Storm in a Teacup Page #2

another look at it.

What a little brat!

He is English... I think.

Well, it's away, or we'll miss the train.

- I'll look on Willie and say goodbye.

- What for?

Willie's lovely Town Hall!

Is that all?

- Yes, Provost.

- Then you can go.

You'll be coming in to the meeting soon?

Baillie Callender is having

a sour time in the chair.

I'll be around in a minute, now clear out.

Victoria, you better go up into the gallery

to see the front.

Father, can I ask you something?

Well, I'm rather busy.

Why did you sack Jessie?

Jessie, what?

Oh, the parlour maid!

She got a bit above herself, Vickie...

and Lisbeth very kindly

disposed of her for me.

Lisbeth?

Now, who's mentioning my name?

Why Victoria, I wouldn't

have recognized you.

How nice of you to look in

and welcome me back!

Yes...

You've quite grown up, dear.

Willie, I just look in to say goodbye.

That was good of you, Lisbeth.

- Be back in time for the meeting.

- Oh, don't you worry!

I couldn't do without you on the platform.

No, I don't think you could.

Well, I'm to the station now, or Horace

will have the jitters.

How is Horace?

Just his old self.

Gentlemen please, you're wasting time.

The Provost has decided.

Next business!

Item no. 7:
The bathing drawers for the

instructors of the new swimming pool.

As chairman of the Cleansing

and Parks committee...

I've looked in these

drawers very carefully.

And they certainly present some problems.

This is the sort of garment

that I would suggest...

But Mr. Deputy Chairman, the instructors

complained that are not practical.

They can not swim in them.

So there we're back to

the old problem...

Whether we should choose

the trunks of the knee long kind...

Or the trunks of the short kind...

In other words...

Either we decide upon an adequately

discreet trunk with limited mobility...

Or desire a good mobility

without adequate discretion.

Neither, in my opinion,

are really satisfactory.

We have to satisfy...

I move that the bathing drawers

are on the table. Sit down!

Next business!

Item no. 8:

Supply a new hose for the fire brigade.

- Hello!

- Hello.

- What are you doing here?

- Just getting up to date.

You won't get that one here!

This is a very serious matter.

Mr. Syme, that's got nothing

to do with the question.

I move that the whole matter be postponed

for further investigation.

But Mr. Provost...

Will you kindly resume your seat?

Next business!

Overbearing kind of bloke, isn't he?

- Who?

- The headmaster.

Mr. Provost...

With regard to my

objection to that...

Don't bring that up again please!

You made a mistake!

I don't think so!

The trouble is, you don't think at all!

Next business.

If she is not very careful, she'll be put

in the corner for getting out of line.

I've an application from Ross,

the stoker of the municipal laundry...

Asking for a raise of a half pound a week.

- On what grounds?

- The same old grounds!

His good lady presented him with twins.

In my view, if we grant this application we're

only asking for a fourth pair of twins.

Suppose he had four pairs of twins.

On second thought, thanks

to the Lord he hasn't.

Gentlemen...

We've something more important to discuss

than Mr. Ross' weekly milk bill.

We'll hand the merit to the

Ways and Means committee.

We will now discuss my scheme for publicizing

Baikie throughout the Country as a tourist resort.

You had copies of the detailed memorandum

I've drawn up.

And...

I'll assume that you all have taken

the trouble to read it.

That fellow give me a pain in the neck.

Oh dear...

Honoria!

McKellen, where in heavens

may have you been?

- You can't come here.

- No, nor can I do anything else!

I can't sit here with my two hands folded

in front of me like a mummy.

But they're about to adjourn,

the Provost will be coming.

It's himself I'm after!

Oh, he won't see you, Honoria.

He won't avoid it!

There was one important item

that was not on the agenda.

We're wanting your authorization for the purchase

of new nutrition plants for the orphanage.

What happened to the old ones?

Why, the orphans ate the seeds.

- They did, did they?

- Ay.

- I'll look into that Mr Thompson.

- Thank you, Mr. Provost.

One moment Mr. Provost, Your Honour...

You know all about me

since I know all about you...

It's meself, Honoria Hegarty.

Not a word now!

I know what you want to say.

Don't say it!

It's all very fine and large as the law,

don't I know!

And I know you can't make exceptions!

They tell me all that at the office.

I know it's all on your good word!

But it's why I'm telling you

it's all nonsense!

Will you kindly stop talking and

get out of my way!

Listen, Honoria...

- Excuse me, sir.

- Yes, what do you want?

Nothing. I was told

I had to interview you.

Oh, you are from the Advertiser!

Do you mind coming home with me?

Not at all. I'll...

Wait till you attend to this lady.

Your Honour, it's not meself

I'm thinking on, it's Patsy.

My little Patsy, he's the heart and soul

of me body, I'm telling you no lie.

If he goes, I go too.

Up to heaven among the blessed saints.

And it'll be all your fault!

If you annoy me any further

I'll have you locked up!

- Come along, Mr...

- Burdon, but...

Are you coming?

Get in!

Go on then!

Move up!

Oh, this is my

daughter, Victoria.

Move up!

- How do you do?

- How do you do?

If you knew my Patsy, you wouldn't have a

grin the like that all over your face.

Oh, but I know him all right!

What's that?

You know him?

Well, in a manner of speaking,

he's lodging here with me!

You con me!

Look in the chest, Honoria.

Patsy, me son!

Why, the light of this woman's life!

Oh me beautiful Patsy,

me lovely Patsy!

And what in the name of the holy

apostolates, is he doing here...

In your own apartment,

in a wooden box?

They couldn't have him

at the police station.

You see, it's this way...

The police Sgt. Bull... Terrier

b*tch, she...

Well, what is it man, speak out.

Oh, for heaven's sake...

And so the borough chief

has given me the custody.

- He is a fine little fellow!

- He is that, Honoria.

- He eats like a wee wolf.

- He loves his bread with milk for breakfast.

- I made him a nice ball of rice.

- He's eating all right, darling.

Well, hmm...

I feel kind of funny with him around.

He makes a sort of condemned cell

atmosphere of this my lodgings.

What's that?

What'd you say...

You don't mean...

Ay...

They can't! They can't!

- Come on, Come on!

- Yes.

- Sit down!

- Oh, thanks.

- No, not there, not there, there.

- Sorry.

I hear you're turning politician, Mr. Gow.

Politician? Ah!

Statesman!

Father wants to be Prime Minister

of the first Scotch Parliament.

Scottish, Vickie, Scottish!

Help yourself to a Scottish and soda!

I'll leave you to it.

Hey, what's your name, you there...

Just a second, Mr. Gow.

You've no cause to be jumping about

like a poodle in this house. Sit down!

Stagnation of public life.

What, sir?

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