Stowaway Page #2

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Now, let her go, lad. Better fish in the sea.

You know, this reminds me

of an experience I had in Kansas City.

I met this little lady.

Very fine and very demure.

Mr Wu, you oughta be ashamed.

(thunder)

(Tommy hums a tune)

- Just like a lullaby, eh, Colonel?

- Hmm.

A Chinese lullaby.

- Oh, there you are, Mr Randall, sir.

- Little Lord Fauntleroy.

- Go away. I don't want to talk to you.

- Your car. We must get it aboard.

- The captain's holding up the boat, sir.

- All on account of you, Atkins.

You're a heedless, thoughtless butterfly.

No consideration for others. No...

I thought so.

Colonel, this man's been drinking.

Please, sir, we must hurry, sir. Now, please.

See here.

- Steady, Atkins, steady.

- Now, Tommy, we mustn't be too harsh.

I used to have an uncle that drank.

It's a madness in the blood.

Please, sir, I can walk for myself, sir.

You'll be all right,

but you mustn't shout like that.

We'll get you back on the boat

safe and sound.

It's quite all right.

I can really get there myself.

- It's quite all right.

- Get in there.

- Get in, Tommy, and hold him there.

- No, sir, I'm not drunk, I assure you.

- Are you sober enough to drive?

- Look out.

(ship's whistle)

(Mr Wu yaps)

- I could've sworn I heard something.

- I bet it's a stowaway.

Who's there?

If there's anybody down here, let's find them.

(rattling)

You search behind the sacks. You too.

You check behind the cars.

Steward! Steward!

We found a stowaway in the hold,

but he got away.

Very well.

Jenkins, spread a general alarm.

We seem to have stowaways aboard.

At once, sir.

(bell)

Come in.

- Right there, steward.

- Yes, missy.

You were told to watch for stowaways

before we sailed.

- I did, sir.

- Well, if we find one, you'll be out of a job.

You can come back for these things

in half an hour, steward.

And, mind you, he was only 12.

Richard spoke up as quick as a flash,

and what do you think he said, Susan?

"You may use my bicycle, Geraldine."

"I love sport, but I love

the principles of manhood more."

- I'm afraid I'm boring you.

- Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs Hope.

- Richard told me that story three times.

- I tell it not because Richard is my son.

I tell it merely because I believe that you,

as his future wife, might be interested.

Apparently, I was mistaken.

Mark my words, Susan, the time will come

when you'll be just as devoted to Richard...

But I am devoted to him. Only...

Only you have a peculiar way

of demonstrating your devotion.

Who is in there?

(Mr Wu growls)

(screams)

Help! Help!

- Help!

- What happened?

- There's a man in there.

- What's up?

- The stowaway.

- He growled at me.

- (door rattles)

- Come out.

Come out of there or I'll blow you out.

Well, I'll be...

- Aw, the poor little thing. We frightened her.

- She's frightened us.

- What's your name?

- In Chinese or American?

What?

In American it's Barbara Stewart.

But in Chinese it's Ching-Ching.

- What are you doing here?

- Hiding.

Hiding? Why?

The man said I was a stowaway.

- Well, are you?

- I... I guess so. What's a stowaway?

- How did you ever get on this ship, anyway?

- I don't know.

I never heard of such a thing in all my life.

I can't understand it.

- Neither can I.

- Oh, please don't be impertinent.

- She didn't mean to be. Did you, dear?

- No, I didn't.

- What's all this?

- We found the stowaway.

- Where is he?

- It's a she, sir.

It's this child here.

What, you?

I guess so.

She doesn't even know how she got aboard.

- What am I gonna do with you, young lady?

- I'll look after her.

- Susan, don't be absurd.

- She won't be any trouble.

Fine, Miss Parker. Bring her to my quarters

after lunch and we'll have a talk with her.

- You can return to your post now, Jenkins.

- Aye, sir.

See you later, stowaway.

(Mr Wu barks)

Captain, can we put this... animal

in the kennel?

Oh!

They'll take good care of it.

You'll give it a big dinner.

Why, of course I will. Here.

Don't you worry, I'll take care of it.

It isn't an it, sir. It's a him.

I've never had a dress as nice as this.

The ship's store is full of them.

All you have to do is get this one dirty

and we'll find you another one.

Do you think your mother

will like me better now I look beautiful?

- Mrs Hope isn't my mother.

- No?

Well, that is, not yet.

- See?

- Yes, I see.

It's time we turned the child

over to the captain.

After all, charity has its limits.

What did you mean when you said you didn't

know how you got on this ship? You must.

But I don't, honestly.

The last thing I remember

is that I fell asleep in Uncle Tommy's car.

Uncle Tommy? Tommy who?

Randall. Tommy Randall.

- (both) Tommy Randall!

- Mm-hm.

- Your Uncle Tommy is on board this ship.

- He is?

I might've known you were his niece.

- He's a problem child too.

- I'll take you to him, Ching-Ching.

Considering his reputation,

you'd better turn her over to the captain.

Very well.

Well, it seems odd, but with Mr Randall,

nothing surprises me.

- Good morning, Captain.

- Good morning, Atkins.

- We'd like to see Mr Randall.

- Mr Randall's still asleep, sir.

- Well, it's about time he got up.

- Mr Randall never gets up until two, sir.

(laughs) I'm sorry, but this is important,

so you'd better call him.

- Mr Randall will be very annoyed, sir.

- Tell him a pretty lady wants to see him.

- If I know Tommy Randall, that'll get him up.

- Yes, I'm afraid it will, sir.

Won't you be seated, please?

- I beg your pardon, sir.

- (snoring)

- I beg your pardon, sir!

- Go away, Fauntleroy.

Sorry, but there's a young lady to see you.

- Huh?

- There's a young lady to see you.

I think it's rather urgent.

- That's bad.

- She's very beautiful, sir.

Oh?

- Well, that's not so bad.

- She has a child with her, sir.

Oh, that is bad.

She also has the captain with her.

He insists on seeing you.

That's very bad.

Here you are, sir.

- What's that?

- Your chequebook, sir.

Oh...

I don't know what your game is,

but I never saw you before.

I have witnesses to my whereabouts

for the past 27 years.

- Mr Randall!

- Uncle Tommy!

Ching-Ching. What on earth...? Please forgive

me, I'm awfully sorry. I'm not quite awake yet.

What are you doing on this boat?

I'm a stowaway, but I didn't mean to be.

- I waited in your automobile like you said.

- But I went out and looked for you.

Well, you see, after a while, it started to rain.

So I got in the back

and pulled the cover down.

Oh, you poor kid.

- I'm awfully sorry.

- But I like being a stowaway, Uncle Tommy.

This is Susan Parker, my best friend.

He's my best friend too.

- How do you do?

- How do you do?

- Don't you think she's stravagant?

- She's magnificent.

Oh, thank you.

- Charming little niece you have, Mr Randall.

- I'm not really his niece, Susan.

- He's just pretending.

- Why...?

- But aren't you the child's uncle?

- No.

We met in Shanghai yesterday.

- Oh, Ching-Ching, you told me...

- I didn't mean to tell a fib.

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