson.

What is it, Spencer,

this need to smash things up?

You know, it's all very well

messing your own life up,

but why do you have to do it with

people that care about themselves?

People who're trying to achieve something,

- make something of their lives?

- What, like you, you mean?

- You're just jealous of me.

- Jealous? What, of you?

You think because you read a couple books

you're suddenly better than me?

That's not what Alice seems to think.

I want you gone, Spencer.

I want you on the first train.

I don't care how much trouble you're in.

You've gotta go.

Brian. Where are you going, Brian?

I'm sorry.

Wake up! We have to be in Manchester

in two hours.

Brian!

Two minutes, Brian.

Patrick, if it's any consolation,

I'm sure they can cover that up

- with make-up or...

- Just get in, will you?

Hey, there.

Here we are then, the Fantastic Four.

The duodenum and ileum form

part of which bodily system?

- The digestive system.

- Correct.

The Wild Duck and Rosmersholm

are by which Nordic playwright?

Patrick, can I just ask, do you think by

some kind of freakish coincidence,

these questions are going to be

on the show?

Because if they're not,

it's a bit of a waste of time, isn't it?

It's a warm-up, Brian, for those of us

who aren't feeling too fresh this morning.

What about Alice, then?

Late night was it, Alice?

- Not here, Brian.

- Right, so,

just the four of us today or

is someone hiding in the back?

Later, okay?

Will someone please tell me

what the hell's going on?

I know. Let's listen to some music.

Finally. I'll let them know you're here.

Brian, where are you going?

Just give me five minutes. All right?

- We're already late because of you.

- Leave him, Patrick.

All right. But five minutes only.

Mum, it's not for hours yet.

I know. We set off at dawn.

We thought we'd make a day of it.

I brought Des along.

You don't mind, do you?

No. No, that's fine.

- What do you think, Bri?

- I've got to go.

Brian, is something wrong?

What could possibly be wrong, Mum?

Is it Des, Brian?

Brian? Get back here

this minute, young man!

Brian, I wish your Dad was here today, too.

But that's not going to happen, is it?

I'm sorry you don't like Des, but I do.

And he likes me. And he makes me laugh.

Which, believe me,

hasn't happened much in the last ten years.

Jackson, we're waiting.

Now!

I've gotta go.

Everything all right?

Brian, I can't stand this, us not talking.

What is there to talk about, Alice?

I'm sorry if I led you on.

And I'm sorry about Spencer.

I didn't intend to, it was just a sort

of physical, animal attraction. Sex thing.

This isn't necessarily helping me, Alice.

Oh, my God.

So.

We meet again.

Isn't that the team that...

Beat us last year. Yes, Lucy, that's correct.

Okay, people, let's quiz.

- How many vertices has a dodecahedron?

- Twelve.

Wrong. Minus five points.

So they're really, really good, aren't they?

- The so called Hammer of the Scots, which...

- Henry II.

Minus ten points.

- So basically we're screwed.

- Edward II?

Okay, Brian, here's a question for you.

If you don't know the answer,

why the hell do you bother

even opening your mouth?

Nobody else was answering

so I thought I might as well have a stab.

Okay, everyone, let's just calm down.

That's your problem, isn't it?

Always having a stab without a clue.

Stab, stab, stab, getting everything

wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!

- I'm off to find a pub.

- It's fun, remember?

I don't even know why

I let you on this team in the first place.

You are completely ignorant.

Worse even than that

thick yob of a friend of yours.

- You started that.

- You turn up drunk, reeking of booze

- Iooking like a tramp on national television.

- Don't do that, Patrick.

It's true what they say, isn't it?

You can take the boy out of Essex,

but you can't take Essex out of a boy.

Ow!

Of course, what we witness here

is a basic misunderstanding

of the principle of the headbutt.

You're meant to hit the soft part of their nose

with hard part of your forehead,

not the other way around.

Here, here, how many fingers

am I holding up?

- lf I get it wrong, do I lose five points?

- No, not this time.

Three.

Battle of Agincourt?

Yeah, I think you're gonna be all right.

I'm glad you came.

What, you lying unconscious

in a pool of your own blood?

Wouldn't have missed that for the world.

Mr Jackson, we need you now.

All right.

Oh, and this is for you.

I managed to get most of the blood out.

Thank you so much.

Yeah?

Yeah. Oh, hang on, you might want to...

Here, let me.

That's all right.

Now, Mr Jackson.

Wait... Brian,

you show those stuck-up bastards

what you're made of.

- lf you'd like to wait here.

- Okay.

Ah, there's Bamber. Wait here please.

Oh, my God.

Which constellation of seven bright

stars includes Merak, Megrez and Mizar?

Ursa Major or the Great Bear,

also known as the Big Dipper.

I knew that.

Oh.

There it is.

Okay, everybody. Two minutes.

I'm sorry about that.

It's all right. In retrospect,

it's possible I wasn't entirely faultless.

What?

You think it's too much?

Okay. If you'd like to take your seats?

All right, team.

Let's take these mothers out!

Coming to the studio live

in three, two, one...

Intro Bamber.

It's University Challenge.

Asking questions, Bamber Gascoigne.

Hello, welcome once again to

University Challenge.

This week's tournament

between the University of Bristol

and Queens' College, Cambridge.

Let's meet the teams.

Starting with Queens'.

Hello, I'm Tristram Neville from Cheltenham,

reading Pure Mathematics.

Hi, my name's Cordelia Sykes

from Norwich reading Chemistry.

And their team captain.

Anthony Salmon from Winchester

doing postgraduate research

in medieval French Literature.

Nigel De Havilland from West Dulwich

reading economics.

And our team from Bristol.

Hi, I'm Alice Harbinson from

Hampstead, London, reading Drama.

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