Stealing Harvard Page #7

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...and all it ever got me was punched,

shot at and arrested.

- And they're off!

- So here I was...

...pinning Noreen's hopes

for education on an animal that...

...couldn't win if it was

shot out of a cannon.

And trailing is number 5, M'Lady.

Making his move from behind,

the long shot, number 5, M'Lady.

But for some reason, that day...

...my horse ran the race of his life.

As we enter the stretch, number 4,

Dance in the Dark, is fading.

It's a two-horse race.

So was that fate? I don't know.

But I do know this:

If you show up, do your best and

spoon with the occasional judge...

...you don't have to believe

in fate.

- And it's M'Lady by a nose!

- Because fate will believe in you.

Things worked out.

Elaine and I got married.

Noreen couldn't be there.

She was at college.

So Patty was the maid of honor.

And there on the steps

of our charming starter home...

...surrounded by our special friends...

...it felt like we were finally

starting to live our dream.

The only thing I didn't figure out

was how Duff got that $1000.

Well, well. What have we here?

Okay.

Wait. Let me shut it.

I know exactly

what you're talking about.

I just salivated on you, I'm sorry.

Saliva shot onto your body.

So do I get paid...?

- Let's go.

- Hold it.

What... is it?

Suddenly I'm William Shatner.

Let me do this again.

- What is it?

- You.

Wait. Sorry. Go back. Wait. Okay.

I'm your private dancer.

- You're a bag of crap.

- Shut up!

- You shut up!

- What are you doing?

Okay. Super. So we're all on board.

Stupid bag of crap.

Any free landscaping you want.

I'll trim your bush.

How would you like me to...?

I don't want to talk about it.

It's been a while.

I forgot my line!

Mom, privacy!

Mom, privacy!

Big truck.

Nobody does anything...

I'm supposed to leave my car here?

You know what your problem is, Duff?

John.

You know what...? Sorry.

Okay, but I don't...

...spoon until...

...after.

Your head is so yellow and furry.

I don't look fat in this, do I?

- We've been doing it...

- I know.

...a lot.

- Doing it and doing it right

Hi, Duff.

Get on the floor!

And...

Okay, I want the money.

Now.

Now.

Spooning feels dirty.

I work hard for the money.

So hard for the money.

- Tuna.

- Oh, you...

Hold on. One more time.

Keep going.

Holding. Anytime.

One more time.

All right. Cut.

That's what I'm talking about.

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