Stick It
No. No, no. Sorry, bro.
This casa's not su casa.
No way.
Get out.
There's like
- That aren't as deep.
- You're not that good.
Off this roof,
onto the slide
and into the pool stays.
[ Fall Out Boy:
I SleptWith Someone in Fall Out Boy
And All I Got Was This
- Let's do it!
- Go, GC!
Yo, let me
use your phone.
Why? It's gonna be done
by the time anyone gets here.
I'm not
gonna call anyone.
I'm gonna take some shots
of the blood.
You OK?
Now the alarm goes off?
Guys, guys, guys,
gots to go! Leave it!
Let's go,
let's go, let's go!
This isn't
the first time
I've made out
with law enforcement.
We've kinda had
this ongoing flirtation.
We've been on some dates.
You know, broken up,
got back together.
But honestly, until now...
...I haven't been ready
for anything steady.
You're pushing it, Haley.
But, you know,
people change.
And I felt like
maybe I was ready
for a more
serious courtship.
Meet the court.
It looks to be about, uh,
14,000 in property damage.
Haley, I assure you
that juvenile incarceration
is not as much fun
as it sounds.
So we're going to
give you one more chance.
Your father is willing
to subsidize two options...
- I'll take her, Your Honor.
- Over my dead body.
Ya dumped us, remember?
Are you crazy?!
This is not OK. VGA?!
Let me have custody,
Your Honor.
- Alice!
- All right, now stop this, both of you.
Haley, I leave it
to you to decide.
Where would you like to go?
Texas Military Academy,
Your Honor.
- VGA it is.
- What?
Meet
my worst nightmare.
Brice! VGA, are you crazy?
Don't do this to her!
So it's about
a three-hour drive.
Take as much time
as you need.
Where's my sh*t?
Right there.
So you're just dumping me?
Huh? Just giving up
and not even talking to me?
You're the one
that gave up, Haley.
Guess you learned that
from your mom.
Don't send me to VGA.
And what do you think
I should do? Huh?
I don't know what
to do with you.
You used to be
such a good kid.
That's so interesting.
You used to be
a good dad.
Guess we're even.
- Cracker!
- Cracker, wait up!
Aww.
Dude, you
didn't name names.
I would never
do that to you guys.
- So, what happened?
- Yeah, where you goin'?
Uh... juvy.
Outside of Houston.
- Can we visit?
- Yeah, when you bust me out.
Know how I feel.
Consider it done.
Well done.
Charred to a crisp.
- OK, we have to go, guys.
- Wait, wait. Take my phone.
Use it if they
don't take it.
- What are you gonna use?
- I'll steal my brother's.
I got really good shots
of that jump.
- That sh*t was legendary.
- Off the hook!
Later, Cracker!
Yeah!
- Did you catch that?
- What?
That I'm totally
her favorite?
Dude, why do you always gotta
bite my moment? It taste good?
Delicious.
Anybody home?
Anybody care?
VGA.
Otherwise known as the
Vickerman Gymnastics Academy.
There's only one thing worse
than having no control
over your life.
with people who hate you.
And I was suddenly the filling
in the middle
of an "I hate you" sandwich.
Meet the bread.
Ladies, read my mind.
Read my mind, ladies.
Burt Vickerman used to
whip up the best gymnasts
west of the Mississippi.
That is, until his gym
starting producing
more injuries than champions.
We'd never met, and I'd been
hoping to keep it that way.
Is my mind saying "relax"?
Maybe you can read my mind,
and it's completely lost.
Have I lost my mind?
Is that why you're
staring off into space?
Ah.
- Join us.
- What is she doing here?
Joanne Charis.
Four-time national team member,
five-time national Haley-hater.
Why all the hate?
Well, when you walk out on Worlds
and lose Team USA some team gold,
it's not personal.
It's national.
And in the world of gymnastics,
hating me was
practically a sport...
...in and of itself.
Everyone...
...Haley Graham...
has very graciously
come out of retirement
to join us.
Being out of shape isn't funny.
No making fun of her.
- Get dressed, Haley.
- Yeah, uh...
I accidentally burned
all my leotards last year.
Hope this is OK.
- You warmed up?
- What, to you? No.
Stretch and join vault rotation.
Let's see where you're at.
We're warmin' up
Yurchenkos.
Super. I'm goin' for
a "Butt-ahara."
- You mean a Tsukahara?
- No. I mean a "Butt-ahara."
Bing! Hm?
I know. My landing
was a little off.
Oh, no. Take a seat.
Just need to pick up
your run a little bit.
- Ivan can help you with that.
- Hmm?
Ivan.
Don't you dare fart.
Put me down, Shrek. Ow!
This isn't the real world.
This is my world.
You don't have to like me
or like it here.
But you do have to
respect it.
Respect?
Is this how you respect people?
You throw 'em over a shoulder
Oh, goody.
I heard you were like this.
I'm so glad it's true.
Sorry, what is it that you've
done to earn my respect?
We have rules.
We have rules for training.
Oh.
And the reason
that we have rules...
...and coaches is because
this is gymnastics.
Hey!
That was rude.
While danger and risk is the reality
of what we do, Haley, it's calculated.
Can't be calculated
if you don't respect the laws.
Uh-huh.
The laws of gravity,
for instance.
OK, what's your point?
Look, I want you
to be back here tomorrow
at 10am, ready to train.
Or we can call the judge,
and you can go to jail.
Hey, you decide.
Don't expect
me to train.
- And lose the hat tomorrow.
- Lose the gum.
Good morning, ladies.
How's your neck?
Feeling better?
- It feels much better.
- Good, good.
Now, remember, stretch.
Yeah?
Morning, Haley.
- Hey.
- Be with you in a minute.
Now... Well, you know
about your daughter.
Your daughter is
the best one, I've gotta say.
I've never seen
anything quite like her.
We'd like to fast-track her
towards becoming an elite.
- That's 20 hours a week.
- Well, she's a star.
- She's six.
- Oh...
I've got two other kids.
That is a big commitment.
We'd have her nationally ranked
by the time she's ten.
Olympic track by age 13.
That's the gold.
- You mean the goal.
- Did I say gold?
Well, you see?
are becoming synonymous for me.
I'll
have the check Tuesday.
- Wonderful.
- Uh, yeah.
You got a lot of people
going to the Olympics.
Just wondering, um,
what country are they gonna
represent? State of Delusion?
- Good, job, girls.
- I'm so hot. It's so hot outside.
Vick! When can we scrap
the old long-sleeve leotards?
We need new ones
for championships.
Every college
will be scouting me.
Not that you have
you know, the judges and scouts
from your lack of talent.
It's a solid strategy.
Gee, Pariah Carey, I wonder
why no one's scouting you.
Oh, I forgot, you don't matter.
That she can even
say the word "college"
is an indictment against
the whole institution.
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