Strange Brew Page #10

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Bob Hey, got me out of here will you! I got a whiz to throw!

Doug

Boy, that was some belch! We thought you were going to take a leak!

Bob

What do you mean? Just get me out of here! Come on you hoser. I'd

have saved you some, but I had to save Pam's life, eh?

Doug

Ok, let me see here. [tries to grab Bob]

Bob

Ow! Not there!

Doug

Ok, how about here?

Bob

Hey, that feels good!

[cut to cafeteria. Pam and Henry watch as the ghost of John, aided by

some 'nice' special effects, warns them to stop the beer delivery to

Oktoberfest.]

Pam

[to Henry] I think I'd better go. [they hug]

[cut to outside shot of brewery and institute, where John's ghost

causes an explosion which has no apparent result on the structure of

the institute.]

[cut to vat room]

Inspector

What was that?

Doug

It wasn't me!

Policeman 6

The roof just blew off the institute. It's on fire.

Doug

On fire? Geez. [to Bob] Hey, can you hold it a minute?

Bob

Yeah, buy hurry will you? I have got to go!

Doug

Here, give me a hand. I've got an idea...

[cut to outside of institute, where Bob has put out the fire and is

zipping up his pants, which are now normal size.]

Doug

Are you done yet?

Bob

Yeah.

Doug

Beauty.

Fireman

You did a fine job son. What took you two minutes would have taken us

two hours. If you ever want a job at the fire department you come

and see me and you've got it!

Bob

What about my brother? Can he get a job?

Inspector

You boys want to come with us?

Doug

Where are you going?

Inspector

Oktoberfest.

Bob

Geez, I've had enough beer for awhile...

LaRose

Two truckloads of that bad beer went there this morning!

Pam

We have to stop the people from drinking it!

Inspector

That's a thirsty crowd. It won't be easy.

Doug

Ok, I've got an idea, but we have to go home first. Ok?

Inspector

You guys go with them [to policemen 5 & 6].

Bob

How come we're going home?

Doug

Don't worry about it. Just put these clothes on...

[cut to Oktoberfest where the truck are arriving from the brewery.]

Announcer

Ah. Elsinore beer. Will go right over there.

Workman

Ok. You've got it.

[cut to McKenzie home where Bob wields a policeman's megaphone.]

Bob

Ok, all cops, get out of your cars. [cops get out of their cars] Ok,

I want to take a head count. Like maybe we'll have some breakfast.

Some back bacon sandwiches while we was waiting. Ok, another thing,

you all went through the stop sign back there, and that's a moving

violation, and my brother and I - we have a lot of parking tickets...

Doug

[arrives with Hosehead] Ok!

Bob

Ok, my brother's here, so all cops, come on up!

Doug

[to Hosehead] Sit! Sit! [to Inspector] Got a map? [the Inspector

gives the map to Bob, who shows it to Hosehead] Ok, this is like an

aerial view. Ok, take the 401 to here, then take highway 6 north, ok?

It goes right up here. That's the offramp.

Bob

Don't forget to take a right at highway 6, eh?

Doug

Ok? So when you get there you can have all the free beer and sausages

you can eat, eh?

[Hosehead, painted like a skunk, takes off down the street, then flies

into the air and heads for Oktoberfest. A red cape unfurls on his

back.]

[cut to Oktoberfest, main tent]

Announcer

Can I get everyone's attention please? We are very happy to announce

that today all the beer is free. [the crowd roars it's approval] It

is courtesy of our good friends at Elsinore Brewery. [the crowd roars

again and the band strikes up a polka. The beer flows freely.]

[After a few minutes of revelry, Hosehead bursts through the tent roof

and lands amidst the crowd.]

Reveler

SKUNK! [Everyone clears out of the tent. Minutes later the police

arrive, with Bob and Doug.]

Policeman 7 [to Inspector]

I wouldn't go in there. There's a BIG skunk in there.

Inspector

We know about that. It's a Toronto skunk, and it's my jurisdiction.

[they enter the tent, where Hosehead gorges himself on beer and

beauts] Well boys, it worked. I can't thank you enough. I really

can't. That's some dog of yours, too. He's really hungry, isn't he?

Doug

He's always hungry, eh?

Bob

We couldn't feed him, eh?, because we were in jail.

Doug

Yeah, you put us there. Thanks a lot, eh?

Bob

Yeah, we were innocent, too, eh?

Inspector

Just a second, boys, just a second! Now maybe we can drop the criminal

charges, but that mental incompetence thing will be tough to beat.

Pam

I'll take care of them. From now on they're working full time at the

brewery for me and Rosie! Come on!

LaRose

Let's go, dear!

Doug [to Bob]

Let's go, dear!

Bob

See you, inspector!

Doug

Yeah, bye!

[cut to outside the tent]

Doug [tripping over box]

Pam, we were wondering, eh?, like, just exactly what is wrong with the

beer, eh? Is it poison? Could it kill you?

LaRose

No, no. It's not a poison. It's more like a drug. It can wear off in

time, like it did with me, eh?

Doug

Oh, well, we were thinking that since we're employees of the brewery

now, eh?, perhaps it would be a good idea for us to take all the

contaminated beer back to the brewery, where it can be properly

disposed of, eh?

Pam

You know how to handle one of those big rigs?

Bob

Geez, it's a ten speed...[Doug thumps him.]

Doug

Yeah, sure, of course. Like, we drive them all the time.

Pam

Well take off, eh?

[Bob and Doug run for the truck]

Bob

You're lying, eh?

Doug

It's ok, don't worry. Just trust me.

Bob

You're lying.

Doug

Just come here, I want to talk to you.

Bob

You're just tricking me.

Doug

Come here...

Bob

If you sucker me in...

Doug

[grabs Bob] You take right off!

Bob

I knew you'd sucker me in! You don't know how to drive this thing!

Doug

I do so! It's just a ten speed, that's 5 speed times two!

Bob

We're going to crash! We're going to be in the water again!

Doug

Take off! We are not going to crash, eh? There's no way I'll crash

this, this is a beer truck, eh?

[They both get the idea and hop in the truck. With minor difficulty,

they 'take off'!]

///////////////////////// CREDITS /////////////////////////////

Doug Mckenzie DAVE THOMAS

Bob McKenzie RICK MORANIS

Brewmeister Smith MAX VON SYDOW

Claude Elsinore PAUL DOOLEY

Pam Elsinore LYNNE GRIFFIN

Jean LaRose ANGUS MacINNES

The Inspector TOM HARVEY

Henry Green DOUGLAS CAMPBELL

Ted BRIAN McCONNACHIE

Jack Hawkland LEN DONCHEFF

Gertrude JILL FRAPIER

The Judge DAVID BEARD

The Prosecutor THICK WILSON

Ballif ROBERT WINDSOR

Angry man at movie SID LYNAS

Man in movie RON JAMES

Lady in movie DORA DAINTON

Man in the alley DAVID CLEMENT

Pensioneer PADDY SAMPSON

Beer store clerk ROGER DUNN

Recepcionist DIANE DOUGLASS

John Elsinore ERIC HOUSE

Fire chief J. WINSTON CARROLL

Bald con JAMES CONROY

Prison guard GLENN BECK

Parking attendent DESH BANDHU

MC at Oktoberfest IUJA IUJEVSKI

Nurses MARY CHARLOTTE WILCOX MAGGIE BUTTERFIELD

Policemen DAVID RIGBY DENIS FOREST JOHN KELLY DICK GRANT GEORGE

STINTON:

Hospital orderlies THOM BELL CHRISTOPHER BENSON JOHN STONEHAM

Hosehead the Dog BUDDY the DOG

Voice of Mr. McKenzie MEL BLANC

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