Stowaway Page #7

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Oh...

- This is the address you go to.

- Thank you.

You're really wonderful.

I suppose you know that.

Well, at the moment,

I don't feel very wonderful.

Well, if you must know,

I don't feel so good myself.

- Good night, Susan.

- Good night, Tommy.

I...

Begging your pardon, sir, where shall I

lay out your pyjamas this evening?

- Where you laid them last night.

- Oh, dear. I'm so sorry, sir.

(knocking)

Come in.

Susan, why didn't you warn me

you were going to do this?

Well, I... I didn't have time,

and besides... (laughs) it's too late now.

- Well, it's hardly funny, is it?

- Not to me.

Well, tell me one thing.

You don't love him, do you?

Do you?

No, I don't, but even if I did

it wouldn't make any difference.

Yes, it would. Listen, darling,

I've been a worm, I know that now.

But I've had an understanding with Mother.

You can have your way from now on, always,

if you'll tell me there's a chance.

Oh, no, Richard.

It wouldn't work. You know it wouldn't.

You can be nice. You're nice now, but...

- Please, Susan.

- No, really, I'm too confused to talk about it.

I'm even too upset to think about it.

I'll follow you.

I'll follow you until you say yes.

No, Richard, I'd rather you didn't.

You'd better lock this.

One never knows, does one?

When love will come along

Then so suddenly life turns out to be a song

One never knows, does one?

The moment or the place

Then right before your eyes

Someone occupies your embrace

Someday, look and you'll find

two hearts were blessed

Someday, fate may be kind

Pray for the future,

hope for the best

One never knows, does one?

That's just the way it goes

All at once you hear, hold me, caress me

And then love may come

But when?

One never knows

Does one?

You stay in here

and I'll wait out in the courtroom.

- Is this Mrs Randall?

- Yes.

You mustn't be nervous

when your case is called.

I've placed you at the beginning

of today's calendar. Meanwhile, wait here.

That's awfully kind of you, Judge.

This is my first divorce,

and I'm a little jittery.

It is a little strange at first,

but they all get used to it.

- You know, like influenza.

- (knocking)

Come.

Right in here, please.

- Susan!

- Darling, I'm so glad to see you.

Oh, this is a surprise.

But I don't understand.

Well, you see, I thought

I might want another divorce sometime.

I was sort of curious

to see how they made them.

(clears throat)

- Judge Booth, this is Mr Randall.

- The husband, I presume?

Yes. This is my daughter.

- Your daughter?

- Adopted.

- How are you, young lady?

- Fine, thank you.

To greet one you love

is better for the health than medicine.

Well, I declare.

That sounds like a Chinese proverb.

Judge, you haven't heard anything yet.

Well, well, well.

Come over here and talk to me.

I... I tried to stay away, but I found I couldn't.

I had to see you again.

Suppose you and I have our talk

in the other room.

Uh...

- Will you excuse us for a few moments?

- Oh, but would it be proper?

- I mean, our being left alone together now.

- Oh, it's quite customary.

- You're looking very well.

- I haven't had a drink in six weeks.

- That's wonderful.

- No, it isn't, it's terrible.

Still, I'll get along, and it does show

what the influence of a good woman can do.

- Oh, really? Who is she?

- Ching-Ching.

I told you I'd do anything in the world for her.

You've proven that.

Honestly, you wouldn't know me.

I'm a changed man.

I may not be any better,

but at least I'm different.

I'm so glad.

You know, you were right about Reno.

It's a fascinating place.

- So charming and...

- Susan. Darling.

- Oh, Tommy, please.

- Do we have to go through with this?

Richard is waiting in the courtroom to marry

me. He's gonna take me back to the Orient.

Oh...

I see.

Well, I guess that's that, isn't it?

I'm sorry.

Sorrier than I can say.

Everyone rise.

Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye!

The District Court of Washoe,

State of Nevada, is now in session.

The Honourable JG Booth, judge presiding.

Be seated, please.

Case of Randall versus Randall.

- Any witnesses for plaintiff?

- The case is uncontested.

In that case, the court would like

to call a witness of its own.

But the case is uncontested.

I said the court will call a witness of its own.

Miss Barbara Randall.

We don't want her mixed up in this.

The witness will take the stand.

The defendant will please be seated.

- Raise your right hand, please.

- I think we can dispense with the oath.

- Yes, Your Honour.

- Now, Miss Randall.

- You can call me Ching-Ching, Judge.

- Thank you.

Now, Ching-Ching, the plaintiff

alleges general incompatibility.

Have you ever noticed

evidence of such a condition

existing between the parties to this action?

To my knowledge,

the contestants in this action

have manifested

nothing but the most harmonious,

cordial and friendly feelings

towards each other.

- But, Your Honour, I object.

- Who are you, young man?

- Why, I'm engaged to the plaintiff.

- Engaged?

To a married woman?

- This court recognises no such engagement.

- (laughter)

Now, Ching-Ching, have either of the parties

in this action ever evidenced by their conduct

any proper legal ground for divorce?

There's utterly no ground for disturbing

the marital status of the contestants.

Most irregular, Your Honour.

The child doesn't know what she is saying.

Oh, yes, she does.

Tell the court.

Isn't this action the result of two

grown-up people behaving like children,

refusing to admit

that they're in love with each other?

The allegations of the complaint

insofar as it refers to...

Uh...

Matrimony.

Huh?

- Matrimony.

- Oh, yes.

- Insofar as it refers to macaroni...

- (lawyer) Macaroni?

There! See, Your Honour?

The child has obviously been coached.

I was not. I just forgot

what the judge told me to say.

- (laughter)

- (gavel)

- ls counsel intimating that she is lying?

- Counsel charges just that.

Have you any witnesses

to disprove her testimony?

Do you wish to testify

that this child was lying?

Why...

- No, of course not.

- Then you admit that you love Mrs Randall?

She knows I do.

You, Mrs Randall.

Do you wish to attack this child's veracity?

- Why, no, certainly not.

- You admit that you love your husband?

- Well, yes, I do.

- Then what's all this nonsense about?

Divorce denied. Take your child

and go home, both of you, where you belong.

Your Honour, what about me?

My advice, young man, is to stop tampering

with the affections of married women.

- Well, we did it, didn't we?

- You bet we did.

Judge, you're simply stravagant.

( "That's What I Want For Christmas")

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