Stick It Page #5

Haley.

Don't do this again.

Let's go back in there

and finish this meet. Come on.

Don't bail again.

Finish the meet.

- Finish it for yourself!

- For me?

Yeah, you know,

you said something

about the fact that

this was about me.

You know, helping me.

My freedom.

You forgot to tell me about the

part you were cashing in on it.

Haley. I meant

everything I said.

I never lied to you.

Everything you said

was an insurance policy

to get those fat checks

from my father.

Haley, you're not

leaving like this.

You're gonna go back in there.

Finish this meet.

Don't make this another Worlds.

- No.

- Don't bail.

You don't know

the first thing about Worlds.

Fine, I give up.

You know, we gave it a shot.

I'm gonna talk

to your father.

Maybe you should

go back to Defrank's.

- Chris Defrank's?

- Hey...

You want me to

go back to Defrank's?

Well, you don't listen to me.

You know? Clearly you listened

to him long enough to...

Yeah, long enough to

hook up with my mom.

Hmm?

Long enough for him to...

...rip my family apart.

Oh, hey. When d...?

When did ya find this out?

Before floor...

...at Worlds.

Aw, Haley, I...

I had no idea.

- I'm sorry.

- You know what?

You didn't owe it to me

to be a decent coach.

You owed it to me to be

a decent human being.

You tanked like a rock star.

That was insane.

Yeah, right.

Hey, Haley, can I

ask you something?

And I'm being

completely serious.

Why do girls wear so much glitter

and clippage in their hair?

I mean, that is some

uptight friggin' hair. Right?

How do leotards not

ride up their butts?

- Yeah, good one.

- Tuf-Skin.

Aww.

They have ass calluses?

No. Uh...

It's just this sticky stuff

you spray on your butt

so the leotard doesn't ride up.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Can I get that job?

I wanna be Tuf-Skin.

- Shut up.

- Hey.

What would happen

if you put

some of that Tuf-Skin

stuff on tough skin?

Your head would

stick to your butt.

Why would my head

stick to my butt?

'Cause your head's

already up there! Ah!

Don't worry, Frank...

...my head's up my butt too.

Far.

Oh. Have a seat, Haley.

I'd like you to read something

for me, please, out loud.

Second paragraph.

Uh... "The gymnastics world,

like the real world,

can be a very unforgiving place.

As I know all too well,

there might be too much

chalk on the blackboard

for her to get a clean slate,

competing with me

or anyone else.

And Haley has earned

the right to a clean slate.

She's quite capable of

deciding what's best for her.

And I encourage the court

to include her perspective

in its decision.

Sincerely, Burt Vickerman."

That's all, Haley.

You're free to go.

What about the restitution?

Oh, that's been taken care of.

Be good.

Sounds like

you're built for it.

Thank you.

You know, Haley,

there are a lot

of great people

who had jerks for parents.

We gotta stick together.

- The tights?

- What are they? In Special Ed?

- You'd know, huh?

- Nice.

Whatever.

Hey, guys,

I have a gut feelin'

somethin' bad's

gonna happen.

- What?

- What do you mean, dude?

Oh! Dude,

keep it over there!

Whoo!

- Oh!

- What? I can't hold it.

Stay tight in the air.

Oh, nice! Nice. Nice.

You got through an entire letter

without using the word "gold."

It was tough.

And the restitution.

I mean, was that...?

Dev?

Give us a sec, would ya?

Look, don't... uh, don't

read anything into it.

- You didn't have to do that.

- I...

I paid with your father's money.

You know what? I, uh...

I completely misjudged you.

Hmm.

I've decided I'm gonna

take you to Championships.

You know, show you

how to really do it.

Come on,

you're high on chalk.

Who even said you could stay?

I didn't say you could stay.

- Haley!

- Hey, Mina.

- Hey.

- Hey, Wei Wei.

- We're so sorry.

- Yeah.

Joanne kind of

misrepresented...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Don't worry, I understand.

Listen, I'll stay

on one condition.

Oh, this I gotta hear.

Does it involve you

and self-imposed silence?

Get back on the tramp.

You girls

wanna see Vick do a layout?

He's so, like, old, though.

- Hey.

- Uh, he might break a hip.

No. He'll be fine.

Come on.

I'll go to Championships if

you get on the tramp right now,

and you do a layout.

- It's your call.

- Don't do it, Vick.

This is a really bad idea.

Come on, Vick.

Vick!

Vick! Vick! Vick!

If you get on this tramp,

you will have a cardiovasectomy.

I will have

a cardiovasectomy.

Come on, Vick!

Come on! Come on, Vick!

- You can do it!

- Guys. Peer pressure.

- Ah!

- Think about your weenus.

- Come on, Vick!

- Go, Vick!

Vick! Vick!

Vick! Vick!

- Layout!

- Layout! Layout!

- Come on, Vick!

- Layout! Layout! Layout!

OK, you can come down now.

How 'bout a full?

- What?

- Yeah, boy!

Yeah!

- Oh, no!

- Oh, my God.

I told you so.

Call 911. Ohh!

- Bye, Vick.

- He can't hear you.

- What's up?

- Hiya.

Hey, ladies!

How ya doin'?

Hi.

I'm Poot, and this is

my hetero life-mate, Frank.

And we're here to be

your hosts for this evening

'cause we're goin' out! Ow!

No, we aren't. We have

workouts to finish.

Who died and

made you Nadia?

You know you wanna go.

We can't just leave.

Championships are three weeks away.

Our routines

need to be perfect.

Put some clothes on and get in the truck.

We're goin' out.

- Come on!

- Yeah!

Come on.

Can you speak?

Can you do anything

besides gymnastics?

OK. Anything to

get out of this 'tard.

That's "leotard"

without the "leo."

In case

you were wondering.

Dude, she's hot.

What? You don't think

she's hot? I think she's hot.

Dude, she has

an apple butt.

- A what?

- An apple butt.

[ Fannypack:
Nu Nu

Whoops.

OK, now my turn.

So is Frank your, like,

boyfriend or something?

Like, no.

- Is Poot?

- No.

- Why not?

- Ew!

So they're, like, fair game?

- Ye...

- Hey, stupid.

I prefer the term

"meat," please.

That was spastic.

Thank you.

May I accompany you

to the jellybeans?

You may.

After you, milady.

Yes!

We're out of the starlet blue.

We're out, we're out, we're out.

- Excuse me. I'll take this one.

- OK.

- And I'm so sorry about them.

- Why? It's hilarious.

- Hey.

- Hey.

We also have that style

with spaghetti straps.

Huh. So, uh, why

are you buying a dress?

Because you're

taking me to your prom.

Well, shouldn't you

be buying a tux? Just kidding.

We can both

wear dresses.

Don't worry.

I'll totally shave.

OK.

I have a gut feelin'

somethin' bad's gonna happen.

Oh, dude!

Woo-hoo!

- Bye-ya.

- Later.

- Call you guys later.

- Sweet.

Maybe. Maybe not.

Depends.

- Poot?

- Yes.

- We have a lot to review.

- We do?

Bye, geeks, I'm out.

- Later.

- See ya.

When is your prom?

I need time, dates,

transportation.

And you better be

getting me a corsage.

Are you kidding me?

She's a b*tch.

- Dude.

- What?

You heard me, Miss Bossy Booty.

I don't like how you act.

Dude, I totally

hate you right now.

Uh, see, what Frank is

really tryin' to say is,

um, it would

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