Stealing Cars Page #4

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calm down. Come on.

Come on, man. No one's gonna care.

Come on, Billy.

Let me go!

I still gotta take you back, Billy.

You don't know what goes on

in that place.

Sure I do.

No, you think you know the Bernville

Camp for Boys, but you don't, man.

Life is the Bernville Camp for Boys.

Oh, Jesus Christ. If you're winding up

for the heavy meaning-of-life pitch...

- you'll have to do better than that.

- Know what? Shut up and listen to me.

Yes, sir.

- All right?

- Yes, sir. I'll shut up and listen to you.

High school is

the Bernville Camp for Boys.

Afghanistan? The desert version.

The police academy

was the Bernville Camp for Boys.

Hell, my marriage was a lot like that.

The whole world

is a Bernville Camp for Boys, Billy...

and the only way out is through.

That's bullshit.

The only way out is to not get in.

Well, you've managed to get yourself in,

and I've gotta take you back.

- I know.

- Yeah.

Can I ask you something?

What?

You gonna finish that?

Stay down, Billy. Stay down.

- This is it.

- Mm-hm.

Home sweet home.

- Take care of yourself, kid.

- Yeah. See you soon.

I'm pretty sure you will.

I feel like I'm shitting a river of fire.

Nathan, man, why don't you let me

take you to the infirmary?

I got juice. I could hook you up

with a bed with a view.

Because the first time I complained,

Conrad said that I was faking...

and that if I bitched again,

I wouldn't be faking anymore.

Yeah, but I could talk to Nurse Simms.

She'll listen to me.

Nurse Simms? You mean

Mother Teresa on animal tranqs?

Oh, yeah, I know...

I told you, Stein.

You sh*t twice a day,

morning and night.

Sometimes these things

are beyond our control, Conrad.

Out! You pull up those pants

and get out of here right now!

I can't. It won't... It won't stop.

You slam that sphincter shut

and get on your feet...

or I will kick you so hard,

you'll sh*t from your eyes!

- An image you could've kept to yourself.

- Get that goddamn bucket!

Give me that bucket, Wyatt!

Damn it, Conrad!

You sh*t off my schedule,

you will sh*t in my bucket!

- Conrad!

- Please.

Not to pull focus from Nathan here,

but let me ask you something.

In your trailer,

how do you live with yourself?

- You shut your mouth.

- For example...

at night, after you've tried to throw

a jack, but you can't get it up...

- and the loneliness settles in.

- Shut up.

You realize you're nothing but

a Cro-Magnon fleck of worthlessness...

who can only get his nut off

by watching a sick kid sh*t in a bucket.

How do you live with yourself, Connie?

You sh*t in that bucket!

This bucket is your friend, f*ggot!

You will take this bucket with you

wherever you go!

Permission to use

the laundry room, sir?

Thank you.

Stop! Stop!

Get off of me. Stop!

Stop.

You and me, Jew lover.

Kick off, man.

Relax. Boys will be boys.

Carlos, thanks for

having my back last night.

What are you gonna do

when you get out of here?

Get thrown back in.

But not here though.

In with the big boys.

It's cool though.

Top of the heap, you know?

Okay. Um...

Let's say fate was kind.

Okay. Fate's a f***ing magician.

I'm gonna feel the wind in my face...

and the silk of thighs

wrapped around my neck...

like the wings of angels.

You...

are no longer El Gato.

You are now E! Poet-a-

I see you, E! Poet-a...

in San Francisco in a Kinko's.

Yeah. That's your day job.

But at night, en la noche...

you're reading your poetry

at Papalote's...

while the chicks from Marin...

mm-hm...

they're swallowing your yarn.

You're getting more kitty than a vet.

Ooh-whee. Aw...

Take me with you.

We cannot tell the precise

moment when friendship is formed.

As in filling a vessel drop by drop...

there's at last a drop

which makes it run over.

So in a series of kindnesses...

there is at last one,

which makes the heart run over.

Nathan, what are you doing?

I'm having the perfect dream.

I'm 7 in Michigan. Genesee County.

And I'm with my parents at this place.

I think it's called something like, um...

the Miracle Twin Drive-In

or something.

And I'm in my pajamas

in the backseat of the car.

And I'm in that state where

I'm not really asleep.

I'm not fully awake.

And...

next thing I know, I wake up

and it's morning, and I'm in my bed.

I have no idea how I got there.

And next door, I can hear

our neighbor cutting the grass.

Nathan...

why'd you burn

your parents' house down?

There was some bad sh*t

happening with my sister.

My father would...

He'd do stuff to her.

And my mom wouldn't believe her.

So I stole all my mom's jewelry...

and sold it and gave the money

to my sister.

And she took off.

And I couldn't go back.

So I burned their house down.

Figured it would be

a nice goodbye present.

I'm sorry.

You got a sister, Billy?

No.

Hey, I didn't...

I didn't burn it down all the way.

I just kind of...

This would be a weird place to die.

Don't you think?

Mags, what are

your five favorite movies, right?

And do not say Twilight in this car.

Fine.

Remember Me.

The Runaways.

Uh, Water for Elephants.

Valentine's Day.

And the fifth would have been

Snow White and the Huntsman.

- But we all know what happened...

- Touch. Touch.

If they ask me

- Ask me my five favorite films.

- Where's this coming from?

It's what I was thinking about in Trig.

Number one, Scarface.

Two, Godfather! and II,

which I count as one.

Three, Bronx Tale. Four, 8 Mile.

Five, Boyz n the Hood.

Heh. You know you're white, right?

Ha-ha-ha.

Oh, don't, no. Oh, I love, yes.

Oh, come on.

Or hang around for you'

Well, I make it pretty good

Until that moon comes shinin' through

And then I get

So doggone lonesome

I'm sure you know

what you're talking about.

You know, Nathan,

you really look like sh*t.

Gentlemen, please. Gentlemen.

It has come to my attention that this

year's community construction project...

has, shall we say, stagnated.

What the hell was it

supposed to be anyway?

I have no idea.

This was supposed to

be something created by you as a group.

Something of lasting value.

- He'll say "future generations."

- Something for posterity.

I'm slipping.

Groups of the past

have chosen to construct...

a large double-truck recycling bin for

the St. Thomas Fundamentalist Church.

We've had a backstop for

the Will Stevens Memorial softball field...

over at Redding.

And my favorite,

from the fall of '09 population...

a pair of oak picnic tables

with matching benches...

for the Pennsylvania Lenape.

Now, I don't know.

Maybe this year's project

of the outdoor chapel...

"Outdoor chapel"?

Has just not been

as inspiring as I'd hoped it'd be.

But never in the history

of the Bernville Camp for Boys...

have we not completed a project.

Now, I am more than open

to hearing suggestions...

as to how we might gain

some inspiration in moving this forward.

And you may discuss this

amongst yourselves.

But make no mistake...

this project will be completed by you

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