Steam of Life

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Let me do your legs.

There we go.

Here....

For almost 51 years

I've washed this back.

That's good.

Do you want to stay behind,

I'm going?

Steam of Life

One thing I've noticed, boys,

about love -

and what women like,

that's massage.

Neck, shoulders, legs

and buttocks, every day.

That's our love story right there.

If I skip one part and

try and sneak off, -

she will say:

"You missed the legs.''

Or if I think she's asleep, no:

"You missed the legs.''

Women are very particular

about the spots they want massaged.

I think they call them G-spots,

or what do they call them.

That's him.

- Well, then.

They all look alike.

- Them babies.

He's smiling.

- Right.

So adorable.

- Looks like his father.

He's so small and weak, it's great

to care for someone so small -

and see him growing every day.

- That's right.

I'll always remember the moment

they lifted him to his mother's arms -

and I cut the umbilical cord...

And I saw the baby,

his little hands and feet...

They're home now

and I was on a paternal leave -

helping to

take care of the baby.

Now one dream has come true -

and maybe God will give us

a little princess later.

That's right.

It's nice to go to sauna....

- Damn, are you going to sauna?

You were supposed to eat first!

Come on now!

- I won't throw this to the stoves.

F***ing hell, you go to sauna...

- What's the soup you made?

Cabbage soup!

Really insane stories,

the things I've told you -

things you can experience

in your childhood.

Things like hidden family violence...

When you have a stepfather

and you feel like you're in the way...

I first realized this

when I started school.

We were at the cottage,

he took me to this big rock -

where the kids always play...

He told me that I'm not Kuosmanen,

I'm Putkonen.

I was seven then,

I didn't quite get it.

I thought of him as my father.

If you think of it,

nowadays it would be uneard of...

When I got home from school,

I tried to avoid him -

and tried to look and see

if the despot is home.

You grow numb with it,

always being beaten, hit or strangled.

The most insane thing was

to be pushed down to the floor -

and a pillow was held over my face.

And the hypocrisy,

what was shown to others...

All was well

in the artist family.

And the way it stopped for me...

I was drunk for the first time -

and came home,

we had this French balcony...

I grabbed the guy,

he was a head shorter -

and I was sporty

and well-built...

I had the upper hand,

I might have dropped him from there.

He was screaming for mercy

"Don't kill me! Help!".

And that was the end of it.

There's one more round here.

In '89, I had everything

I had always wanted.

I had a daughter,

I had a good job -

but the child had no mother.

I was a construction worker,

and my mother cared for my daughter.

She started staying over there,

I visited them often.

Then this person told me I can't come,

because the girl always cries after that.

Was your mother alone

or with someone?

My mother is married.

They adopted my daughter.

My daughter is also

my stepsister.

That's why I'm up here in the North.

I just get so sad there.

I didn't get info about her schooling

or anything, really, -

I had to threaten with lawyers.

We tried to negotiate,

but they accused and pressured me.

I lost it totally then.

I've always been a crackerjack.

I told them to draw up the papers,

I will sign them, whatever you want.

That's...

That's how we dealt with it.

F***, it still hurts.

More steam.

If only I could tell my daughter,

but I can't.

It's good that I can tell you.

Is it cold?

- Not warm yet.

The sun doesn't warm much.

Should have a black tub there.

You want a beer?

- Sure.

It would be nice

if she came for a visit.

We could cry together.

I'm always crying alone.

Would be good for her to know....

- Yes, to know the reasons behind it.

In 1983, my life

got totally out of hand.

I lost my grasp of things.

I drank and got into crime.

In the summer of '84,

I committed a robbery -

and got one year for it.

I drank and drank,

that was my life.

I went into prison that summer, -

and that started a spiral

that lasted until '93.

Once I was crossing the street, -

I was high on drugs,

drunk or something, -

and I realized this is a part

of the plan that destroys me.

Then I got an 18-month sentence...

I lived alone in my cell,

they do in Sweden.

In the corner, there was

a piece of metal sheet -

that served as a mirror there.

I remember looking into it -

and thinking that I'll kill myself

to end all this sh*t.

I had this lady friend

who visited me from Stockholm.

She came to the prison

in March and asked:

"Pertti, what happened to your eyes,

they're the eyes of a dead fish.''

One prisoner tried to escape -

by splitting his gums

with a razor blade.

I had taken amphetamine one night

and just decided to escape.

I started working out,

so I broke into sweat -

and then called the guard:

"I've got stomach cramps.''

I took a razor blade

and made wounds into my mouth -

and let the blood run into a cup -

and spread it all over the place

and lay down on the floor.

That's how they found me,

unconscious.

They hooked me up to an IV,

I started running towards the door.

The guards caught me,

called the police and handcuffed me.

The warden put me into solitary,

I was a danger to others.

In the solitary, I was permitted

to sit outside on my lunch hour.

It was a beautiful day,

I sat against a trash can.

I wore shorts, had a cup of coffee

and the sky was blue.

All of a sudden, I saw

a blue butterfly in the sky.

I thought it was beautiful,

hoped it would sit on my mug.

The mug was blue

and had painted grass and flowers.

It was like summer.

So the butterfly landed

on my mug.

I hoped it would open its wings,

and so it did.

And at that moment,

something happened.

Instantly,

my broken view of the world -

was totally cleared.

At the end of February 1991,

I got out of prison in Sweden.

When I walked into the log temple, -

I had this insight that the woman

who sits next to me will be my wife.

And so this Anu Katja Johanna

sat next to me during the introduction.

I fell in love with her woolly socks.

She curled her toes

inside the red-and-white striped socks.

I looked at her and

my heart went all weak.

Once I came back from a run

and near the course center I thought -

that if Anu is at the front door,

I will tell her this.

I went there,

and she opened the door!

I told her:

"We will be married.''

When I was young,

I told my mother:

"I want a wife from Kainuu,

she is a brown-eyed nurse.''

And my wife has brown eyes

and is a nurse.

When Anu took the pregnancy test

and then she called the lab -

and she heard

that the hormone levels were up -

it was just such miracle!

That I would be a father!

After such a life!

This kind of basic life,

organized society -

this is the best I know.

I've always had

empty pockets.

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