Stillwater

---

(ominous atmospheric music)

The story hasn't changed?

Almost to the word.

I'd like to hear it from him.

Okay, but he's gonna

tell you exactly...

I'd still like to

hear it from him.

Okay.

Hey, Willie, how are we today?

I'd like to hear

about your camping trip.

[Maxwell] We're here to help.

But you need to tell us

exactly what happened.

Ask the others.

[Hastings] We

have their versions.

I'm interested in your version.

[Maxwell] Come on, Willie,

help us set the record straight.

("The Coming Days"

by Hello Echo)

Drew a face in the air

Was my own and back

at me it stared

Said it's time to wake up

The coming days

aren't a given

Is that job what

you're supposed to do

Then I woke on the stairs

With my brains all

mixed up with my hair

Guess its time to get up

No one put us in prison

But we're acting unfortunate

Time is on our side but we

were fooled, we lost the way

Wait did we

Dawson?

Man, you're gonna have to

drop this whole sour act, bro,

because if I remember

correctly, this whole trip

was your whole idea

in the first place.

Yeah, I know.

Do you?

Because from my vantage point,

it seems to me like

you haven't been trying

to plan this whole thing

for like, what, 15 years?

Dude.

Seriously, man, f*** Ashley.

Okay?

I told you, you guys

shouldn't have gotten married

and you made a mistake,

so you gotta just

forget about it.

You're gonna have to say it.

F*** Ashley.

Say it with me, come on,

we'll do it together.

I'll help you.

Ffff...

F*** Ashley.

Yeah, there he

is, good to see you.

Thanks for coming back.

We're gonna have

a good time, man.

We're gonna get

the guys together.

We're gonna get drunk.

You know, maybe

play truth or dare.

No talk of divorce, lawyers,

none of that bullshit, man.

No worries, doctor's orders.

Willie, you're a foot doctor.

A podiatrist is the

correct term, thanks,

and that's still a doctor.

A doctor who

smokes cigarettes.

It's a little bit like a

dentist with bad teeth, right?

(laughing)

Dentists get

paid more than me,

but don't worry about

that, I'm quitting.

[Dawson] You've been

talking about quitting

since we were in high school.

- (light rock music)

- [Willie] Yeah?

Well, something about

hanging out with you guys

just brings it out in me.

(sniffing)

(chuckling)

Here you go.

That's you.

- Hey, check this out.

- What?

Three, two.

There you go.

Thank you.

Oh, my God, Dawson.

Is that Cooper Dunn,

the Cooper Dunn?

In the goddamn flesh.

Slick Willie.

(laughing)

When did you go

and grow up, huh?

Still overdressing

I see, though.

You look like a Scientologist.

Yeah, you should join.

It might help your career.

Ha.

- Been too long, Coop.

- Hey, maybe for you losers.

Time flies when you're living

the dream, let me tell you.

Oh, the dream?

The dream.

I heard you moved back home?

Just a temporary

blip on the radar.

[Willie] All right.

- Ya got it?

- [Dawson] Yup, how you doin'?

All right.

Lean it.

So, where's the

Leechster at, huh?

Something came

up back at home.

Said he's gonna

meet us at the spot.

All right, yeah.

It's classic Leech.

Is he still living

in his ma's basement?

Well, not till he has enough

of that lake house, you know?

He's a children's

book author now, so...

(laughing)

[Cooper] Shut up.

[Dawson] This is it, boys.

Our destiny awaits.

1,500 miles of

uninhabitated wilderness.

Oh, check this out.

(whistling)

Thank you, honey.

(laughing)

Are you kidding me?

It's not bad, right?

No, I'm talking

about your luggage.

Oh, no.

No, I'm not.

All right, let's go.

(light orchestral rock music)

[Willie] All right, got it?

[Dawson] Got it.

Yep.

[Dawson] Oh, there we go.

Whoa.

Too soon, man.

Okay.

Doing all right, Coop?

[Cooper] Yeah, I'm good.

[Willie] Who

f***ing asked you?

All right, we're gonna

have to partner with them.

[Cooper] Yeah, bro.

All right, what else?

That was an interesting move.

Oh, gotta do better than that.

[Dawson] You got that?

[Cooper] Yeah.

Dawson.

(laughing)

[Dawson] Will.

[Cooper] I got it, come on.

[Dawson] Put your hand on it.

[Willie] Jesus Christ, buddy.

[Dawson] You gotta just

jump over there, bro.

[Cooper] F***.

Dawson.

[Willie] Where you at, Coop?

Need some help?

(laughing)

I'm kidding.

Wait up.

[Dawson] Richie, Jack.

Aw, boy.

Look at these guys.

Oh, gosh, and Cooper Dunn.

(laughing)

Lieutenant Dan

himself, magic legs.

And who you supposed

to be again?

I always say a cross between

Waldo and the Brawny man.

Oh, really?

'Cause I say you can

all go f*** yourselves.

(laughing)

Ooh, oh, shots fired.

Oh, look at you.

- You made it.

- What's up, man, how are you?

Bring it in, come here.

Now we're talking.

What's going on?

How are you?

- Good, good.

- Good?

For crying out loud.

Well, I hear you're some

sort of foot doctor now.

[Willie] Yeah,

something like that.

It's called a podiatrist.

[Richie] Oh, finally put

that fetish to use, huh?

[Willie] Hey,

shut the f*** up.

Shut the f*** up.

Shut up.

(laughing)

[Cooper] Will you

call me a pizza?

You're a real piece of work.

You're a real piece

of work, this guy.

(laughing)

Jackson, which one of

these tents is for me, pal?

No, Jack, this is incredible.

Thank you for

setting it up, man.

For sure, though, Richie

did most of the work.

Most?

Yeah, try all.

Two tours in Afghanistan,

I didn't have to lug around

as much sh*t as

this guy made me.

He just sits down here,

relaxin', drinking a beer,

he's got me climbing

trees, dangling off limbs,

to put his f***ing star

camera up in the sky there.

He's relaxing.

- He's on vacation.

- He is on vacation.

Bring it in.

Look, this was last night.

That, my friends,

is the milky way.

You should it when we

display this in the shop.

It puts customers in

like a serious trance.

Wow.

Well, that is f***ing

great, Copernicus,

but can we get

back to tents now,

'cause I wanna be as

far as I possibly can

from all of you,

especially Dawson, now that I

remember how loud he snores.

And I need my

f***ing beauty sleep.

Hey, you ever get

tired of being you, Coop?

No.

(laughing)

Why?

You're way out

there, mister big shot.

Okay, that's Willie, that's

Dawson, that's me and Richie

over here, and then lastly...

Hey, speak of the devil.

- What's up, motherfuckers?

- Ah, damn it.

Oh, what's the matter?

What, you didn't

think I'd make it?

[Richie] You have

been known, Leech.

Ah, bullshit.

Look, you wouldn't have made

it if you'd been through

what I just went through.

I mean sh*t, first my

publicist calls me, right?

She's on the phone

with me for four hours,

talking my ear off.

I'm like, oh my god,

I'm stressed out.

So, I go to stop, pull

over, get a beer, right?

Go to pay for the beer,

lost my f***ing wallet.

Jesus Christ, I don't

even wanna tell you

what I had to do to

negotiate these bad boys.

Seriously, another

story, another time.

Sh*t's f***ed.

Anyway, I get on

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