Steel Magnolias Page #5

without Lycra on these thighs

since I was 14.

You were

brought up right.

Congratulations, Drum.

Big day, isn't it?

Grrr.

Ouiser? Ouiser,

there's someone

I'd like you to meet.

That looks

like an autopsy.

This is Jackson's

Aunt Fern Thornton.

From Alexandria.

She made the cake.

You did this?

Guilty.

Well, it's very simple, really.

It just takes patience.

You only do armadillos?

No. I can do anything...

except snakes.

I don't have

the counter space.

Son of a gun,

we're gonna have big fun

On the bayou

Whoa, jambalaya

and a crawfish pie

And a fillet gumbo

'Cause tonight

I'm gonna see my cher a mio

Pick guitar, fill fruit jar

And be gay-o

Son of a gun,

gonna have some fun

On the bayou

Thibodaux, Fontaineaux

This place is buzzin'

Kinfolk come to see Yvonne

by the dozen

Dress in style,

go hog wild, me oh my oh

Son of a gun,

gonna have big fun

On the bayou

Oh, jambalaya

and a crawfish pie

And fillet gumbo

'Cause tonight

I'm gonna see my cher a mio

Pick guitar, fill fruit jar

And be gay-o

Son of a gun

Gonna have big fun

on the bayou

Jambalaya and a crawfish pie

A fillet gumbo

'Cause tonight

I'm gonna see my cher a mio

Pick guitar, fill fruit jar

And be gay-o

Son of a gun

Gonna have big fun

on the bayou

Mama... help me.

Well, this is it.

You're finally rid of me.

Oh, I think you'll be back

every now and then.

Corsages are pretty stupid

when you

think about it,

aren't they?

You make Jackson Latcherie

take good care of you.

Mama, Jackson

will take care of me.

And I'll take care of him.

And I'm not stupid.

I'll get my bags.

[Guests Cheering]

[Horn Honking]

[Gunshots]

Well, the boys just

brought the car around.

What did they do to it?

Let me put it this way...

If you and Jackson

want to practice safe sex,

you're all set.

Truvy, are you

leaving so early?

Yeah. But I'll have

sweet dreams with this

under my pillow.

I hope your husband

feels better.

He's going to be fine.

Say hello to Spud.

I'll do it.

I'm sure he's sorry

he missed all this.

Such a beautiful wedding.

Thanks, Truvy.

You're leaving so soon?

Hi.

Hello.

Would you like a ride?

I have new shoes.

Have to break them in.

Well, good night.

It was a lovely day.

Stop it.

Walk me home, Clairee.

You just live over there.

I don't want to walk

in that house by myself.

You watch the news.

You know what kind

of world we're living in.

Walk me home.

Who's going to walk me home?

You've got the flashlight.

My car's parked over there.

This is ridiculous.

You're only a few feet away.

Will you follow me?

Follow me.

You're acting like a child.

The older you get,

the sillier you get.

The older you get,

the uglier you get.

And last, but never least,

Santa's most beautiful helper,

this year's

Miss Merry Christmas,

Nancy Beth Marmillion!

Get it while the getting's good!

Best food in Louisiana!

Blood, sweat, and tears

go in every little bowlful.

Right, boys?

That's right, Truvy.

1, 2, 3, 4...

Shelby!

Well, get your little

country butt over here.

Were you trying to sneak by us

without buying some

of our jumbo shrimp?

They're hot and spicy,

just like Annelle.

Truvy, stop.

You should try one.

We've already

pulled their heads off.

No, I'm just killing time.

Jackson's found a firearm.

We may never see him again.

How about a glass of iced tea?

It's the house wine of the South.

Perfect.

Oh, coming up.

Bet your mama's happy

you got home in time

for the festival.

I wouldn't miss the festival.

How's your family?

Oh, fine.

Spud's as outgoing as ever.

Louie brought

his girlfriend home,

and the nicest thing

I can say about her

is all her tattoos

are spelled correctly.

Oh, Truvy.

Get your money away.

Thanks.

Well, my hair's not the only

thing that's changed.

So much has happened.

After they finally put

Bunky Dupuy behind bars

and I was rid of him,

I went wild.

I was running around

drinking, smoking.

Jezebel.

Truvy helped me see

the error of my ways.

She gave me a place to live.

Now I go to church.

I've done guest lectures on beauty

at the trade school.

Annelle's become

one of the hottest tickets in town.

Oh, Truvy, hush.

It's true.

Well, I am

enjoying the city more,

and I'm so excited about

this Christmas festival.

There's a Messiah

sing-along tomorrow. Oh, no!

What's the matter?

Oh, nobody move!

My contact! Oh, no!

Stay back!

Wait, don't move!

Can you back up, please?

Hello, darlings.

When did you get into town?

This afternoon.

Here, merry Christmas.

Thank you.

I've been trying

to show Jackson everything.

He's never been to the festival.

Listen to the football

game tonight.

Sure.

What are we listening for?

Me.

Didn't your mama tell you?

Mama never

tells anyone anything.

I'm the color announcer

for the Devils. I'm fabulous.

I'm just too colorful

for words.

Nice of them to let you

talk on the radio.

Nice, nothing.

I own the radio station.

You bought it!

Yes. KPPD, the station of choice

in Chinquapin Parish.

Mrs. Belcher, we got to go!

The kickoff!

Bye!

[Radio:
Announcer]

This has been an extremely

hard-fought football game,

considering the fact

that the Dry Prong lines

don't seem to have

the kind of depth

that Chinquapin has.

[TV Continues]

Well?

Nope.

Rolly Bassett

got the contract.

His bid was 6,000

under mine.

6,000.

Well, he owns all his own equipment,

and I don't.

It's hell to be poor and hired out.

Well, I have got some fried chicken here,

prepared by Christian women,

a bottle of cheap wine,

and I've arranged

for some pretty

incredible fireworks.

Oh, come on, Spud.

I don't want to miss

the nativity made

entirely out of sparklers.

I don't feel much like it.

Well, you will

once we get there.

I'm happy where I am.

Spud.

We always watch

the fireworks.

Whoa. That's the ball game.

Final score...

This is KPPD Radio,

station of choice

in Chinquapin Parish,

coming to you live

from the Devils' locker room.

This is Bark Boone

with color announcer

Clairee Belcher.

Thank you, Bark.

You know, Bark,

it's a shame our

listeners can't be here

to see the gorgeous

new Devil uniforms.

Uh... they're lovely.

I would never have chosen

those white pants.

They're filthy.

I would have gone

with a darker color.

White shows everything.

Just look at those grass stains.

Impossible to get out.

It's hard

to keep white clean

when you're tackled.

But I love the tops,

such a vibrant purple.

Would you call this color

grape or aubergine?

Shut up.

What?

You're making a fool

out of yourself, Clairee.

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