Steve Jobs Page #3

magazine)

And this story is now about how I’m

denying paternity and took a blood

test!

(MORE)

STEVE JOBS - Shooting Script 03/19/15 15.

3 CONTINUED:
3

STEVE (CONT'D)

And that’s why there’s a picture of

a--I don’t know what the f*** that

is--that’s why there’s a picture of

a PC on the cover instead of a

picture of me and the Mac.

(beat)

I don’t know what to tell you. I

was supposed to be Time magazine’s

Man of the Year and then Dan Kottke

was born.

JOANNA:

(beat)

Well...

STEVE:

What.

JOANNA:

She’s waiting for you.

STEVE:

Who?

JOANNA:

Chrisann.

STEVE:

Brennan?

JOANNA:

They’re out in the hall. They’ve

been sitting in the back of the

auditorium since seven this

morning, she wants to talk to you.

STEVE:

How did she get in?

JOANNA:

Who was gonna stop her?

STEVE:

I’m not having a session with her

right now.

JOANNA:

We issued 335 press credentials for

the launch, Steve, you piss off

Chrisann and she’s gonna stand in

the lobby and give 335 interviews

and you, pal, will be longing for

the halcyon days of Dan Kottke.

3

STEVE JOBS - Shooting Script 03/19/15

CONTINUED:

16.

3

STEVE:

(pause)

Lemme get this over with. But don’tleave, you’re gonna stay here.

I’m not.

JOANNA:

STEVE:

No, there’s less chance of a scene

if you stay here, she’ll be cool.

JOANNA:

I find this all excruciatinglypersonal and I’m not staying.

STEVE:

I don’t want to be in a room alone

with Chrisann. Come on, this is me

and you.

Fine.

JOANNA:

STEVE goes to the door, opens it and steps out into-4

INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS 4

--where CHRISANN BRENNAN and LISA are waiting.

Hey.

STEVE:

Steve.

CHRISANN:

STEVE:

This is a surprise, why don’t you

come on in.

CHRISANN:

Thank you.

CHRISANN takes LISA’s hand to lead her-STEVE

(to LISA)

You coming too?

CHRISANN:

Yes, I’m not going to leave her in

the hallway.

4

STEVE JOBS - Shooting Script 03/19/15

CONTINUED:

17.

4

STEVE:

Okay. It’s a safe hallway,

but...anyway-They

walk back into-5

INT. STEVE’S DRESSING ROOM - CONTINUOUS 5

STEVE:

--you remember Joanna Hoffman,

she’s the head of marketing for theMac.

CHRISANN:

Good to see you.

JOANNA:

Nice to see you. Hello, Lisa. We’vemet before and you told me youliked the way I talked and that wasmy favorite thing anyone’s ever

said to me.

LISA:

You’re from Poland.

JOANNA:

Yes I am. Do you know where thatis?

LISA:

(pointing to the top of animaginary globe)

The top of the Earth.

JOANNA:

I think you’re thinking of the

North Pole.

STEVE:

Well we’re a little pressed for

time, so-JOANNA

(heading for the door)

I’ll leave you guys alone.

STEVE:

Why?...do you want to leave when(you just said)-

STEVE JOBS - Shooting Script 03/19/15 18.

5 CONTINUED:
5

JOANNA:

(over)

I’m going to check in with

Hertzfeld.

(to LISA)

We’re trying to get a computer to

say hello but right now it’s being

very shy. Would you come help me?

(to CHRISANN)

Is it okay?

CHRISANN:

Sure.

STEVE:

(to JOANNA)

Thank you.

LISA:

(to JOANNA)

My dad named a computer after me.

STEVE:

I’m not your-

STEVE stops himself and sees the looks coming from both

CHRISANN and JOANNA.

STEVE (CONT’D)

(pause)

That, actually--do you know what a

coincidence is, Lisa? Like if you

met someone, if you made a new

friend and her name was Lisa too,

that would be a coincidence. Lisa

stands for “Local Integrated System

Architecture”. L-I-S-A. It’s a

coincidence.

JOANNA:

(pause)

You about done?

STEVE:

Yeah.

JOANNA:

(to LISA)

Come. Let’s make that computer say

hi.

LISA’s still absorbing the “Lisa” information...

STEVE JOBS - Shooting Script 03/19/15 19.

5 CONTINUED:
5

CHRISANN:

Go ahead, Lisa.

LISA:

So it was the other way around--I

was named after the computer?

STEVE:

Nothing was named after anybody,

it’s a coincidence.

JOANNA:

Come on, hon.

JOANNA and LISA exit.

CHRISANN:

What’s the matter with you?!

STEVE:

What’s the matter with you?! Why

are you telling her these things?

Why are you still telling her I’m

her father?

CHRISANN:

A judge told her you’re her father-

STEVE:

No he didn’t.

CHRISANN:

--and where the hell do you get off

telling Time magazine that I’ve

slept with 28% of the men in

America.

STEVE:

That’s not remote-

CHRISANN:

Where do you get off?!

STEVE:

That‘s not remotely what I said.

CHRISANN:

(picking up the magazine)

It’s right here.

STEVE:

First of all, can I tell you

something about Time magazine?

(MORE)

STEVE JOBS - Shooting Script 03/19/15 20.

5 CONTINUED:
5

STEVE (CONT'D)

I believe it’s a training facility

for paid assassins.

CHRISANN:

“Jobs insists”--I’m quoting-

STEVE:

I didn’t invent math.

CHRISANN:

”’28% of the male population of the

United States could be the

father.’”

STEVE:

I wasn’t saying you’ve slept with

28% of American men, I was using an

algorithm based on the blood test

which said there was a 94.1% chance

that I’m the father.

CHRISANN:

You’re trying to publicly paint me

as a slut and a whore.

STEVE:

Believe me, I’m not trying to

publicly do anything with you.

CHRISANN:

Two-million people read Time, how

am (I supposed to--)

STEVE:

(over)

It would’ve been more if they’d put

me on the cover but Dan Kottke

(decided to kidney punch me and--)

CHRISANN:

(over--stopping him)

I applied for welfare yesterday.

STEVE:

I’m sorry?

CHRISANN:

I said I applied for welfare

yesterday. The Time article said

your Apple stock is worth 441

million dollars. And I wanted to

ask you how you felt about that.

STEVE JOBS - Shooting Script 03/19/15 21.

5 CONTINUED:
5

STEVE:

Well...I feel like Apple stock is

being dramatically undervalued.

This would be a good time to get

in.

CHRISANN:

Your daughter and her mother are on

welfare.

STEVE:

Chrisann-

CHRISANN:

We’re living in a hovel in Menlo

Park. We can’t pay the heating

bills, she sleeps in a parka. Your

daughter is (living in a

neighborhood)-

STEVE:

She’s not my daughter.

CHRISANN:

Because as reported by Time

magazine I’ve slept with 28% of the

men in America-

STEVE:

No.

CHRISANN:

--all of them exactly nine months

before Lisa was born.

There’s a KNOCK at the door and JOANNA opens it-

JOANNA:

I’ve got Andy here.

STEVE:

(to CHRISANN)

Excuse me.

STEVE steps out into-

6 INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS 6

--where ANDY HERTZFELD is waiting along with some members of

his team. LISA slips into the dressing room from the hallway

without STEVE much noticing.

STEVE JOBS - Shooting Script 03/19/15 22.

6 CONTINUED:
6

STEVE:

We’re there?

ANDY:

(calling into the dressing

room)

Hey Chris.

CHRISANN:

Hey Andy.

ANDY:

How’re you doin’?

CHRISANN:

Terrible.

STEVE:

You guys caught up now?

CHRISANN:

Excuse me for saying hello to my

friend who thinks you’re a dick.

ANDY:

(to STEVE)

I don’t think you’re a-

STEVE:

We’re there?

ANDY:

No. It’s got a one in six chance of

working.

STEVE:

Goddammit!

It should be noted there are a number of people--YOUNG

ENGINEERS--standing around and witnessing Steve beat up Andy.

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