Steel Magnolias Page #4

This is my new...

Fine.

Now I know everybody

in this town.

And I don't recall

having seen you before.

I just moved into town

not too long ago.

With your family?

I don't have any family

to speak of.

Your husband?

My husband?

Yes.

Well, that's

kind of hard to say.

I, uh...

I don't know.

You don't know?

Well, I'm not sure.

You're not sure?

I'm intrigued.

Are you married or not?

These are not

difficult questions.

Well... we're...

I can't talk about it.

Of course you can.

Well, I'm not sure

if I'm married or not.

He's gone.

Men are the most

horrible creatures, honey.

They will ruin your life,

mark my words.

Everything is horrible.

Bunky- that's my husband...

He just vanished last week.

He took all the money,

my jewelry, the car.

Most of my clothes

were in the trunk.

He's in big trouble

with the law.

Mm-hmm.

Drugs or something.

The police keep questioning me,

but I don't know anything.

They say that our marriage

may not be legal.

Well, I wish you'd

have said something.

I was scared to.

I need a job

in the worst way.

I didn't know if you would

hire someone who may

or may not be married

to someone who might be

a dangerous criminal.

But, Miss Truvy, I swear to you,

my personal tragedy

will not interfere with

my ability to do good hair.

Of course it won't.

I really don't

think things could

get any worse.

Of course they can.

We are awful.

We are all hateful,

awful people.

Here all we've

been talking about

is weddings

and psychotic animals.

What can we do to help?

I know one thing.

Drop by this afternoon.

You're going to have

some bleeding armadillo

groom's cake.

[M'Lynn]

Oh, yes, you must.

Oh, no, I couldn't.

I still get real emotional sometimes.

Not today you won't.

It's going to be

a great party.

Well, I don't have anything to wear.

I'll bet I have something

that will do.

I'll call the house.

Uh, thanks.

All right.

Load me up.

Ready? All right.

We're ready.

All right.

Are you ready?

Stand back.

Here we go.

Whoa!

Aah!

Aah!

[Woof Woof]

What the hell is that?

You got them

real nice, Dad!

You nailed them!

Yeah!

Yeah!

I hope no one was hurt.

Shelby, get my things.

Rhett!

Miss Ouiser, that dog

will eat Daddy alive.

Ohh, no!

Ouiser, talk to him!

He'll listen to you!

Please!

It's my wedding day.

Say something!

Kill, Rhett! Kill!

Daddy, we're coming!

Bite him in the balls!

[Organ Plays "Because"]

Because God made thee mine

I'll cherish thee

Through light and darkness

Through all time we'll be

And pray his love

Will make our love divine

Sorry.

Because God

Made thee mine

I'm sorry.

[Playing The "Wedding March"]

Now.

Shelby.

Shelby, it's time.

Daddy, it's time.

It's time.

It's time!

Grrr.

Who gives this woman

in marriage?

Her mother and I do!

[Guests Laughing]

Dearly beloved...

I know a barber shop

way across town

Down on North Walker street

It's the loneliest place

on a Saturday night...

This has been

the happiest day

of my life, Daddy.

Oh, I'm glad, sugar.

I'm not talking too loud,

am I?

No, you're fine.

Shelby loves you very much.

I hope so.

It cost me 60 bucks

to rent this sucker.

I-I'm being serious.

So am I.

I got the receipt right here.

Could I say this, please?

Shelby is so happy.

I know when you're young

it seems like everything

will always be perfect.

Maybe it will be.

Promise me

you'll think about it

before you make any big decisions

about family.

I know what you're saying.

Good.

Never won't come, come, come

If you don't 7-11, dice

I'm done, done, done

Now if I see the police

before he sees me

I'm gonna run, run, run

'Cause I'm the leader of society

Since I got mine...

What can I get you?

Nothing. No, thanks.

You sure? It's free.

Oh?

Come on.

What will it be?

A cherry Coke.

Sure.

So, are you

a friend of the bride

or the groom?

Neither.

Sh-Shelby invited me.

I don't know why I'm here.

I'm Sammy.

And this here's

the best cherry Coke

in the history of the world.

Can I help you, sir?

That Jackson,

he is one big hangin' man.

Yes, I know.

Nancy Beth, come along.

Calories, calories.

I don't like

Belle Marmillion.

I don't trust anybody

that does their own hair.

I don't think it's normal.

She's the best volunteer we have

at the mental guidance center.

She's so good

with troubled children.

Wish I'd have taken Louie there

and got him straightened out.

Even his imaginary playmates

wouldn't play with him.

Oh, Truvy,

your boy grew up fine.

He's just a little scary.

I just think it'd be fun

to have access to all that

secret personal information.

Oh, come on, M'Lynn.

Tell me some of your

most bizarre cases,

and let me see

if I can figure out

who they are.

No.

There's some

pretty sick tickets

in this town.

I will do no such thing.

Cut that out.

You old fuddy-duddy.

["Rock And Roll" Plays]

I'm not

speaking to you.

Oh, what a shame.

I mean it, Drum.

Can we call a truce

long enough for me

to get a piece of cake?

Thanks, Ouiser.

Nothing like

a good piece of ass.

Clairee, you know

I'd rather walk on my lips

than to criticize anybody.

But... Janice Van Meter.

I know.

I bet money

she's paid $500 for that dress

and don't even bother

to wear a girdle.

Looks like two pigs

fighting under a blanket.

I haven't left the house

without Lycra on these thighs

since I was 14.

You were

brought up right.

Congratulations, Drum.

Big day, isn't it?

Grrr.

Ouiser? Ouiser,

there's someone

I'd like you to meet.

That looks

like an autopsy.

This is Jackson's

Aunt Fern Thornton.

From Alexandria.

She made the cake.

You did this?

Guilty.

Well, it's very simple, really.

It just takes patience.

You only do armadillos?

No. I can do anything...

except snakes.

I don't have

the counter space.

Son of a gun,

we're gonna have big fun

On the bayou

Whoa, jambalaya

and a crawfish pie

And a fillet gumbo

'Cause tonight

I'm gonna see my cher a mio

Pick guitar, fill fruit jar

And be gay-o

Son of a gun,

gonna have some fun

On the bayou

Thibodaux, Fontaineaux

This place is buzzin'

Kinfolk come to see Yvonne

by the dozen

Dress in style,

go hog wild, me oh my oh

Son of a gun,

gonna have big fun

On the bayou

Oh, jambalaya

and a crawfish pie

And fillet gumbo

'Cause tonight

I'm gonna see my cher a mio

Pick guitar, fill fruit jar

And be gay-o

Son of a gun

Gonna have big fun

on the bayou

Jambalaya and a crawfish pie

A fillet gumbo

'Cause tonight

I'm gonna see my cher a mio

Pick guitar, fill fruit jar

And be gay-o

Son of a gun

Gonna have big fun

on the bayou

Mama... help me.

Well, this is it.

You're finally rid of me.

Oh, I think you'll be back

every now and then.

Corsages are pretty stupid

when you

think about it,

aren't they?

You make Jackson Latcherie

take good care of you.

Mama, Jackson

will take care of me.

And I'll take care of him.

And I'm not stupid.

I'll get my bags.

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