Status Update

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1

My rise to the top of the Haden High School food chain,

happened faster than a three-second snapchat.

But it wasn't always that way.

A few weeks ago, I was just like you.

Then I updated my status, and some

pretty strange things began to happen.

I feel like I owe everyone an explanation,

so here it is.

Oh, and by the way, I don't play hockey.

Line by line resync and more

by Dandysubs on 20180421.

Or at least I didn't, until a few weeks ago.

Oh, come on, kid.

Knock-knock,

I'm invading your privacy.

Come on, get up!

You're gonna be late

for your first day of school.

- Ugh, it smells like a wet dog in here.

- See that guy?

- Hey!

- That was me not so long ago.

Listen, you need to finish

putting this room together,

so when you get home from school today

I want you to start unpacking, all right?

Breakfast in ten.

Wait, wait, Mom, Mom!

I don't think I feel so good.

Yeah, right.

- Hey, bud, how you doing?

- Hey dad.

Sorry for hittin' you up so early.

Did I wake you?

Aw, please, don't worry about it,

I had to get up early...

giant swells this morning,

everything okay?

This place sucks.

- I wish I could be there with you.

- Listen...

you just gotta hang

tough until summer, okay...

then you're gonna be right

back here in Cali with me.

I love you, Pop.

I love you too man.

Hang in there, all right?

Whoa!

- Oh, well...

- Sorry about that.

- Still getting used to having people in the house.

- Yeah, yeah, I'll come back later.

Maxi, don't play on your

phone at the table.

I'm not playing, I'm swiping.

- Swiping?

- Yes.

Get that app off your phone, young lady.

Put it on my phone, though.

Dude, you're gonna wear that

on the first day of school?

This isn't Huntington Beach.

Okay, eat up.

The bus will be here in ten minutes.

I don't know why

I couldn't bring my car.

Dad said he'd pay

to have it shipped.

Well, I love that money is

no object for your father,

'cause he doesn't make any.

Your dad's need to relax has gotten in the

way of him finding any kind of work.

I get it, you guys are mad at me.

But just bear with me, just trust me. I have a plan.

This is better for all of us, all right?

Hey, bro! You need to

drop the teen angst act.

Mom and Dad are over.

This is the new normal. Accept it.

Look, they're only separated.

They're not getting a divorce.

She moved 3.000 miles

to get away from him.

To me, that screams divorce,

but then again, I'm a realist.

No surf, no Dad, no car...

senior year in Connecticut.

23? Room 23?

Does anybody know

where Room 23 is?

Sorry, man, my bad.

Hey, do you guys know

where Room 23 is?

Cool skateboard.

- Thanks.

- 23?

- Yeah.

- Isn't that East wing, guys?

- Yeah, I got a class there.

- Yeah, it's on the other side of the school.

I really appreciate it, dude.

Not a problem... dude.

Come on, come on, where is it?

The fourth the fifth

The minor fall, The major lift

The baffled king composing Hallelujah

- Hi.

- Hi.

Sorry, I'm late.

Well, Mr?

Kyle, Moore.

Kyle Moore, I really hope this isn't how

the rest of the year is going to go.

Mm-hm.

Please have a seat, Kyle.

I saw a sign of violence

I saw a sign of violence

Great.

Hey.

Hi.

I saw you singing earlier.

You were, you were great.

I was a little flat, but, thank you.

I'm Kyle.

I'm Dani.

Are you trying to make me jealous?

Brian, this is Kyle.

Kyle, this is Brian Massey.

Hey, man?

Are you making a play

on my girl, Spray Tan?

Brian, I'm not your girl, okay?

You're gay.

37% percent technically ain't gay, baby.

And you were flat again today.

Do you wanna win the Slam, or not?

Yes, yes, of course,

I want to win the Slam.

Well, then, mediocrity isn't gonna cut it.

Okay, I'm not taking my shirt off.

I can not lose that

much water weight again.

You need to step it up.

Are you wearing women's jeans?

No.

Yes... my stylist picked them out.

Dude, you don't have a stylist.

Okay, H & M had a flash sale,

I blacked out.

Later, Kyle.

Don't even think about it.

You can think about this.

Hey, Kyle,

looks like you're acclimating nicely.

This is my boyfriend, Xing-Fu.

Xing, Mr. Unpopular here is my brother, Kyle.

Where are you from in China?

Oh, no, he's from Connecticut.

His real name's Donald.

But he only speaks Mandarin,

because he's so in tune,

with his Chinese roots.

Let's go, Fu.

What are you doing at my table?

Sorry, I didn't know it was yours.

Well, it is, so beat it.

Wait, wait, no, no, no, no, kidding, I'm kidding.

You thought I was serious?

That was awesome. No, I'm not, I'm not a fighter.

I know I look intimidating but,

no, I've never been in a fight. Well, that's not true.

When I was in third grade this girl kicked me,

in... the eggplant emoji...

and I just fell down and cried,

and pee'd a little.

Thanks for sharing that with me.

Yeah. Are you really from California?

Yeah, I really am.

That is gnarly. Is that how

you say gnarly?

- Sure.

- I've always wanted to go to California,

like just skateboard, you know,

like down the Venice boardwalk

and like hang out with Snoop Dogg, you know,

Straight Outta Compton-style,

except without, you know,

the smokies, because I have asthma.

But anyways, I can't go, because I sunburn

easily and I'm not really athletic.

I'm talking a lot, sorry,

my name's Lonnie. Oh, fist bump.

Sorry bro.

- But everyone calls me Grimace.

- Why Grimace?

Oh, because everyone

thinks I look like him.

I don't see it, dude.

Dude, I sound like a Californian.

Yo, Grimace?

Hey, Derek.

I got a B-plus on my history paper.

Yeah, that's not good.

That's unacceptable.

Stop eating, start studying.

Got it, dude.

You do that guy's homework?

Yeah, Principal Kim makes me "tutor" him.

He's the best hockey player in Connecticut.

He scored more goals in two periods,

than any other high schooler in history.

He's got a Youtube channel,

and I hear the pros are watching him.

And then there's Charlotte, Derek's girlfriend,

hottest girl in the whole school.

The queen of Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook.

She's got like half a million followers on Instagram.

Queen of all the hockey groupies.

They're expected to win the

state championship.

We haven't won in like 20 years,

so it's all because of that guy.

Yeah, well, I'm not a hockey fan.

Me, neither, but figure skating's cool.

I mean, whatever.

- Yo, Grimace!

- What?

Chocolate money shot!

You got your milk all over my titties.

Did I forget to mention he has

a really accurate slap shot?

He's good. Do I have anything in my face?

Oh, you got a little something right... here.

Yo, Point Break!

Hey. Come on, man.

I'm just messing with you. All right?

It's nothing personal.

We just do it to all the new kids.

So, uh, we cool?

Kyle! Look out!

Oh!

Five minutes for cross checking!

How's that locker feel, Point Break?

Oh... Cali!

Hey, come on, give me my phone back.

Oh, you wanna call your mommy, Point Break?

Oh, you can actually use my phone.

Give it back.

Too slow.

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