Stick It Page #2

Hey, Filibuster,

no one cares.

- Wei Wei. Those moves are throwing off your routines.

- Sorry.

Chalk.

Storage closet. Now.

Pretty feet, pretty feet.

Point them hard,

and win the meet.

Very good. Yes.

Dorrie, did you

see the last one?

Wow.

Dj-jealous, Haley?

Bring back memories?

We trained together

at Defrank's for how long?

That would be, uh...

too long.

And he'd give you so much

attention because you sucked.

Right.

Yeah, I sucked

my way to Worlds.

Glad to see you haven't lost

your love of accuracy, Joanne.

Well, at least I didn't make it

all the way to Worlds and...

...um, choke.

Here,

let me show you how,

you little...

Hey!

Stop right now! Stop it!

I said, pointy feet,

not pointy words.

Pointy words

are mouth turds. God!

I'm OK. She's crazy.

I'm so jealous of Joanne

that I've actually

already memorized

her preschool beam routine.

Hey, easy.

I choreographed that routine.

Your secret is safe with me.

We got some finger-flickin'

good choreography.

And the classic butt shelf.

Joanne, how embarrassing.

Then we have some

useless bits of fluff

to get us from

point A to point B.

And induces the urge to vacuum.

- Mina, right?

- Yeah, Mina.

Mina, put down the phone.

Can you tell Joanne

that I'm gonna take over

and do a real dismount?

Joanne, Haley's on the phone.

She's gonna do a real dismount.

I heard her, thank you.

How 'bout a double back?

You will not throw a double back

without training it first.

- Close your eyes.

- Over my dead body.

- Little CPR might do you good.

- Haley!

Ahh...

Shall we share our philosophy

with Haley, ladies?

Speak my mind.

What are we about?

Clean, safe routines,

guaranteed to stick.

Is he keeping

your brains in jars?

Or should I be concerned

about the water?

Shall we show Haley

what discipline is all about?

Please join us, Haley.

Ehh. No, thanks.

I'm kinda tired.

Oh, all right. Fine.

Ladies, outside, now!

Point your toes, ladies.

You're gonna keep going

until Haley participates.

This is, like,

globally unfair.

- We're gonna be here all night.

- Lift your knees... Joanne.

This is totally

violating the penile code.

Hey!

Hey! You guys.

What, do you want me

to pick the lock, or what?

Can you come let me in?

Oh, right. Thank you.

Get lost!

Haley, let's go for a drive.

- ...deserve to be.

- A what?

Thank you, Lorelei,

that was delicious.

Actually, you know what?

I'm gonna finish this off...

- No, no.

- ...if that's OK.

- Thank you.

- Are you serious?

I heard you were

strict about diet,

but this is just rude.

Hey, you piss where I eat,

you don't eat.

Oh, but you do?

What, does this mean

you're eating my piss?

Well, that's disgusting.

What a charming

young lady you are.

Yeah, that's

what they say.

Listen, I don't suppose,

uh, college gymnastics

is on your to-do list,

right?

Correct. College gymnastics

is one big fat to-don't.

Great. Then in

addition to sparing

innocent collegiate

gymnastics coaches everywhere,

you can keep

any purse money

that you might win,

free and clear.

I'm not competing

or training again. Ever.

Oh, you're gonna piss off

the judge and kiss 18 goodbye?

I guess.

- Hey.

- What the...?

The IG Classic is

comin' up in a month.

Now, you apply yourself,

you could win

some restitution money.

It could get ya outta here.

What do you think?

I think if you showed up

at the Classic with me

an angry mob would

probably cut your brakes.

- I got insurance.

- Really?

Well, no, thank you.

This sport is a total joke.

You know this.

Sorry to dis your

life's work and all. No offense.

Hey, none taken.

There's nothin' fair about

a girl landing a double pike

and losing a tenth 'cause

her toes weren't pointed.

Nothin' fair about judges

who don't have instant replay,

and they're lookin'

for perfection.

Can you imagine football

without instant replay?

- What about the rules?

- It'd be mayhem.

The Code of Point?

Hey...

Yeah. I mean, it makes conventionality

good and innovation bad.

What's the point?

How 'bout the fact

that you were one

of the greatest natural talents

the sport's ever seen? Hmm?

C'mon, you coulda been great.

You're

not actually pushing

the "you coulda

been great" speech.

You are a total clich.

You realize that, right?

Oh, OK, come on, uh,

Original Recipe, let's hear it.

You give me the speech.

Fine. Uh...

Talent out of the ass.

Natural ability that

half the world's gymnasts

would kill for, and

you're flushing it away.

Don't flush

your life away, kid.

Step away from the bowl.

Whatever.

Well, you got

the words right anyway.

I wasn't great.

I was obedient.

I'm sick and tired

of being judged.

I don't need it.

- Fascinating.

- What?

For someone who

hates being judged,

you're one of the most

judgmental people I've ever met.

Come on.

Well, it's only about

five miles to the gym.

Just down here.

Hang a right at the gas station.

I know how to get back.

Oh, good. Hey.

Hey, Miss Rebel

Without Applause.

Tell you what...

...you choose to compete in the

IG Classic, you can come back.

How's that?

Hike'll give you a chance

to think things over.

Yeah, well, what if I

choose not to come back?

Haley...

...tell you the truth...

...nobody cares.

Nobody cares what ya do.

Wait.

I don't...

I have nowhere else to go.

Yeah, I know.

- Hey.

- Ew.

What?

Oh, how was

your run last night?

- Oh, fantastic, thank you.

- Yeah?

Listen, are you

being serious with me?

Because I've had enough

of lunatic adults for a while.

- I'll do what I said I'd do.

- For real.

I'll train you

for the Classic.

Help you win the purse.

Great. So then

here's the deal:

Uh, I'm not struggling

in front of those robots.

All right.

I'll let you

train at the old gym till

you're ready to face the music.

- How's that?

- You're gonna trust me

to be in there alone

and if anything happens,

- I don't wanna hear...

- I got insurance.

Come on, get goin'.

You're in training, kid.

- Get goin'!

- What are you talking about?

No, I'm... We just discussed...

I... You suck!

Gymnastics

tells you "no" all day long.

It mocks you

over and over again.

Telling you, you're an idiot.

That you're crazy.

If you like running full speed

towards a stationary object,

vault's for you.

If you like peeling

pieces of skin

the size of quarters

off your hands,

bars is for you.

Because the only thing

more fun than rips

is when your rips get rips.

It's super sexy.

And floor...

Are you serious?

I mean, who doesn't wanna

parade around in a leotard

getting wedgies and

doing dorky choreography?

It's delicious.

If you like falling,

then gymnastics

is the sport for you.

Oh!

You get to fall on your face,

your ass, your back,

your knees and your pride.

Good thing

I didn't like falling.

I loved it!

Hey.

This mean you can

finally walk again?

Or should we keep the

icemaker on overdrive?

Question, they say

those who can't do, coach.

So I was wondering,

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