Stick It

No. No, no. Sorry, bro.

This casa's not su casa.

No way.

Get out.

There's like

six other empty pools.

- That aren't as deep.

- You're not that good.

Off this roof,

onto the slide

and into the pool stays.

[ Fall Out Boy:
I Slept

With Someone in Fall Out Boy

And All I Got Was This

Stupid Song Written About Me]

- Let's do it!

- Go, GC!

Yo, let me

use your phone.

Why? It's gonna be done

by the time anyone gets here.

I'm not

gonna call anyone.

I'm gonna take some shots

of the blood.

You OK?

Now the alarm goes off?

Guys, guys, guys,

gots to go! Leave it!

Let's go,

let's go, let's go!

This isn't

the first time

I've made out

with law enforcement.

We've kinda had

this ongoing flirtation.

We've been on some dates.

You know, broken up,

got back together.

But honestly, until now...

...I haven't been ready

for anything steady.

You're pushing it, Haley.

But, you know,

people change.

And I felt like

maybe I was ready

for a more

serious courtship.

Meet the court.

It looks to be about, uh,

14,000 in property damage.

Haley, I assure you

that juvenile incarceration

is not as much fun

as it sounds.

So we're going to

give you one more chance.

Your father is willing

to subsidize two options...

- I'll take her, Your Honor.

- Over my dead body.

Ya dumped us, remember?

The Texas Military Academy

or a facility called VGA.

Are you crazy?!

This is not OK. VGA?!

Let me have custody,

Your Honor.

- Alice!

- All right, now stop this, both of you.

Haley, I leave it

to you to decide.

Where would you like to go?

Texas Military Academy,

Your Honor.

- VGA it is.

- What?

Meet

my worst nightmare.

Brice! VGA, are you crazy?

Don't do this to her!

So it's about

a three-hour drive.

Take as much time

as you need.

Where's my sh*t?

Right there.

So you're just dumping me?

Huh? Just giving up

and not even talking to me?

You're the one

that gave up, Haley.

Guess you learned that

from your mom.

Don't send me to VGA.

And what do you think

I should do? Huh?

I don't know what

to do with you.

You used to be

such a good kid.

That's so interesting.

You used to be

a good dad.

Guess we're even.

- Cracker!

- Cracker, wait up!

Aww.

Dude, you

didn't name names.

I would never

do that to you guys.

- So, what happened?

- Yeah, where you goin'?

Uh... juvy.

Outside of Houston.

- Can we visit?

- Yeah, when you bust me out.

Know how I feel.

Consider it done.

Well done.

Charred to a crisp.

- OK, we have to go, guys.

- Wait, wait. Take my phone.

Use it if they

don't take it.

- What are you gonna use?

- I'll steal my brother's.

I got really good shots

of that jump.

- That sh*t was legendary.

- Off the hook!

Later, Cracker!

Yeah!

- Did you catch that?

- What?

That I'm totally

her favorite?

Dude, why do you always gotta

bite my moment? It taste good?

Delicious.

Anybody home?

Anybody care?

VGA.

Otherwise known as the

Vickerman Gymnastics Academy.

There's only one thing worse

than having no control

over your life.

It's being forced to live it

with people who hate you.

And I was suddenly the filling

in the middle

of an "I hate you" sandwich.

Meet the bread.

Ladies, read my mind.

Read my mind, ladies.

Burt Vickerman used to

whip up the best gymnasts

west of the Mississippi.

That is, until his gym

starting producing

more injuries than champions.

We'd never met, and I'd been

hoping to keep it that way.

Is my mind saying "relax"?

Maybe you can read my mind,

and it's completely lost.

Have I lost my mind?

Is that why you're

staring off into space?

Ah.

- Join us.

- What is she doing here?

Joanne Charis.

Four-time national team member,

five-time national Haley-hater.

Why all the hate?

Well, when you walk out on Worlds

and lose Team USA some team gold,

it's not personal.

It's national.

And in the world of gymnastics,

hating me was

practically a sport...

...in and of itself.

Everyone...

...Haley Graham...

has very graciously

come out of retirement

to join us.

Being out of shape isn't funny.

No making fun of her.

- Get dressed, Haley.

- Yeah, uh...

I accidentally burned

all my leotards last year.

Hope this is OK.

- You warmed up?

- What, to you? No.

Stretch and join vault rotation.

Let's see where you're at.

We're warmin' up

Yurchenkos.

Super. I'm goin' for

a "Butt-ahara."

- You mean a Tsukahara?

- No. I mean a "Butt-ahara."

Bing! Hm?

I know. My landing

was a little off.

Oh, no. Take a seat.

Just need to pick up

your run a little bit.

- Ivan can help you with that.

- Hmm?

Ivan.

Don't you dare fart.

Put me down, Shrek. Ow!

This isn't the real world.

This is my world.

You don't have to like me

or like it here.

But you do have to

respect it.

Respect?

Is this how you respect people?

You throw 'em over a shoulder

and violate personal space?

Oh, goody.

I heard you were like this.

I'm so glad it's true.

Sorry, what is it that you've

done to earn my respect?

We have rules.

We have rules for training.

Oh.

And the reason

that we have rules...

...and coaches is because

this is gymnastics.

Hey!

That was rude.

While danger and risk is the reality

of what we do, Haley, it's calculated.

Can't be calculated

if you don't respect the laws.

Uh-huh.

The laws of gravity,

for instance.

OK, what's your point?

Look, I want you

to be back here tomorrow

at 10am, ready to train.

Or we can call the judge,

and you can go to jail.

Hey, you decide.

Don't expect

me to train.

- And lose the hat tomorrow.

- Lose the gum.

Good morning, ladies.

How's your neck?

Feeling better?

- It feels much better.

- Good, good.

Now, remember, stretch.

Yeah?

Morning, Haley.

- Hey.

- Be with you in a minute.

Now... Well, you know

about your daughter.

Your daughter is

the best one, I've gotta say.

I've never seen

anything quite like her.

We'd like to fast-track her

towards becoming an elite.

- That's 20 hours a week.

- Well, she's a star.

- She's six.

- Oh...

I've got two other kids.

That is a big commitment.

We'd have her nationally ranked

by the time she's ten.

Olympic track by age 13.

That's the gold.

- You mean the goal.

- Did I say gold?

Well, you see?

I guess Madison and gold

are becoming synonymous for me.

I'll

have the check Tuesday.

- Wonderful.

- Uh, yeah.

You got a lot of people

going to the Olympics.

Just wondering, um,

what country are they gonna

represent? State of Delusion?

- Good, job, girls.

- I'm so hot. It's so hot outside.

Vick! When can we scrap

the old long-sleeve leotards?

We need new ones

for championships.

Every college

will be scouting me.

Not that you have

to worry about any of that.

New leotard might distract,

you know, the judges and scouts

from your lack of talent.

It's a solid strategy.

Gee, Pariah Carey, I wonder

why no one's scouting you.

Oh, I forgot, you don't matter.

That she can even

say the word "college"

is an indictment against

the whole institution.

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