Step Sisters Page #2

I've never wanted to choke out.

I don't let her choke out the girls,

but sometimes we pee in their shampoo.

Yeah!

[BETH] This is Libby.

And believe it or not, the whole

southern belle thing is not an act.

Oh, Beth!

Libby, this is my friend Jamilah.

So nice to meet you. You all want to play?

Oh, no. I'm from Philly.

We don't play with our drinks.

How precious!

I've been dying to go to those mooky,

blue-collar towns, like Philly or Detroit.

Oh, my gosh.

Have you ever been stabbed...

[LIBBY SQUEALS]

[JAMILAH] Oh, my God.

My heart was so low

Wait, you have black SBBs?

What?

Love is a battlefield

[BETH WHOOPS]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[BETH] Oh, Saundra, that was amazing.

This is my girl, Jamilah.

Jamilah, Saundra.

You killed it, sis.

We're not related.

[MAN SINGS OUT OF TUNE]

You're as cold as ice

Somebody likes being

the only chocolate in the candy dish.

[BETH] Oh, my God!

And that, right there, is Danielle Harris.

She's like a skinny Kim Jong Ew.

The Zeta Lambda Pi social tomorrow

may get awkward.

Amber called them all "Date-a-Bi" as some

brothers know their way around a shlong.

I wanted to bite off her nipple

and spit it at her!

[JAMILAH LAUGHS]

[JAMILAH SNORTS]

Hi, Danielle.

This is my friend Jamilah.

And this is her first SBB party.

Then where is her goddamn beer?

Be a better hostess, Beth.

Oh, no. I don't really do beer.

Weird.

So, interested in rushing SBB?

Actually, I'm a Theta.

- Not heard of it. I'm sure it's great.

- It's a black sorority.

OMG.

They are so mysterious!

Do they really beat you until you pass out

and brand you like cattle

with a hot coat hanger?

I saw it on 20/20.

Maybe it was The View.

Whatever! It was totally Babs.

Do you line up in bikinis and circle

each other's cellulite with a marker?

Used to.

Ah, the good old days!

How come none of your sororities

have houses?

Why don't you participate in Greek Week?

Oh! We have a black girl in ours.

- Do you have a white girl?

- Oh, my God.

- Are you the ones who do the screeching?

- Danielle!

Beth, sweetie.

THAT ENSEMBLE:

five years and ten pounds ago, maybe.

That's a hard "maybe".

So, that beer. Do you have Heineken?

No, skip that. Do you have crack?

[MEN GROANING IN DISGUST]

Jamilah?

I'm deactivating.

What?

You can just quit your sorority?

Black Greeks are like gangs.

You get out when you die.

Damn.

My point is...

weak people quit.

- I'm not weak.

- Why are you quitting?

I have tried!

But all these girls care about is

blow-drying their hair,

and getting skinny and getting wasted...

But there's sex.

That's true.

SBB has helped me get mad laid.

No! I mean there's sex happening

right in front of me.

[LIBBY GASPS]

This is just like summer camp!

Oh, no!

Oh, no, no, no!

Bad Libby!

Oh, oh, oh. Hey, Libby!

- Get up, Libby!

- Beth, please go away.

- You're making it awkward, and I like you.

- Oh, my...

Stop it! I'm trying... to help you!

- [SHOUTS] Bishop!

- [WHISPERS] God.

- This has got to stop.

- Are you hung over?

[SWALLOWS]

No.

Well, wring out your liver, Bishop.

We have got a big problem.

There is a video online

of a Sigma Beta Beta member

having sex on their lawn!

They're making porn on...

[BETH OVER VIDEO] Get down, Libby!

They're making porn on my campus.

It's gone viral.

Poor choice of words.

If they can't get their sh*t together,

I am pulling their charter!

Yeah...

Terrible.

[LIBBY OVER VIDEO] Goodness!

[BETH OVER VIDEO] Get down!

Am I supposed to say something else?

That you're gonna help fix this!

You understand Greek culture.

Oh, no. I understand black Greek culture.

Look, you make this SBB mess go away,

and I'll guarantee you

admission to Harvard.

[VIDEO CONTINUES PLAYING]

- Nick and I will both endorse you.

- Oh, OK...

We want to create a distraction,

make SBB look like positive contributors

to the community.

Ooh.

Ooh, ooh, ooh!

What if they did that steppy thing?

- Steppy thing?

- You know...

That's Voguing.

Please stop. Please...

Don't you have a competition coming up?

You have that charity step deal.

Yes, but I can't teach them.

- My black card would get revoked.

- Do you want to go to Harvard or not?

[SIGMA BETA BETA VIDEO CONTINUES PLAYING]

Frigging amateurs. When I have sex

outdoors, what I like to do is...

- Boundaries, boundaries!

- Sorry.

Boundaries.

I cannot believe

you're not stepping with us this year.

- I'm mad at you. You're killing me, OK?

- I've been spending all my time on Theta.

- I have to focus on getting into Harvard.

- Alright.

You are a dope choreographer.

You don't need me.

You're right. You're right.

I am seriously dope.

Thanks.

[AISHA CHUCKLES]

Hey, did you guys hear about that sorority

that had sex on their lawn?

Oh, yeah! Somebody Tweeted,

"S-B-B stands for Skanky Bougie Broads."

It was me.

Of course it was!

Dean Berman is trying

to rehabilitate their image,

get them to do something outstanding.

You mean get through a sentence

without the word "like"?

I mean like having them step.

[AISHA] Wait. White people, stepping?

- I know.

- That's the dumbest sh*t I've ever heard.

The dumbest. It's so stupid.

Stepping is a black Greek thing.

[CHERYL] Uh-huh.

I will say, though, that we did get

our letters and organizational structure

from white fraternities and sororities.

What's wrong with sharing

one part of our culture with them?

Helping white Greeks jack our traditions

is a slap in the face to our founders.

- [CHERYL] Hmm.

- No, worse.

A slap in the face, then a headlock,

and a weave yank.

And that isn't cute.

[SCOFFS]

So, just to be clear, you're not on board?

[CHERYL] Not even close.

Right.

Can you imagine, all those little Beckys

trying to get the beat?

They're trying...

Girl, you're crazy.

[CHUCKLES] Dean Berman.

Idiot.

[DANIELLE]

Ladies, this probation is preposterous.

We are not going to take this lying down,

like a pillow princess.

Our redemption begins at tonight's social

with Zeta Pi.

- I still like "Date-a-Bi" better.

- You would, fruit fly.

Be aggressively delightful tonight!

Have sunshine shooting out

of your hooters.

You must all be sunshine hooter shooters.

Hello. Middle of a meeting...

Sorry. OK, you all remember Jamilah.

She works for Dean Berman

in Student Affairs.

She wants to talk to us

about our suspension.

Please, enlighten us.

[SIGHS]

So, I think I have a way to save

your charter and get you reinstated.

You would compete in a charity step show.

It would show the Dean

that you are capable of teamwork,

community service,

cultural awareness

and you would get great press.

That could be really fun!

I'm an excellent country line dancer.

That surprises no one.

Thanks, but no thanks.

We're sorority girls, not showgirls.

Actually, you'd be legends -

the first white Greeks ever to step.

Uh...

We're not all white Greeks.

Right.

Thank you.

Stepping requires

an extraordinary amount of discipline.

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